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#1 Posted by The_jackolantern (501 posts) - - Show Bio

You wake up after a day of drinking,your in a empty nightclub and the doors burst open,there is a infinite amount of blood thirsty 9 year olds running at you trying to kill you how many could you take out before the swarm you and kill you? You are missing a shoe and hungover The children have whatever toys that are cool at the moment and blood thirsty No morals

#2 Posted by The_Lunact_And_Manic (3296 posts) - - Show Bio

I would keep using the This-is-Sparta-Death-Kick til they die...

#3 Posted by YoungJustice (7241 posts) - - Show Bio

It depends, what is your durability like?

Sorry mods, but saying flagged for spam is boring.

#4 Posted by Strider92 (18005 posts) - - Show Bio

I'd just scream "Santa isn't real!" and watch them all break down into tears leaving me free to one-shot them...........cruel but effective!

#5 Posted by tomlikesfries (5318 posts) - - Show Bio

Since I'm in a nightclub, I'd play multiple Nicki Minaj and Justin Bieber songs and watch their ears bleed, while I'd cover mine with cotton and headphones! Yeahh... that's right... I'm that cruel! MWAHAHA! MWAHAHAHA! (evil laugh)

#6 Posted by The_jackolantern (501 posts) - - Show Bio

@Strider92 Santa isn't real would spear them on they would wan your blood even more. @youngjustice depends what your like on a hangover? I think I could take 40 down.using chairs,empty bottles,bitch slaps and spinning children around by there legs hitting other children

#7 Posted by Bossmonster (2588 posts) - - Show Bio

I carry two knives on me at all time and have a Black Belt in 2 martial arts that I still study weekly. I'm pretty sure that I could kill enough to make them fall out of blood lust and not want to keep fighting me.

#8 Posted by The_jackolantern (501 posts) - - Show Bio

How many is enough tho?

#9 Posted by Jayfournines (4160 posts) - - Show Bio

How many 9 year old could I beat up?

all of them

#10 Posted by The_jackolantern (501 posts) - - Show Bio

A never ending amount and you could bet them all up?

#11 Posted by whydama (1126 posts) - - Show Bio

I could KO around 50 with no weapons. Beyond that, my stamina will be gone.

#13 Posted by TheCheeseStabber (8195 posts) - - Show Bio

Nine year olds don't fight fair

Lots of Crotch shots....

Anyway I'de grab a broken bar stool from last nights debacle and stab about 5 of them before being pinned down and killed...

My last thought would be "Where the hell is my other dam shoe anyway..."

#14 Posted by N0tS0An0nym0us (924 posts) - - Show Bio

if all the people here were nine year olds, I could take...

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bout that many with my benny hin fus ro da......

#15 Posted by smokinclone (6 posts) - - Show Bio

slam the door shut to buy myself a few moments. let's be realistic a mob will take down anyone eventually even if it's munchkins. while they're breaking down the door i'll use the bar rag the highest proof alcohol i can get my hands on and my trusty zippo and start chucking moltovs at them. i'd run out the back and make for higher ground moltovs in hand and begin carpet bombing the little bastards from the rooftop. then i'd smack em off the roof till exhaustion which probably is realistically about half an hour.

#16 Posted by _Lucent_ (373 posts) - - Show Bio

If all of them are attacking me at the same time, probably 35 at maximum...

#17 Posted by Shark_Repellent_Bat_Spray (764 posts) - - Show Bio

@The_jackolantern said:

You wake up after a day of drinking,your in a empty nightclub and the doors burst open,there is a infinite amount of blood thirsty 9 year olds running at you trying to kill you how many could you take out before the swarm you and kill you? You are missing a shoe and hungover The children have whatever toys that are cool at the moment and blood thirsty No morals

I have to say I laughed so hard at "The Children have whatever toys are cool at the moment"

#18 Posted by Captain_Awesome85 (476 posts) - - Show Bio
How many now?
#19 Edited by UltimateHero0406 (2267 posts) - - Show Bio
#20 Edited by Bane_of_sith (2909 posts) - - Show Bio

At least 73,, I know this because I "ruined" a fourth grade field trip once

#21 Posted by Dracade102 (8451 posts) - - Show Bio

Wait... They're coming after my toys?

Every last one of them.

#22 Edited by ThanoStomp (839 posts) - - Show Bio

I could probably handle quite a few. But it only takes one shot from one of those little buggers to put a grown man down. Believe me as I speak from experience. I was roughhousing with my 8 year old girl and I got distracted for a split second and she landed a very clean shot square on my right ball. I went down and didn't get up for a good 3-4 minutes(EDIT: Happy to say I did father another child after that)

9 year olds are at the perfect height to land bombs on your family jewels. And it is not fun.

#23 Posted by Esquire (3909 posts) - - Show Bio

It depends largely on how hungover I would be. With morals off and at, say, 80% functionality, I'm confident that I could drive off a 9-year-old in two shots, max. They're tenacious but they can't take a hit. I'd estimate 50, with a ceiling of around 100. With 5 minutes prep I could do a lot more damage.

#24 Posted by DocFatalis (1451 posts) - - Show Bio

Just toss them an Ipad and watch them fight to death for it. Go have a beer, clean up the mess and get the bar ready for the 18:00 opening will you?

#25 Posted by Matchstick (568 posts) - - Show Bio

I don't know how many for sure, but it would sure be fun as hell. Let's be honest, who hasn't wanted to beat a 9 year old with another 9 year old.

#26 Posted by Doctor!!!!! (2135 posts) - - Show Bio

Like... a whole lot! just give me some time!

#27 Posted by jobiwankenobi (1498 posts) - - Show Bio

It depends on how big they are. I could take down about twenty if they're average. My stamina just isn't good enough to go any further.

#28 Posted by YourNeighborhoodComicGeek (20950 posts) - - Show Bio

@ThanoStomp said:

I could probably handle quite a few. But it only takes one shot from one of those little buggers to put a grown man down. Believe me as I speak from experience. I was roughhousing with my 8 year old girl and I got distracted for a split second and she landed a very clean shot square on my right ball. I went down and didn't get up for a good 3-4 minutes(EDIT: Happy to say I did father another child after that)

9 year olds are at the perfect height to land bombs on your family jewels. And it is not fun.

LOL That's hilarious.

#29 Posted by Mercy_ (92784 posts) - - Show Bio

@Strider92 said:

I'd just scream "Santa isn't real!" and watch them all break down into tears leaving me free to one-shot them...........cruel but effective!

Or send them into a berskerker rage

Moderator
#30 Posted by AmazingScrewOnHead (753 posts) - - Show Bio

My little brother could probally kill all of you.

#31 Posted by JamesKM716 (2018 posts) - - Show Bio

I feel like i could go indefinitly. 9 year olds aren't very durable....

#32 Edited by Strider92 (18005 posts) - - Show Bio

@Mercy_: I'd be willing to take a gamble besides they're already bloodlusted I don't have much to lose! I could throw in some Yo Mama jokes or some cracks about the Easter Bunny too!

#33 Posted by heroesgold (639 posts) - - Show Bio

I'm the best so all of them. lol jking Maybe around 80/90

#34 Posted by guttridgeb (4881 posts) - - Show Bio

Embarrassingly few, I've been beaten in an arm wrestle by a 7 year old before (and yes, I was trying).

#35 Posted by Dark Cloud™ (2797 posts) - - Show Bio

I volunteered at the local Children's Nursery and managed to spoil lunches for 26 grade school kids (around the ages of 8 and 9). I also beat my 9 year old nephew on a routine basis, until his 14 year old brother gets home from high school and destroys me on Black Ops 2.

#36 Posted by *Void* (1103 posts) - - Show Bio

I remind them that if they hurt me Santa will put them on his naughty list, as they start to leave I jump into my Hummer and over the little demons whilst hurling yo mama jokes with a drunken slur.

#37 Posted by tomlikesfries (5318 posts) - - Show Bio

@Captain_Awesome85 said:

How many now?

Holy $@#%! That's disturbing.

#38 Posted by sync1 (3062 posts) - - Show Bio

I curbstomp via "I'M TELLLING!!!!!!"

#39 Posted by steelhound56 (1076 posts) - - Show Bio

I take out a few hundred given some minimal prep time.

9 year olds are not very durable, and I can say with good confidence I can cause serious trauma with a single punch/kick to certain vital areas

I immediately dive behind the bar area and grab the crowd control/ self defense weapon that almost all clubs stash behind the bar. Depending on the area, this weapon can range from a club to non lethal crowd control (stun guns or shotguns with rubber slugs/shot)

When in danger of being overwhelmed by sheer numbers (I will work to create a choke point to limit the amount of children that can enter the club at once), I take a bottle of overproof alcohol and a bar rag, making an impromptu Molotov cocktail. I lob one at the entrance, where the relatively low temperature fire will create an opening for me to escape to a more defensible location (9 year olds will scatter when they see the fire). I sprint through the fire, shedding any clothes that may have caught fire. I sprint to a fire escape, pulling up the ladder behind me to ensure I am not pursued. I then raid the nearest apartment for anything I can use for a potential long range projectiles to brain the 9 year olds below. I eventually succumb to superior numbers and siege tactics however, and die a slow death from starvation

#40 Posted by Crimsonlord53 (1484 posts) - - Show Bio

Do I have to kill them or just stop them from killing me?

Break a couple dozen legs and arms maybe a few ribs even blood lusted little s... well see me as the bigger monster.

#41 Posted by dccomicsrule2011 (30660 posts) - - Show Bio

100

#42 Posted by jeanroygrant (20442 posts) - - Show Bio

@Bane_of_sith said:

At least 73,, I know this because I "ruined" a fourth grade field trip once

Lol

#43 Posted by cameron83 (7808 posts) - - Show Bio

@Mercy_ said:

@Strider92 said:

I'd just scream "Santa isn't real!" and watch them all break down into tears leaving me free to one-shot them...........cruel but effective!

Or send them into a berskerker rage

this^

@ThanoStomp said:

I could probably handle quite a few. But it only takes one shot from one of those little buggers to put a grown man down. Believe me as I speak from experience. I was roughhousing with my 8 year old girl and I got distracted for a split second and she landed a very clean shot square on my right ball. I went down and didn't get up for a good 3-4 minutes(EDIT: Happy to say I did father another child after that)

9 year olds are at the perfect height to land bombs on your family jewels. And it is not fun.

0.o

Online
#44 Edited by Kingshark (179 posts) - - Show Bio

You guys would beat up 9 year old's? Disgusting child abusers!

Joking. About 20 I'd say. :P

#45 Posted by WaveMotionCannon (6285 posts) - - Show Bio
@The_jackolantern
@Strider92 Santa isn't real would spear them on they would wan your blood even more. @youngjustice depends what your like on a hangover? I think I could take 40 down.using chairs,empty bottles,bitch slaps and spinning children around by there legs hitting other children
This. Perfect tactics
#46 Posted by steelhound56 (1076 posts) - - Show Bio

@Crimsonlord53 said:

Do I have to kill them or just stop them from killing me?

Break a couple dozen legs and arms maybe a few ribs even blood lusted little s... well see me as the bigger monster.

You could also use the bodies as armor upgrades for yourself.....

#47 Posted by ComicStooge (16660 posts) - - Show Bio

20-30.

#48 Edited by nerdork (4055 posts) - - Show Bio

I took an online test like this once...except it was "How many Justin Biebers can you kill"? 46 was the result i got. But, seeign that he is looking more and more like a sexually confused woman, i am pretty confident that i could double that number.

As for 9 year olds...i'd become a whirlwind of death with broken bottles and chair legs...and if they get too close, ill bite them in the jugular.

#49 Posted by PlasticBag (1269 posts) - - Show Bio

More than 50 for sure seeing as I could one-shot most of them.

#50 Posted by tomlikesfries (5318 posts) - - Show Bio

@nerdork said:

I took an online test like this once...except it was "How many Justin Biebers can you kill"? 46 was the result i got. But, seeign that he is looking more and more like a sexually confused woman, i am pretty confident that i could double that number.

LOL