"I'm telling you Donna, for all the other planets' accomplishments, this place easily has the best waterslides in the galaxy!" The Doctor strode confidently out the door, assessing their surroundings.
Donna came out of the TARDIS in a pretty one-piece bathing blue bathing suit and a floral wrap skirt. The Doctor was still in his pinstripe suit, but had given in to at least one of Donna's demands and had acquiesced with a stripe of white zinc-oxide down his nose.
"It doesn’t look like a water park," she said with slight annoyance.
"I'm sure it's close by," the Doctor responded distractedly. He scanned the area again before seeing something and running towards it.
"Oi!" the Doctor yelled, running around the side of the school auditorium towards two teenagers in ratty clothing. They were attempting to shove an older man in a toga into a phone booth, while several other assorted people, including a cowboy and a small man in military garb waited next to the box.
"We're always running, aren't we?" Donna huffed, trying to catch up with the Doctor, who had the advantage from his naturally long legs and the fact that he didn't insist on wearing in his new flip-flops, unlike some more fashion-conscious redheads.
The Doctor stopped in front of the booth, glancing at the two boys before turning to glare at the man in the toga, whose body was halfway shoved into the phone booth. "Socrates, what are you doing here?"
The older man coughed delicately into the end of his toga draping. "Errr. Ahh," he said helplessly.
The shorter of the teenagers took that as a sign to enter into the conversation. "So-crates was just helping us with our history final." He bobbed his curly blond head, smiling broadly. "We got an A!"
"Yeah," the darker boy said, "Bill and I had a most excellent adventure in time, meeting persons of historical significance and showing them the world of San Dimas!"
"So you pulled Socrates out of Ancient Greece and brought him to California in 1989 for, what? A history project?!" The Doctor was practically sputtering now. "You couldn't just do the report yourselves?"
The light haired boy smiled broadly. "Not just So-crates! We got a whole collection! See!" He waved his arm to the other people patiently waiting to enter the phone booth.
"Is that Napoleon?" Donna asked gleefully.
The small Frenchman looked from Donna to the Doctor, his eyes widening in anger. "Doctor!" he screamed, before launching into a series of French curses that are too vulgar to repeat here. He attempted to launch himself at the Doctor before Abraham Lincoln caught him by his coat tails and reared him back.
The Doctor looked at Napoleon, completely flabbergasted. "What did you do?!" Donna demanded.
"Nothing! Nothing! Honest! It's not my fault that the TARDIS once made a detour through the Battle of Trafalgar…Anyway! I'm not the one in trouble here, I'm not the one who's been stealing people from history! Do you have Attila the Hun?" A grunt sounded from inside the phone booth. "And you gave him processed sugar?! Are you boys trying to destroy the universe?!"
The sound of a gun cocking turned the assembled group to look at the cowboy. "Well, I don't know who you are," the cowboy drawled with a thick western accent, the gun pointed at the Doctor's head, "but Bill and Ted helped me out, and I'm just returning the favor."
"Oh! Oh!" the Doctor screamed again, pushing the gun down before pointing at Bill and Ted. "You boys are so greedy! Billy the Kid too?!"
"Hey!" Billy responded, "I'm more MAN than kid!" He gave a long smile to Donna, who muttered quietly about there being nothing juvenile at all about the cowboy.
"Who else is in there?" The Doctor said, trying to peer past Attila, who was waving Twinkies around the enclosed space. "Joan of Arc, Beethoven, Sigmund Freud-"
"Doctor, shall we discuss your dreams again?" Dr. Freud yelled from inside the booth.
The Doctor frowned. "Shut it, you!" He turned back to look at the teenagers. "Okay. You boys have done something exceedingly stupid, pulling all these people out of their respected timelines."
"Why?" Ted asked in confusion.
"Wellllll," the Doctor said, suddenly interrupted from the speech he was about to give. He rubbed his head a bit helplessly. "Time's like a big ball of squishy twisty time, and when you pluck someone out of their Mongol palace and bring them to 1989 the whole thing falls apart, understand!?" The blank looks from all assembled clearly indicated "no".
"Okay," the Doctor continued. "You have to get these people back to their times as soon as possible."
The two boys laughed. Between laughs, Bill said, "That's what we were about to do Mister Doctor. We were just trying to get them all back in the phone booth but someone," and he looked significantly at Socrates, "ate too much at the mall and is having trouble fitting!"
"Oh! Well then good, then! Get on with it! And I don't forget anyone! I don't want to see Napoleon wandering around California for weeks." The Doctor turned around with a flourish of his coat and walked away from the phone booth.
Donna gave a last quick glance at Billy before hurrying after the Doctor. She quickly caught up with him and matched his gait as they walked towards the TARDIS. "That went well," she said lightly. The Doctor didn't respond.
When they reached the TARDIS the Doctor walked inside without another word and immediately began banging on the console, imputing their next destination. Donna stood to the side of the console, crossing her arms and watching the Doctor in amusement. "Sooo, what did Sigmund Freud have to say about your dreams?"
"Donna, I don't want to talk about this again!" he said, still stooping over the controls, twisting knobs and pushing buttons.
"That Billy the Kid, he was cute, very fit, a real man, not just a skinny thing! And to think, all that talk about 'Ohh, I'm the only one, ohh, come with me Donna, I can take you to ancient Rome' and there's a couple of teenagers with a time machine!"
"Yes, well. It may travel in time, but it lacks a certain grace that only the TARDIS possesses." He gave a final slam to the console with a mallet and looked up at Donna again. "And we're off!" He puttered around the console a minute before looking back up at Donna, who was still staring at him with her arms crossed expectantly, one eyebrow raised. "And we never speak of this again." As i said... we will never speak of this again!!!
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