J. Jonah Jameson puts a million dollar reward for the capture of the wallcrawler spiderman dead or alive in his newspaper article. Deadpool down on his luck decides to turn on the T.v. where he finds out about the reward, (cause he isnt much of a reader and he would never buy a newspaper).
DEADPOOL: ohh.. a job! i better visit old scrooge J. jonah and make sure on the dead or alive part. it can get so confusing at times him dead me alive or vice versa...hmm. electric slide by one, i mean bodyslide by one!
materializes in J. jonah's office ....
DEADPOOL: do the tootsie roll,, now slide, now slide, hammer time ! oh oh!! Hey their crumpy lips i mean mustache lips. i'm here to throw my hat in the ring and who said white boys cant dance? obviously they never seen me or justin, i taught him his moves you know and not just the dance steps.
J.Jonah Jameson: your an idiot wilson almost as bad as that web crawler!!! ever heard of an appointment? either way get out of my office you want the money bring me the spider and take parker with you! Peter Parker!!! DEADPOOL: hmm. i have a suspicious feeling he isnt here Jonah. my common sense is tingling... he wouldnt happen to look like this, would he? (activating his holo inducer & appearing as petey). is he a main character why else would he have the same letters in his initials.
J. Jonah: yeah, why? and how...
Deadpool: oh this? its standard equipment for us X men it allows us to blend in with the rest of you mutie hating intolerate bastiches of humanity.
J. jonah Jameson: your not an X man and i dont even think your a mutant!! Deadpool: I am too.. how else would you explain my spare costume with an X on it thats at home?
J. jonah: you stole it. find parker i want pictures!! DEADPOOL: do i look like a photographer? i mean i do, but i dont do pics they can be used against you in a court of law, you know.
few panels later exiting elevator at the lobby.... DEADPOOL: hey i know you, your me!! aint that a hoot i was looking for me i mean you. PARKER: what? who are you? where we going?
DEADPOOL: i'm me and your me too. we are going to beat up your significant other and collect my reward.
PARKER: My other?
DEADPOOL: yeah, dont act shocked i know about you and your alternate life style.
PARKER: how?
DEADPOOL: you would have to be a moron not to figure it out.
A FEW PANELS MORE.........ON TOP OF THE ROOF OF THE DAILY BUGLE..........
DEADPOOL: Okay do it... come on go!! do what you do oh so well..
PARKER :what?
DEADPOOL: sigh... look i know you and spidey are intimate with each other, hell who wouldnt wanna be right? swinging from building to buildings in his arms most be a dream for you and your ppl, look i aint here to judge: Gay, mutant, woman or god... i am an equal opportunist butt kicker. so no need for you and your significant other to think i'll hold back or anything.
PARKER: we are not gay!!
DEADPOOL: whatever, what do you ppl perfer to be called now queens? so hard to keep up with the labels..ohh i got it, its metro right? you perfer the term metro? yeah i can see why you like that better. makes you think of the city and buses, muy macho..while queen makes you think of old elizabeth and make up wigs and big dresses.
okay.. i'm tired of waiting he'll rescue you in the nick of time 'cause he's the hero watch.
PARKER: what are you doing? DEADPOOL: whats it look like? i am approaching you with mal intent. where i will proceed to throw you over the roof, only for you to be narrowedly rescued by your significant other in a heart warming moment.. duh.. dont worry this will bring you closer together, you'll thank me..any last words?
FALLING OVER THE BUILDING...........
PARKER: we're not gaaaay!!!
DEADPOOL: poor fella unable to come to terms with who he is, afraid he will be treated differently. maybe after this he should join us X men. Xaver can help him accept himself for who he is.
okay time for a weapons check: uzi's? check. swords? check. explosives,? check. hidden cache of weapons all over the roof? check.
1. W/wpns
2. H2H.
3. prep for DP.
4. blood lust
KO, KILL.
if DEADPOOL loses the next days newspaper will have an expose of peter and spidey being lovers, which was confessed to and confirmed by deadpool.. peter parker was fired from the dailey bugle after being unable to answer personel questions of his involvement during many of spidermans exploits. on the upside deadpool was offered 50 thousand for an exclusive interview by STAR Magazines, not a bad consulation prize.
"obviously you didnt read the set op because it was implied and stated that he could gets prep."
Actually it's only listed as the third scenario that he get's prep, and I specified that he get prep AND be able to ressurect Gwen Stacy, which apparently was a joke on deaf ears. Illregardless, I give this to Spidey almost everytime.
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