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Edited 11 months, 18 days ago

Poll: Chuck Norris vs. All of D.C., and all of Marvel's powerhouses. (49 votes)

Chuck Norris 71%
Chuck Norris 29%

The battle takes place on an indestrucable plain of Cement. Explain who wins, and why Chuck Norris beats them, because, we know he does. All the powerhouses, are at there most powerful. (Like World War Hulk, or something) Also, THer is a decades preperation, which DC, and Marvel use, but Chuck NOrris just sits and watches T.V., he needs no preperation. Also, you may refer to Chuck Norris, as CN for short.

Oh yeah, Morgan Freeman, narrates the fight.

Mine:

D.C.:

Superman- Chuck Norris creates kryptonite by speaking it, and throws it at superman, and superman explodes.

Batman-Superman takes this honerary oponet on with his awesome fighting skills. Batman is good, but Chuck Norris overwhelms him, with his awesomeness.

Green Lantern: Chuck Norris duplicates his own version of the ring, just better, and he kills GL instantly.

The Flash- CN knows where the flash is going, before he goes, and beats him there, then Chuck Norris tells flash to lose, and Flash does.

Wonder Woman- Chuck Norris knows about the Amazon's sexism, and he isn't happy about it, he teleports himself, and WW to the island, and declares himself king, he then bans WW, and all the amazon woman from the island, and fills it duplacates of himself.

Martian Manhunter- MM tries to read CN's mind, but CN blocks him out, and t hen blowes MM's mind up, with his toungue.

MARVEL:

Hulk- Hulk punches chuck norris, with breaks Hulks fist instately, then Chuck Norris thinks about Hulk exploding, and he does.

Thor- Thor shoots lighting at CN, and CN absorbs it with his beard, and shoots it back at Thor, instately killing Thor.

Iron Man- Iron man, being a genius, see's he is no match for Chuck Norris, and instately shoots himself with his own laser.

Spider-man- Chuck Norris decides to let Spider-man live, so he teleports Spider-man back to New York, and he lives on. (You can tell I'm a huge Spider-man fan)

Silver Surfur- Silver Surfur tries shoot CN, but CN just absorbs it, then shoots his own form of energy, with disenagrates SS.

Wolverine: Wolverine jumps at CN, and tries to stab him, his claws bend on CN's skin, then CN disable's Wolverine's healing abiltity, then rips up a peice of the cement and crushes Wolverine. (The cement may be indestrucable, to other people, but nothing is indestrucable for Chuck Norris)

AND FINALY:

Chuck Norris vs. Chuck Norris- They hit each other simaltaniously, which causes the universe to explode, both CNs survive, and they create their own form of a universe, where everything is perfect, and thereis no crime, because if someone commited one, they'd have to face Chuck Norris.

#51 Edited by NICK31898 (2087 posts) - - Show Bio
#52 Posted by GrandSymbiote94 (11523 posts) - - Show Bio

Chuck Norris get's murdered pretty easily.

#53 Posted by XiiX (7458 posts) - - Show Bio
#54 Posted by MisterWhisper (1813 posts) - - Show Bio

This kind of stupidity is why nerds get a bad reputation...

#55 Posted by ComicStooge (12043 posts) - - Show Bio

@comicstooge said:

They all ban together and create a portal to summon this man:

And he jump kicks Chuck's head off his shoulders.

That's way too high level a summoning. Not happening lol

The Bat-God can do anything.

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#56 Posted by PrinceAragorn1 (16129 posts) - - Show Bio

@princearagorn1 said:

@comicstooge said:

They all ban together and create a portal to summon this man:

And he jump kicks Chuck's head off his shoulders.

That's way too high level a summoning. Not happening lol

The Bat-God can do anything.

In this fight, He's a non-factor lol

#57 Posted by ComicStooge (12043 posts) - - Show Bio

@comicstooge said:

@princearagorn1 said:

@comicstooge said:

They all ban together and create a portal to summon this man:

And he jump kicks Chuck's head off his shoulders.

That's way too high level a summoning. Not happening lol

The Bat-God can do anything.

In this fight, He's a non-factor lol

Even Bruce Lee loves Batman. He'd resurrect himself from beating up people in the afterlife, to beat up Chuck Norris.

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#58 Posted by PrinceAragorn1 (16129 posts) - - Show Bio

@princearagorn1 said:

@comicstooge said:

@princearagorn1 said:

@comicstooge said:

They all ban together and create a portal to summon this man:

And he jump kicks Chuck's head off his shoulders.

That's way too high level a summoning. Not happening lol

The Bat-God can do anything.

In this fight, He's a non-factor lol

Even Bruce Lee loves Batman. He'd resurrect himself from beating up people in the afterlife, to beat up Chuck Norris.

That's a different thing. Brucepotence is still too high level a resource to be summoned, but it can come if it wishes so lol

#59 Posted by SSJLozza (1528 posts) - - Show Bio

@your_friendly_azn said:

I don't understand what's so special about Chuck Norris? He's a man that does Bowflex commercials now. Back in his prime he got his chest hair ripped off by Bruce Lee.

Yes, but this was Bruce Lee, which as we know can do half the things Chuck can, which is still very powerful.

Bruce Lee was way better than Chuck Norris. Seriously, why do you find him so impressive? He was a great martial artist in his day, but far from the greatest ever.

Tony Ja, Jet Li, and obviously Bruce Lee would all own him, along with a fair few others. I cba to make a long list but you get the point.

#60 Posted by thelocust619 (2197 posts) - - Show Bio

When Chuck Norris pees, the tide rises and sharks beach themselves. He can fart a desert into glass....but batman with prep solos

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#61 Posted by NICK31898 (2087 posts) - - Show Bio

@ssjlozza said:

@nick31898 said:

@your_friendly_azn said:

I don't understand what's so special about Chuck Norris? He's a man that does Bowflex commercials now. Back in his prime he got his chest hair ripped off by Bruce Lee.

Yes, but this was Bruce Lee, which as we know can do half the things Chuck can, which is still very powerful.

Bruce Lee was way better than Chuck Norris. Seriously, why do you find him so impressive? He was a great martial artist in his day, but far from the greatest ever.

Tony Ja, Jet Li, and obviously Bruce Lee would all own him, along with a fair few others. I cba to make a long list but you get the point.

(For real talk guys) I know bruce lee was a better fighter. But it's called a joke, learn how to use them.

#62 Posted by NICK31898 (2087 posts) - - Show Bio

When Chuck Norris pees, the tide rises and sharks beach themselves. He can fart a desert into glass....but batman with prep solos

How dare you say that such a mortal being could take on chuck norris, with or without prep.

#63 Edited by dum529001 (1624 posts) - - Show Bio
#64 Edited by thelocust619 (2197 posts) - - Show Bio

@nick31898: How dare you say anything in the universe could beat batman (with prep)? Except Death stroke. And dead pool. And spiderman. And like hundreds others. But batman. With prep. Just think....of all the prepping. Batman.

I can't disagree with much up there, except that when it came to Batman's turn hes already gone, just like in injustice. He knows when he's outmatched. He goes back to the bat cave while chuck finishes the rest and then stops along the way to crush a blue whale to death while only using bear hugs, because chuck Norris does what he wants, when he wants. This gives batman about 6 minutes of prep. He watches every Bruce Lee movie ever and copies his fighting style identically and rips off Chucks cheast-beard through his back and just before he drops him he whispers in his ear: "Bruce."

And then he falls.

And then he comes back because death is relative to chuck and he doesn't believe in it, but he leaves batman alone because he knows what can happen. Prep.

Oh and spiderman tries to shoot his web at Chuck who roundhouse kicks it so hard that the arm that shot it rips off. Bleeding profusely, he begs for death but chuck steps over him and keeps going....only way spidey is surviving this.

And the hulk retreats into banner's subconscious because hes scared. They die of a heart attack.

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#65 Posted by Marshall_Long (1872 posts) - - Show Bio

#66 Posted by thelocust619 (2197 posts) - - Show Bio

@marshall_long: I stole this picture. I'm not giving it back. I don't care.

Amazing

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#67 Posted by NICK31898 (2087 posts) - - Show Bio

@nick31898: How dare you say anything in the universe could beat batman (with prep)? Except Death stroke. And dead pool. And spiderman. And like hundreds others. But batman. With prep. Just think....of all the prepping. Batman.

I can't disagree with much up there, except that when it came to Batman's turn hes already gone, just like in injustice. He knows when he's outmatched. He goes back to the bat cave while chuck finishes the rest and then stops along the way to crush a blue whale to death while only using bear hugs, because chuck Norris does what he wants, when he wants. This gives batman about 6 minutes of prep. He watches every Bruce Lee movie ever and copies his fighting style identically and rips off Chucks cheast-beard through his back and just before he drops him he whispers in his ear: "Bruce."

And then he falls.

And then he comes back because death is relative to chuck and he doesn't believe in it, but he leaves batman alone because he knows what can happen. Prep.

Oh and spiderman tries to shoot his web at Chuck who roundhouse kicks it so hard that the arm that shot it rips off. Bleeding profusely, he begs for death but chuck steps over him and keeps going....only way spidey is surviving this.

And the hulk retreats into banner's subconscious because hes scared. They die of a heart attack.

No, he just kills batman.

#68 Posted by crest (256 posts) - - Show Bio

the indestructible plane itself fights and defeats both marvel and dc. in a desperate bid to prevent chuck from destroying it, A futile endever as chuck roundhouses it to atoms

morgan freeman somehow winds up sounding like a fran drescher in the presence of chuck

#69 Posted by Serinah_Pao (521 posts) - - Show Bio

@xiix said:

@frozenphoenix said:

@bossmonster said:

This is gay

This kind of stupidity is why nerds get a bad reputation...

No... People not being able to laugh and just joke around with one another is what makes this word suck as a whole.

#71 Posted by The_PAIN (720 posts) - - Show Bio

They all ban together and create a portal to summon this man:

And he jump kicks Chuck's head off his shoulders.

#72 Posted by NICK31898 (2087 posts) - - Show Bio

@serinah_pao said:

@xiix said:

@frozenphoenix said:

@bossmonster said:

This is gay

@misterwhisper said:

This kind of stupidity is why nerds get a bad reputation...

No... People not being able to laugh and just joke around with one another is what makes this word suck as a whole.

What word would that be?

Also, I think fat slobs that live in there mothers basement, never amount to much of anything and troll on line about things that the rest of the world finds insignificant is why Nerds get a bad name.

Not pointing out how freaking gay that these 8397526597 year old jokes that were never, and still aren't funny, are. But if you guys see it differently, I guess that's ok.

Watch out. Chuck might get you for that.

#73 Posted by _Cerberus_ (3436 posts) - - Show Bio

Chuck Norris stomps why would you bother making this thread?

#74 Posted by NICK31898 (2087 posts) - - Show Bio

Chuck Norris stomps why would you bother making this thread?

Because, if I didn't, I'm afraid Chuck would kill me.

#75 Posted by PrinceAragorn1 (16129 posts) - - Show Bio

@_cerberus_ said:

Chuck Norris stomps why would you bother making this thread?

Because, if I didn't, I'm afraid Chuck would kill me.

*chuckle* like this would make a difference..

#76 Posted by marvelelite09 (188 posts) - - Show Bio

Everyone on the list would kill Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris is a f*cking human and an actor, their is no way that he would defeat hulk or superman.

#77 Edited by MonsterStomp (16112 posts) - - Show Bio

The OP is an idiot.

Lock lock lock lock lock!

#78 Posted by eternityx (2515 posts) - - Show Bio

Spite.

Chuck Norris > Stan Lee = TOAA > Marvel and DC powerhouses.

#79 Edited by thelocust619 (2197 posts) - - Show Bio

@bossmonster: no, prick, nerds get a bad name for being interested in things mainstream society isn't, like chuck Norris jokes or....comic books. Just the fact ur so bothered by this is pathetic and the exact same intolerance you get when u try and talk about superman and the hulk to other people. Unless ur 12, its not cool. Were nerds. Here because were nerds. Deal with it and stop being a punk, do u really think anyone believes this? Or are u so selfish ul try to ruin other peoples good time just to be a bitter....ugh I hate people as dumb as this. What a child

And Btw the thing people hate about nerds the most is when we act like know it alls who are better than everyone else. Cough.

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#80 Posted by thelocust619 (2197 posts) - - Show Bio

Sorry for the name calling but that kinda talk is just offensive. Don't diss your own people that's about the dumbest thing anyone can do

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#82 Edited by No_Trolling (653 posts) - - Show Bio
#83 Edited by thelocust619 (2197 posts) - - Show Bio

@bossmonster: well. This is exactly what I meant by "know it all"...first off, how is this a random account? Its MY account lol there's nothing random about it, I'm as succeptible to ban as anyone else so off the bat ur not looking very bright. See those numbers in my name? Birthday. So random. Ur response, instead of apologizing for being a douche and telling everyone they're why people think nerds are fat (cuz of chuck Norris jokes?) Is to make more insults based on literally nothing. It has literally no bearing here. Like at all...so that makes what you said dumb. N hell I'm even skinny but I don't even like u talking that way to OTHER people cuz it ain't called for. I'll defend anyone who deserves it and you sir deserve to be banned if anyone. You are clearly bothered or u wouldn't be talking shit u little bitch so uk need a better defense then that. Ur a bitter little punk ass trying to ruin something other people are obviously enjoying and then throw indirect insults like ur too slick to be caught....I'm from jersey kid, around here we don't take that shit. That's why I called you out cuz I ain't got a problem telling some lil bitch to his face that he's retarded and doesn't belong. if that's your attitude get out, I'm sure no one here would mind flagging you cuz u just completely embarrassed yourself because unlike you, I haven't called anyone a name they haven't proved to be first. Get in your place.

If you would like to take this farther, lets take this to a different thread or something so these guys can have fun in peace

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#84 Edited by thelocust619 (2197 posts) - - Show Bio

People insulting the OP, the thread, the people in it....grow up. How small a guy do u have to be to attack people for having fun. Its disgusting. If anyone else wants to insult people for no reason, I'll be there to tell you right where to shove it. Unless I'm banned. Which I don't wanna be, but I ain't the guy to just stand around while someone tries to bully people and belittle them. This was a hilarious thread and no one deserves any of your crap, haters. I'll rip your comic collection.

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