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Edited 1 year, 1 month ago

Poll: Chuck Norris vs. All of D.C., and all of Marvel's powerhouses. (49 votes)

Chuck Norris 71%
Chuck Norris 29%

The battle takes place on an indestrucable plain of Cement. Explain who wins, and why Chuck Norris beats them, because, we know he does. All the powerhouses, are at there most powerful. (Like World War Hulk, or something) Also, THer is a decades preperation, which DC, and Marvel use, but Chuck NOrris just sits and watches T.V., he needs no preperation. Also, you may refer to Chuck Norris, as CN for short.

Oh yeah, Morgan Freeman, narrates the fight.

Mine:

D.C.:

Superman- Chuck Norris creates kryptonite by speaking it, and throws it at superman, and superman explodes.

Batman-Superman takes this honerary oponet on with his awesome fighting skills. Batman is good, but Chuck Norris overwhelms him, with his awesomeness.

Green Lantern: Chuck Norris duplicates his own version of the ring, just better, and he kills GL instantly.

The Flash- CN knows where the flash is going, before he goes, and beats him there, then Chuck Norris tells flash to lose, and Flash does.

Wonder Woman- Chuck Norris knows about the Amazon's sexism, and he isn't happy about it, he teleports himself, and WW to the island, and declares himself king, he then bans WW, and all the amazon woman from the island, and fills it duplacates of himself.

Martian Manhunter- MM tries to read CN's mind, but CN blocks him out, and t hen blowes MM's mind up, with his toungue.

MARVEL:

Hulk- Hulk punches chuck norris, with breaks Hulks fist instately, then Chuck Norris thinks about Hulk exploding, and he does.

Thor- Thor shoots lighting at CN, and CN absorbs it with his beard, and shoots it back at Thor, instately killing Thor.

Iron Man- Iron man, being a genius, see's he is no match for Chuck Norris, and instately shoots himself with his own laser.

Spider-man- Chuck Norris decides to let Spider-man live, so he teleports Spider-man back to New York, and he lives on. (You can tell I'm a huge Spider-man fan)

Silver Surfur- Silver Surfur tries shoot CN, but CN just absorbs it, then shoots his own form of energy, with disenagrates SS.

Wolverine: Wolverine jumps at CN, and tries to stab him, his claws bend on CN's skin, then CN disable's Wolverine's healing abiltity, then rips up a peice of the cement and crushes Wolverine. (The cement may be indestrucable, to other people, but nothing is indestrucable for Chuck Norris)

AND FINALY:

Chuck Norris vs. Chuck Norris- They hit each other simaltaniously, which causes the universe to explode, both CNs survive, and they create their own form of a universe, where everything is perfect, and thereis no crime, because if someone commited one, they'd have to face Chuck Norris.

#1 Posted by NICK31898 (2179 posts) - - Show Bio

Anybody?

#2 Posted by Dratini1331 (7028 posts) - - Show Bio

nothing else to say...

#3 Edited by HyperViper97 (1342 posts) - - Show Bio

@nick31898: obviously not a joke, as chuck is very serious. You got one part wrong. Current chuck is depowered because he shaved his beard. Ant man solos

#4 Edited by Wolverine08 (42355 posts) - - Show Bio

Chuck STOMPS!

Online
#6 Posted by Thedarklordpandamonium (4825 posts) - - Show Bio

There could be an argument for one Chuck Norris tripping on a body and beating the other.

#7 Posted by Your_Friendly_Azn (314 posts) - - Show Bio

I don't understand what's so special about Chuck Norris? He's a man that does Bowflex commercials now. Back in his prime he got his chest hair ripped off by Bruce Lee.

#8 Edited by BullPR (928 posts) - - Show Bio

Wrong forum for the poor CN.

The Flash wins. Easy.

#9 Posted by NICK31898 (2179 posts) - - Show Bio

I don't understand what's so special about Chuck Norris? He's a man that does Bowflex commercials now. Back in his prime he got his chest hair ripped off by Bruce Lee.

Yes, but this was Bruce Lee, which as we know can do half the things Chuck can, which is still very powerful.

#10 Posted by NICK31898 (2179 posts) - - Show Bio

@bullpr said:

Wrong forum for the poor CN.

The Flash wins. Easy.

Chuck Norris* wins. Easy.

Chuck NOrris is 4 sextillion times as fast as Flash......

#11 Posted by BullPR (928 posts) - - Show Bio

@bullpr said:

Wrong forum for the poor CN.

The Flash wins. Easy.

Chuck Norris* wins. Easy.

Chuck NOrris is 4 sextillion times as fast as Flash......

If CN has also the CN-force the go against the Speed-force, the CN-phasing to go against the speed-phasing, a famous CN-steal to go again the speed-stealing and of course a CN-other dimensions/time traveling to go against the speed-traveling, then yes, Super Comic Vine Red Costume Flash is doomed!

#12 Posted by lemonfryer (74 posts) - - Show Bio

I hate Chuck Norris, he's a homophobic piece of crap

#13 Posted by The_Legendary_SuperSaiyan_Hulk (10068 posts) - - Show Bio

Hmmm, who wins... Chuck Norris...or...Chuck Norris.. tough decision.

#14 Posted by Fallschirmjager (17552 posts) - - Show Bio

i felt like my iq has dropped as a result of clicking this thread. why do i do this to myself?

#15 Posted by sync1 (2970 posts) - - Show Bio
#16 Posted by TJSH96 (875 posts) - - Show Bio

The One Above All wins.

#17 Posted by The_Legendary_SuperSaiyan_Hulk (10068 posts) - - Show Bio

@sync1 said:

@the_legendary_supersaiyan_hulk said:

Hmmm, who wins... Chuck Norris...or...Chuck Norris.. tough decision.

Chuck Norris would win.

IDK, Chuck Norris makes a rather compelling argument against Chuck Norris. Who's to say that Chuck Norris can't beat Chuck Norris? I personally think it's completely plausible. After all, Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris, he should be more than capable of beating Chuck Norris.

#18 Edited by Thesrk (17 posts) - - Show Bio

Bruce lee comes and beats both combined Ftw!!!!

#19 Posted by VeganDiet (1069 posts) - - Show Bio

The year is 2016. I run for President. My only campaign promise is to finally and completely outlaw any and all Chuck Norris jokes. I win in a land slide. The ghost of Joe Strummer gives me a Nobel prize. Stan Lee officiates my wedding. Steve Ditko and John Romita redraw all of the old Amazing Spider-man comics to make Peter Parker look like me. I've made the world safe for humor again.

#20 Posted by FrozenPhoenix (1722 posts) - - Show Bio
#21 Edited by Dratini1331 (7028 posts) - - Show Bio

@bullpr said:

Wrong forum for the poor CN.

The Flash wins. Easy.

Chuck Norris* wins. Easy.

Chuck NOrris is 4 sextillion times as fast as Flash......

How dare you post such blatant lies!

Chuck has infinite speed, meaning he is infinitely faster than Flash. Don't you ever lowball Chuck.

#22 Edited by PrinceAragorn1 (17437 posts) - - Show Bio

@tjsh96 said:

The One Above All wins.

Lol no. stan lee gets stomped by chuck. So rest aren't even fodder..

#23 Edited by JackKnight (2969 posts) - - Show Bio

#24 Posted by bunt947 (375 posts) - - Show Bio

If Marvel team recruit Squirrel girl, they might have a chance

#25 Posted by NICK31898 (2179 posts) - - Show Bio

@nick31898 said:

@bullpr said:

Wrong forum for the poor CN.

The Flash wins. Easy.

Chuck Norris* wins. Easy.

Chuck NOrris is 4 sextillion times as fast as Flash......

How dare you post such blatant lies!

Chuck has infinite speed, meaning he is infinitely faster than Flash. Don't you ever lowball Chuck.

I do apologize for lowballing him.

The year is 2016. I run for President. My only campaign promise is to finally and completely outlaw any and all Chuck Norris jokes. I win in a land slide. The ghost of Joe Strummer gives me a Nobel prize. Stan Lee officiates my wedding. Steve Ditko and John Romita redraw all of the old Amazing Spider-man comics to make Peter Parker look like me. I've made the world safe for humor again.

Well if Chuck Norris runs against you, you don't stand a chance.

#26 Posted by TifaLockhart (14051 posts) - - Show Bio
#27 Posted by Marshall_Long (2040 posts) - - Show Bio

Superman might of sneezed away Solar Systems but Chuck Norris can...

#28 Posted by DeathHero61 (6482 posts) - - Show Bio

Guys wanna know why they don't make jokes about bruce lee? cause bruce lee isn't a joke...... and thats the only bruce lee fact ever created.

#29 Edited by camera_guy (233 posts) - - Show Bio
#30 Posted by SpideyPresence (1906 posts) - - Show Bio

This can't be happening.... Chuck can't lose but he is losing to himself!

#31 Posted by ComicStooge (12858 posts) - - Show Bio

They all ban together and create a portal to summon this man:

And he jump kicks Chuck's head off his shoulders.

Online
#32 Posted by TifaLockhart (14051 posts) - - Show Bio
#33 Posted by Chibi_cute (4544 posts) - - Show Bio

Chuck norris slaughters them before the fight even started.

#34 Posted by RudeBomberBoy01 (1839 posts) - - Show Bio

What is this? Hahaha! Why am I seeing a bunch of weird stuffs on the vine lately?

:D

#35 Posted by IheartZombies92 (2200 posts) - - Show Bio

Franklin Richards removes him from reality. Fin

#36 Posted by PrinceAragorn1 (17437 posts) - - Show Bio

They all ban together and create a portal to summon this man:

And he jump kicks Chuck's head off his shoulders.

That's way too high level a summoning. Not happening lol

#37 Posted by Serinah_Pao (521 posts) - - Show Bio

I love how many people get bent out of shape. lol

I love Chuck Norris , even if he probably wouldn't like me because I am a lesbian. Its just in my nature to love anyways. I grew up watching his films and I love him for that, his actions flicks were top notch. In the Spirit of the thread... I say Chuck Norris wins! Some people did to develop a sense of humor already.

#38 Posted by heroesgold (608 posts) - - Show Bio

T-These jokes are really getting old now..

#39 Posted by Batman242 (4860 posts) - - Show Bio

T-These jokes are really getting old now..

Have been old

#40 Posted by Chaos Prime (10842 posts) - - Show Bio

Chuck Norris was bitten by a zombie once & the Zombie turned into a Chuck Norris clone.

True story.

#41 Edited by PieHole (274 posts) - - Show Bio

Bruce lee rises from the grave to rip off Chuck's Pubes. Bruce lee then realise that Chuck has no pubes! Fatality. Pubeless victory.

#42 Posted by NICK31898 (2179 posts) - - Show Bio

@heroesgold said:

T-These jokes are really getting old now..

Have been old

Says who? Chuck Norris knows no age. So his Jokes know no age.

#43 Posted by kidman560 (7577 posts) - - Show Bio

ok yeah umm well you know supes could wi... *chuck Norris Btich slaps me. I mean Chuck Noris will win this after a tough fi... *Chuck Gives me a wedgie. Ok Ok Chuck Stomps this easily

#44 Posted by NICK31898 (2179 posts) - - Show Bio

ok yeah umm well you know supes could wi... *chuck Norris Btich slaps me. I mean Chuck Noris will win this after a tough fi... *Chuck Gives me a wedgie. Ok Ok Chuck Stomps this easily

Haha. "That's right." -Chuck Norris

#45 Edited by kidman560 (7577 posts) - - Show Bio

@kidman560 said:

ok yeah umm well you know supes could wi... *chuck Norris Btich slaps me. I mean Chuck Noris will win this after a tough fi... *Chuck Gives me a wedgie. Ok Ok Chuck Stomps this easily

Haha. "That's right." -Chuck Norris

yeah i say this of my own free will. *chuck cracks his knuckles* i have come to the conclusion that i had not previously given CN enough credit. there was never a doubt *gulp* in my mind that CN would of course wipe everyone listed here off the planet. I apologize for any confusion i have caused. Chuck Norris is and always shall BE!

#46 Edited by NICK31898 (2179 posts) - - Show Bio

@nick31898 said:

@kidman560 said:

ok yeah umm well you know supes could wi... *chuck Norris Btich slaps me. I mean Chuck Noris will win this after a tough fi... *Chuck Gives me a wedgie. Ok Ok Chuck Stomps this easily

Haha. "That's right." -Chuck Norris

yeah i say this of my own free will. *chuck cracks his knuckles* i have come to the conclusion that i had not previously given CN enough credit. there was never a doubt *gulp* in my mind that CN would of course wipe everyone listed here off the planet. I apologize for any confusion i have caused. Chuck Norris is and always shall BE!

#47 Posted by kidman560 (7577 posts) - - Show Bio

@nick31898: i love that movie. thanks for creating this post. its pretty funny

#48 Posted by Jmarshmallow (7145 posts) - - Show Bio

This is probably the first time I've laughed at a Chuck Norris joke in a while. Respect. So I guess you win Nick. And by that I mean Chuck wins.

Jmarshmallow

#49 Posted by Perethorn (3401 posts) - - Show Bio

If you bring Aunt May or Alfred team hay have a chance

#50 Posted by russellmania77 (15387 posts) - - Show Bio

@tjsh96 said:

The One Above All wins.