Celebrity Deathmatch: Bring on the Bad Guys!
We all know what Celebrity Deathmatch is, how it works, and how it got cancelled in 2007. A personal favorite matchup of mine is the Three Tenors vs Three Stooges fight. I just got to thinking that if in one episode, they do something that completely defies the laws of reality, and, with help from Stone Cold Steve Austin and Stephen Hawking putting their heads together, they build a machine that can bring fictional characters to life. So, this is the result: an edition of Deathmatch determined to find out who the baddest of the supervillains really are. Hence, Bring on the Bad Guys:
Johnny Gomez-Hello, and welcome to another pulse pounding edition of Celebrity Deathmatch! I'm Johnny Gomez.
Nick Diamond-And I'm Nick Diamond. Johnny, tonight's edition is one dedicated to those loveable freaks and geeks out there: comic book fans.
Johnny-That's right, Nick. Thanks to the collaborative efforts of Stephen Hawking and Stone Cold Steve Austin, the Celebrity Deathmatch time machine has been modified to be able to bring into reality fictional characters.
Nick-But what does this have to do with comic book geeks, you ask? Because tonight, we're going to see who's the baddest of the supervillains in what we like to call-BRING ON THE BAD GUYS!
Johnny-Each fight will be between two villains from the pages of DC and Marvel Comics, each of them arch-foes of some of the most popular, and in this case oversaturated, characters in the world.
Our first matchup is a literal catfight when Wonder Woman's archenemy the Cheetah goes up against Sabertooth, archenemy of the X-Men's Wolverine.
Nick-Then it'll be a faceoff between two hairless evil geniuses as Superman's greatest enemy Lex Luthor trades blows with the sinister Red Skull, enemy of Captain America.
Johnny-Finally, our main event is a fight of lunatic proportions when Batman's enemy the Joker goes mano e mano with Spider-Man villain the Green Goblin.
Here to explain the nature of each fight will be two famous comic book professionals-Marvel's own Stan "the Man" Lee and DC's Geoff Johns!
Stan-Glad to be here, Johnny.
Geoff-Honored to be here.
Johnny-Our first bout is about to begin, and since these two fighters are just too savage and wild to be outside the ring, this fight will be a cage match!
Nick-But not just any cage. Stan, care to elaborate?
Stan-This cage is constructed out of an unbreakable metal called adamantium, the same one in Wolverine's claws. Hopefully, this will prevent any uneeded carnage outside the ring.
Nick-Our corresppondent Tally Wong is down ringside to get a few words from each competitor. Tally?
Tally-Thank you, Nick. Right now I'm speaking with Barbara Ann Minerva, aka the Cheetah. Cheetah, your thoughts on this fight?
Cheetah-I hope Mr. Creed is ready to see who really rules the jungle in here. I'll make sure that overgrown tabby gets put to sleep.
Tally-You are aware he has a healing factor, right?
Cheetah-Say what?!?!?
Sabertooth-When I'm done with ya, I'll skin ya and make a fur coat out of ya. And then we'll see how the red carpet looks this year with me on it!
Johnny-Alright then, it's time to begin-Feline Fangs of Fury!
In the red corner, former archaeologist and archenemy of the Amazon Princess-the Cheetah!
Nick-And in the blue corner, more beast than man, with a blood feud with Wolverine that's older than his last shower-Sabertooth!
Mills Lane-Okay, kitties, I want a good clean fight. (A guy modeled after Chris Claremont then whispers into his ear.) Uh, okay then, just a good fight. Now let's get it on!
The way the fight is done (and the dialogue throughout it) is up to you! Post how you would imagine this fight were to go down, along with the commentary from Johnny and Nick.
After the winner is decided, I'll put up the next two fights, and then do the same for them.
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