Can your character top JESUS?

 my inspiration of course is: 
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.comicsalliance.com/media/2011/04/jesus-vs-batman.jpg

  http://www.comicsalliance.com/2011/04/29/batman-vs-jesus/

 reading this not only made me laugh but also realize that a lot of heroes can in fact be compared to the Christian Jesus and not just in the case of morals.

I have made a set of challenges for your favorite character or characters (feel free to play more than once) in classic king Namor style (hats off to your doom fortress thread ( the one with 500 hundred lions? i would link but i cant remember the name anymore( more parenthesis)

no restrictions on where you take your character from. remember even though Jesus is a character in all those bible story comics you are not actually fighting him so you can pick anime/manga characters. try not to do a character someone else has already done however.

 
PLEASE SPECIFY HOW :D they would face each challenge. see   Jedi Wolverine 's post for example 

1. Can your character teach a monastery of monks anything important or interesting?

2. your character must kill or stop a man with 2,000 souls in him. his only feats are breaking the largest chains the nearby townspeople can produce and throwing boulders. your extra materials consist of 2,000 pigs.

3. Can your character cross a desert in 40 days or less with no water?

4. there is a lake in your characters path. can he or she cross it quicker than Jesus walking over the surface?

5. Jesus withered a fig tree. your character vs a tree.

6. your character is at a party. does he or she have any party tricks that can top turning water into wine?

7. you are in the garden of Gethsemane. can your man/woman fight off 10 roman soldiers? 5 start the fight holding onto him or her

8. Can your dude carry a huge wooden cross lets say.... 3 miles without dying of exhaustion?

9. Can your character survive being crucified and/or resurrect by any means faster than 3 days?

10. Your character is trapped in a tomb with the entrance blocked off by a two ton rock with two guards outside sleeping. what do?

11. what sacrifice has your character made that can compare to martyrdom?

remember your character doesn't have to beat every category.

anyone feel free to rate each others character's performance with a 1-5 on each challenge. i look forward to seeing what characters have the highest scores :D

Bugs Bunny.

Was going to go for Zoom but he walks it all ..........

Bruce Lee then;

1. Can your character teach a monastery of monks anything important or interesting?

Bruce studied philosophy and will pass on his wisdoms.

2. your character must kill or stop a man with 2,000 souls in him. his only feats are breaking the largest chains the nearby townspeople can produce and throwing boulders. your extra materials consist of 2,000 pigs.

Bruce whips out his nun chucks and stomps the man.

3. Can your character cross a desert in 40 days or less with no water?

Bruce had awesome endurance and willpower but this is a 50/50

4. there is a lake in your characters path. can he or she cross it quicker than Jesus walking over the surface?

Bruce fails here

5. Jesus withered a fig tree. your character vs a tree.

Even with awesome conditioning Bruce would give it a good battering but the tree still stands lol

6. your character is at a party. does he or she have any party tricks that can top turning water into wine?

Bruce performs 1 finger and thumb push ups

7. you are in the garden of Gethsemane. can your man/woman fight off 10 roman soldiers? 5 start the fight holding onto him or her

If he manages to get some initial leverage then he has a small chance

8. Can your dude carry a huge wooden cross lets say.... 3 miles without dying of exhaustion?

Yes - Bruce ran for miles everyday and his endurance/stamina was incredible

9. Can your character survive being crucified and/or resurrect by any means faster than 3 days?

Nope

10. Your character is trapped in a tomb with the entrance blocked off by a two ton rock with two guards outside sleeping. what do?

Bruce couldnt do much here

11. what sacrifice has your character made that can compare to martyrdom?

Spent his life trying to perfect a style of martial art that would benefit all its practitioners and being a massive icon to many.

Ummm..... what?

You know, this was funny, until they said batman was a MARVEL comic character, then I lost respect for the Jesusers. I still love Jesus more than batman though.

Ronald is pretty funny.

Fine then: 
 
 
   

1. Can your character teach a monastery of monks anything important or interesting?

Lucifer's knowledge is greater than all the minds of Earth combined. 
 
 2. your character must kill or stop a man with 2,000 souls in him. his only feats are breaking the largest chains the nearby townspeople can produce and throwing boulders. your extra materials consist of 2,000 pigs.

Pffft. 
 
3. Can your character cross a desert in 40 days or less with no water?

He'd just teleport across in an instant. 
 
 4. there is a lake in your characters path. can he or she cross it quicker than Jesus walking over the surface?

 How about turning the host into cocktails?

7. you are in the garden of Gethsemane. can your man/woman fight off 10 roman soldiers? 5 start the fight holding onto him or her

 He could hold it for 3 million miles without exhaustion.

9. Can your character survive being crucified and/or resurrect by any means faster than 3 days?

 This is where immortality proves to be useful.
 
10. Your character is trapped in a tomb with the entrance blocked off by a two ton rock with two guards outside sleeping. what do?

 Blasts it into space with a gesture. Or teleports out.
 
11. what sacrifice has your character made that can compare to martyrdom?

Can I use God?
BB

1. Can your character teach a monastery of monks anything important or interesting?
 - He has years of experience and has trained with monks before

2. your character must kill or stop a man with 2,000 souls in him. his only feats are breaking the largest chains the nearby townspeople can produce and throwing boulders. your extra materials consist of 2,000 pigs. 
- Jack already killed something with way more souls in it

3. Can your character cross a desert in 40 days or less with no water?
- Already has I'm pretty sure

4. there is a lake in your characters path. can he or she cross it quicker than Jesus walking over the surface?
- He can just jump over the water

5. Jesus withered a fig tree. your character vs a tree.
- Cuts it in half

6. your character is at a party. does he or she have any party tricks that can top turning water into wine?
- Turns invisible

7. you are in the garden of Gethsemane. can your man/woman fight off 10 roman soldiers? 5 start the fight holding onto him or her
- Has fought off more than just 10

8. Can your dude carry a huge wooden cross lets say.... 3 miles without dying of exhaustion?
- Carried an extremely heavy boulder farther

9. Can your character survive being crucified and/or resurrect by any means faster than 3 days?
- I think he could by meditating

10. Your character is trapped in a tomb with the entrance blocked off by a two ton rock with two guards outside sleeping. what do?
Push the rock out of the tomb, and then throw the rock at the guards

11. what sacrifice has your character made that can compare to martyrdom?

- Jack spent his entire life training to stop a devil-like being

Well to be honest there are a large number of characters that could beat him and do most if not all those things just to name a few Ghost Rider Sentry Superman Mephisto Galactus Blackheart Silver Surfer many others too Jesus is like Aquaman hes not as strong especially when hes the son of god.

So as a fictional Jesus is lame especially when you compare him with other characters.Jesus is more of a magician.

Seriously. This could turn ugly.

@The_Last_Son_of_Czarnia said:

Seriously. This could turn ugly.

Only if you make it ugly. :p

@InnerVenom123: You misunderstand. That wasn't a threat. There are 3 things that get ugly on messageboards and they are sex, politics, and religion.

I'm trying to nip any potential disasters in the bud.

@The_Last_Son_of_Czarnia: All three of those topics are discussed regularly in the Off-Topic forum*. I don't see how it could erupt here in the Battle forum unless someone deliberately started something.

*Okay, well, sex not so much, but politics and religion-- hell yes.

You know, this was funny, until they said batman was a MARVEL comic character, then I lost respect for the Jesusers. I still love Jesus more than batman though.

Ronald is pretty funny.

@The_Last_Son_of_Czarnia said:

Seriously. This could turn ugly.

Only if you make it ugly. :p

Well to be honest there are a large number of characters that could kick his ass and do most if not all those things just to name a few Ghost Rider Sentry Superman Mephisto Galactus Blackheart Silver Surfer many others too Jesus is like Aquaman hes pretty lame especially when hes the son of god.

So as a fictional Jesus is lame especially when you compare him with other characters.Jesus is more of a carnival sideshow or magician.

Is this Jesus before or after he was crucified ?  

Can I use God?
BB

There are those who would find it very offensive, and would be far more confrontational than I am being. I'm not justifying their reactions, but this is a touchy subject.

Doctor Who.
 

@Blood_guts said:

i give that a good -_- but go ahead if it will make you happy. although a learned man could argue that because of the holy trinity god (christian) is jesus.

Usually see them as separate beings.
BB

@Billy Batson said:

@Blood_guts said:

i give that a good -_- but go ahead if it will make you happy. although a learned man could argue that because of the holy trinity god (christian) is jesus.

Usually see them as separate beings.
BB

Jesus is part of God, but not God in his entirety. If God and Jesus were perfectly interchangeable Jesus could have not died on the cross.

I disagree. I view Jesus as God, hence, the Christ in Christian.

@The_Last_Son_of_Czarnia said:

I disagree. I view Jesus as God, hence, the Christ in Christian.

He is God but only in a portion. Think of Jesus as being an avatar of Yaweh, that's his place in the trinity. If God came to Earth as his regular all powerful self he would not have been able be among humanity and die for our sins as the bible depicts.

I'm afraid I'm going to have to agree to disagree.

I'm surprised the site allows things like this...I'm honestly quite offended.

@Void_Paladin: Sorry, man. I agree that it's not cool to disrespect someone's God for the sake of a cheap laugh.

@Billy Batson said:

@Blood_guts said:

i give that a good -_- but go ahead if it will make you happy. although a learned man could argue that because of the holy trinity god (christian) is jesus.

Usually see them as separate beings.
BB

Jesus is part of God, but not God in his entirety. If God and Jesus were perfectly interchangeable Jesus could have not died on the cross.

Bad form.

This tread is spite. Talking about the Christian Jesus. He is god and can do anything. There's nothing you would be able to do.

@The_Last_Son_of_Czarnia said:

I disagree. I view Jesus as God, hence, the Christ in Christian.

He is God but only in a portion. Think of Jesus as being an avatar of Yaweh, that's his place in the trinity. If God came to Earth as his regular all powerful self he would not have been able be among humanity and die for our sins as the bible depicts.

I'm not going to argue, but I still stand firm in my belief that Jesus wasn't lying when he said he is the alpha and the omega.

@AquaDCman said:

This tread is spite. Talking about the Christian Jesus. He is god and can do anything. There's nothing you would be able to do.

There are a number of Christian theologians such as Soren Kierkegaard and Thomas Aquinas that believe that Jesus wasn't as powerful as his father God. Its not Christ's ability to kick ass that gives him value to his believers, but his teachings and offering a path to salvation that gives him value to his believers. Saying "X" character can beat Jesus in a fight is no more disrespectful to Christians than saying that Galactus can beat Martin Luther King in a fight is disrespectful to people who agree with Martin Luther King. Galactus being able to defeat MLK in a hypothetical battle doesn't devalue MLK's accomplishments in any way.

It may not feel like a big deal to you personally, but to have the guy I worship as God Himself called "pretty lame" and "fictional" and "a carnival sideshow or magician" and said to not be omnipotent is very offensive to me. Imagine if someone said smack about your God.

@The_Last_Son_of_Czarnia said:

It may not feel like a big deal to you personally, but to have the guy I worship as God Himself called "pretty lame" and "fictional" and "a carnival sideshow or magician" and said to not be omnipotent is very offensive to me. Imagine if someone said smack about your God.

Thor's got a hammer. He can take care of himself.

No but really. If the thread offends you so, just flag it and move on. You're only making more people view it by staying and posting.

oo Zombie Jesus Raptor Jesus God Satan Basement Cat The Serpent an Worthy Friedrich Nietche

@The_Last_Son_of_Czarnia: Part of life is there will always be people with very different views then your own. Even by practicing your own faith you may be offending people that belong to a contradicting faith tradition. Some Jews and Muslims for instance may be offended because they see Christians worshiping Jesus and they perceive it as idolatry. You certainly should have the right to practice you religion and express its views, but you probably wouldn't like it if someone told you to stop doing so because they said it was offensive to them. If people are intentionally being malicious that not acceptable, but if they are just sharing some views I say live and let live.

I wish there was a "like" button so I could like Progenitor's post.

Killer Croc 
 
Dare I say more people, dare I say more :p

Umm Silver Surfer yep

:P

I HATE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CHAPULIN COLORADO IS THE STRONGEST THERE IS IN THE UNIVERSE AND NOBODY TALKS ABOUT HIM I WISH YOU ALL GO TO HELL CHAPULIN MAKE ME YOURS!!!!!!!!!!

STOP IT! IM NOT EVEN DONE READING THE SECOND PAGE AND PEOPLE ARE NOT UNDERSTANDING WHAT IS GOING ON! 
 
*ahem* pick a character and say how he can rival or fail or whatever he would do in the place of jesus. also i would like to emphasize 
 
NO ONE IS FIGHTING JESUS SO STOP SAYING SPITE.  
 
please read the op :D 
 
also not really in the op but could people explain how their character could solve the problems @progenitor: especially wesker lol this shd be good

Sounds like Storm can do it too.

Krishna is indeed a good one.

For all you Christians take a little look at his story. You might be surprised.

And then know that Krishna was born before Jesus.