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#1 Posted by Sausageconhuevos (2 posts) - - Show Bio

In a fight, who would win? Superman or Aquaman? ( Aquaman is in his current version with the water hand). The fight takes place on a beach. I think Aquaman would beat him because being that they are both in the justice league, aquaman knows superman is vulnerable to kryptonite. Your opinions?

#2 Posted by N0tS0An0nym0us (907 posts) - - Show Bio
(I know it was Jonnz....but really, what's the difference?)
#3 Posted by XImpossibruX (5154 posts) - - Show Bio

Superman goes through him like butter.

#4 Posted by Killemall (18173 posts) - - Show Bio

@N0tS0An0nym0us: I would assume current version would mean New 52 rather than Aquaman Volume 4, Issue 29.

I however havent followed Aquaman series in New 52 so i am assuming this current version has the water hand.

#5 Posted by N0tS0An0nym0us (907 posts) - - Show Bio

@Killemall said:

@N0tS0An0nym0us: I would assume current version would mean New 52 rather than Aquaman Volume 4, Issue 29.

I however havent followed Aquaman series in New 52 so i am assuming this current version has the water hand.

"but really...what's the difference. That pic was just to be used as a joke, much like this thread is a joke and wasn't thought through, "
"We all know who's going to win, and it ain't King Fish Sticks."
#6 Posted by BlackWind (5361 posts) - - Show Bio

I like Aquaman way more than Superman, but this is a mismatch against Orin.

And the OP makes no sense.

#7 Edited by xeon1cs (1479 posts) - - Show Bio

If Aquaman wore an entire suit out of Kryptonite, and they fought on a Kryptonite island, on a Kryptonite planet, he would still lose to Superman.

I don't know why people somehow have the idea that Aquaman is anywhere near Supermans level, or that he has ever been near his level.

#8 Posted by joewell (6242 posts) - - Show Bio

@xeon1cs said:

If Aquaman wore an entire suit out of Kryptonite, and they fought on a Kryptonite island, on a Kryptonite planet, he would still lose to Superman.

I don't know why people somehow have the idea that Aquaman is anywhere near Supermans level, or that he has ever been near his level.

how?

#9 Posted by xeon1cs (1479 posts) - - Show Bio

@joewell said:

@xeon1cs said:

If Aquaman wore an entire suit out of Kryptonite, and they fought on a Kryptonite island, on a Kryptonite planet, he would still lose to Superman.

I don't know why people somehow have the idea that Aquaman is anywhere near Supermans level, or that he has ever been near his level.

how?

By hitting him.

#10 Posted by YoungJustice (6645 posts) - - Show Bio

LOLing at the ops reason for choosing Aquaman.

#11 Posted by batkevin74 (10369 posts) - - Show Bio

Aquaman Vs Superman you say... here's reason 1 for Aquaman

And here's reason 2

Aquaman can win, he has the tools, skills and powers to do so

#12 Posted by drgnx (3547 posts) - - Show Bio

I really wish AM was closer to Sups in strength, but he is not. hopefully he gets a major buff or something, but then all his race would need to match unless he gets some item that enhances strength, but can be rendered useless by some of his people (like a rare item) ...ho wait, we already a guy like that in this thread ....

#13 Posted by Pokeysteve (7912 posts) - - Show Bio

@xeon1cs said:

If Aquaman wore an entire suit out of Kryptonite, and they fought on a Kryptonite island, on a Kryptonite planet, he would still lose to Superman.

I don't know why people somehow have the idea that Aquaman is anywhere near Supermans level, or that he has ever been near his level.

Hahahahaha I love this post!!! It applies to a lot more characters other than Aquaman too.

#14 Posted by MonsterStomp (15274 posts) - - Show Bio

Superman gets stomped this is spite.

#15 Posted by xeon1cs (1479 posts) - - Show Bio

@MonsterStomp said:

Superman gets stomped this is spite.

#16 Posted by comicfan11 (740 posts) - - Show Bio

@drgnx said:

I really wish AM was closer to Sups in strength, but he is not. hopefully he gets a major buff or something, but then all his race would need to match unless he gets some item that enhances strength, but can be rendered useless by some of his people (like a rare item) ...ho wait, we already a guy like that in this thread ....

First of Aquaman will probably lose.

Second Aquaman has the tools to take down Supes, or has Supes become immune to magic and I missed it?

Third Aquaman is in a different league physically compared to the other Atlanteans being a hybrid and the son of the queen.

Fourth Aquaman is of course not as strong as Supes but preboot he had a hobby of wrecking 100 toners h2h, and in NuDCU he has some of the best physical feats be it speed strength or durability. And do tell me if someone else apart from him and WW drew blood from Darkseid.

#17 Posted by xxxddd (3569 posts) - - Show Bio

Since nothing is stated it's implied that both characters are current(i.e. New 52).

@Sausageconhuevos: If you mean pre 52, you should state that in your OP. For more information on how the battles should be written, go here.

#18 Edited by drgnx (3547 posts) - - Show Bio

@comicfan11 said:

@drgnx said:

I really wish AM was closer to Sups in strength, but he is not. hopefully he gets a major buff or something, but then all his race would need to match unless he gets some item that enhances strength, but can be rendered useless by some of his people (like a rare item) ...ho wait, we already a guy like that in this thread ....

First of Aquaman will probably lose.

Second Aquaman has the tools to take down Supes, or has Supes become immune to magic and I missed it?

Third Aquaman is in a different league physically compared to the other Atlanteans being a hybrid and the son of the queen.

Fourth Aquaman is of course not as strong as Supes but preboot he had a hobby of wrecking 100 toners h2h, and in NuDCU he has some of the best physical feats be it speed strength or durability. And do tell me if someone else apart from him and WW drew blood from Darkseid.

First off all I'm only talking about his strength so why are you arguing with me on some of these comments (crossed out because they have nothing to do with my comment)?

Second, while AM might be in the 100 ton range, superman has been shown to be much higher in DCnU

So are you trying to inform or argue? Because the only correction I've seen in regards to my actual comment is AM strength compared to other Atlantians ... which was really a side comment, still even if they are weaker, if they buffed AM, they would still need to enhance his Atlantian Rogues, at least, for them to still be a threat..He could be a meta-atlantian i guess so they would not need to enhance the whole race

#19 Posted by comicfan11 (740 posts) - - Show Bio

@drgnx:Mainly inform on the comment of all Atlanteans being equal in strength. For lack of better terms Aquaman is and always was a "Super or Meta Atlantean", arguably the most powerful physically Atlantean ever in the DCU (pre and post reboot).

#20 Posted by drgnx (3547 posts) - - Show Bio

@comicfan11 said:

@drgnx:Mainly inform on the comment of all Atlanteans being equal in strength. For lack of better terms Aquaman is and always was a "Super or Meta Atlantean", arguably the most powerful physically Atlantean ever in the DCU (pre and post reboot).

Oh okay, sorry, I misinterpreted your intention ... <.<

#21 Posted by PlasticBag (1222 posts) - - Show Bio

Poor Aqua Man.... R.I.P. Superman easily beats AM sorry to say for the people that oppose.

#22 Posted by Simon_the_digger (2817 posts) - - Show Bio

Superman

#23 Posted by actionmaker518 (34 posts) - - Show Bio

Superman will annihilate aquaman

#24 Posted by RedOwl_1 (1664 posts) - - Show Bio

Even though Aquaman would have plenty of water on his side, I don't think he stands a chance. And the kryptonite fact is irrelevant, He couldn't get kryptonite from the water, at least he's prepared and wouldn't be much of a fight :P Just like "UUUUUGH KRYPTONITE" and stuff :P

#25 Posted by jeanroygrant (20191 posts) - - Show Bio

Superman.

#26 Posted by logy5000 (5635 posts) - - Show Bio

Superman

#27 Posted by Sylvain (1640 posts) - - Show Bio

@Sausageconhuevos said:

In a fight, who would win? Superman or Aquaman? ( Aquaman is in his current version with the water hand). The fight takes place on a beach. I think Aquaman would beat him because being that they are both in the justice league, aquaman knows superman is vulnerable to kryptonite. Your opinions?
#28 Posted by raecinio (88 posts) - - Show Bio

Too many people worship Superman. I agree Superman would defeat Aquaman pretty easily. But with kryptonite, almost anyone can defeat Superman. Give a common thief some kryptonite bullets and Superman would be deader than Jason Todd's Batman killed by Superboy Prime.

#30 Posted by cameron83 (6499 posts) - - Show Bio

Is.....is this really a question?

#31 Posted by CornDog (15 posts) - - Show Bio

Oh my, lol Superman would destroy Aquaman. Don't get me wrong, Aquaman is pretty tough and brute, but no where near Supes.

#32 Edited by axelbra108 (14 posts) - - Show Bio

Lol so much bias. I am a big supes fan but if batman has beaten supes then aquaman has a chance for sure. Aquaman has tons of magic and that hand is not a joke. He could certainly if having the time to plan according set up a trap and with his skills immobilize and kill superman. If aquaman ambushed him with kryptonite he has a chance of winning. Is this possible? Of course.

Still, aquaman might be strong but if superman was informed of this plan or if he escaped from the kryptonite for even just a second (which superman kinda does all the time) then aquaman is a deadfish. There is no way aquaman is going to win this one physically. He could transport superman to another dimension with that hand, but that wouldn't hold superman for long and when he got back aquaman is in trouble. Still, yes it is possible just unlikely. Superman is literally one of the strongest players in both universes Aquaman has skills to pay the bills and that hand is no joke but he is out of tricks with Superman. In my opinion 7.9/10 superman wins no matter what. .1/10 stalemate just because no ones knows how powerful that hand really is. 2/10 Aquaman given the prep time and kryptonite aquaman has a huge advantage. Aquaman is smart and I think could pull it off even though highly unlikely. I feel like I might be a little generous here but it is definitely not impossible and aquaman is extremely resourceful.

#33 Posted by Dratini1331 (6922 posts) - - Show Bio

@axelbra108: Batman has never beaten Superman in a canon, main timeline encounter without lots of help and abusing their relationship. As a matter of fact, almost every time they've met in Canon, superman has beaten batman to within an inch of his life. E.g. Maxwell Lord incident.

That being said, Aquaman has a chance for taking this 4-5/10 via abusing the whole, "On a team" thing. Superman has nothing on the water hand, and we've already seen that N52 Superman is more reluctant to hit his teammates, including Aquaman. With the water hand and morals on/in character, Aquaman has a semi-decent chance.

#34 Posted by axelbra108 (14 posts) - - Show Bio

@dratini1331: I agree with morals on superman has a huge disadvantage as i don't see aquaman holding back. I also agree that superman has nothing on the water hand, but I'm unsure really if we know to what extent Aquaman could use it on Superman. If I remember correctly lady of the lake gives aquaman power to use the hand only when she sees his actions as righteous of the water bearer. I am not sure how this would play into a fight. Considering that it wouldn't effect Aquamans usage of the hand I think Supes is up for quite a surprise. If not righteous by lady of the lake I think Aquaman is in trouble. Bloodlusted superman vs bloodlusted aquaman I am quite unsure on... I do think aquaman has a chance, but it again depends on how powerful that hand of his is. To my knowledge this hasn't really been reveled but I'm guessing Superman doesn't stomp given Aquamans confidence in fighting manhunter and also that he was able to transport dimensions as waterbearer as well as bring people back from death via the hand. I am sure it can put a spell on superman, but still I think we can only speculate at this fight...unless im wrong nobody really knows how powerful new aquaman is with that hand.

#35 Edited by irvgotti (4 posts) - - Show Bio

You guys are delirious strength is not the only factor in a fight. It's about skills and powers and tactical as well as never to be forgotten environment. Don't forget batman defeated sups and he's human and was in his 50's. And regaurding strength alone aquaman is nearly as strong as him on land and its also reinforced in the game injustice. in a clash sequence of AM and Sups aquaman states, "Im as strong as you are" and superman states "Almost".

I'm talking about new52 version to make it easier but real early version of AM had him extremely strong also and had flight abilities. But lets stick to new 52 he can't fly (but jumps like a mofo) & no water hand... Now underwater is a whole new animal aquaman has Atleast 2X his strength. It really hasnt found a limit yet. So I doubt highly sups will win in water it's just not happening. He has to bring him out of water and then still the fight won't be easy but I say he wins then.

Aquaman:" Father Neptune! Grant me the strength to vanquish the foes of Atlantis! --And to protect the Kingdom of the Seven Seas! THY WILL BE DONE!" ...printed in the Superman: Our Worlds at War trade paperback

Lets not forget aquaman has gods that he don't like using but they protect him and has come to his aid. If push came to shove if he ask and is in dire need Neptune and/OR poseidon will grant AM god level abilities and god abilities supersede any superheros superhuman abilities.

#37 Posted by homicidalmaniac (6476 posts) - - Show Bio
#39 Edited by homicidalmaniac (6476 posts) - - Show Bio
#40 Posted by RealKing95 (25 posts) - - Show Bio

@irvgotti: If you are refering to the dark knight rises, everybody knows that the movie is non canon. Also even if it was canon, that superman was weak af! He was almost killed by a nuke, and even then he had the power to kill batman but he didnt want to because he worried about his health. In all honesty whats stopping a bloodlust superman from speedblitzing batman or aquaman from just running up to one of them and ripping their heart out fatality style?(Note superman can move so fast that he cannot be seen). Now i agree that aquaman could beat superman if he had help,prep time, and kryptonite, but without it I think supes could just he the ocean with his heat vision or create a hurricane with his superbreath or freeze it.

#41 Edited by NoBody134 (282 posts) - - Show Bio

Superman makes him his bitch

#42 Edited by SupermanGringo (2 posts) - - Show Bio

Of COURSE Aquaman wins.

  • Weakness of Superman is magic. Aquaman has magical powers.
  • Aquaman can control all animals in the ocean. Superman is an animal (humans and kryptonians are animals), so if he enters the ocean, Aquaman can control him. Even if Superman refuses to enters the ocean, Aquaman can control the ocean and cover Superman with water, so fuk, yeah.
  • Aquaman can summon Ctulhu. If that is not enough (and that should be moooore than enough, because Ctulhu is a primordial), he can summon a Kaiju. Or a thousand Kaijus, provided they've already entered from the other dimension where they live, but as the hand of water can open portals to other dimensions, Aquaman can get bored of throwing Kaijus at Superman, including Doomsday (which looks to me like a Kaiju).
  • Hand of water can handle water. Superman is made of water. Therefore Aquaman can make Superman explode from inside. Or dehydrate him to death.
  • Aquaman trident is indestructible and can make Superman bleed. So, he can bled Superman to death. The Trident can freeze anything, so Aquaman can bleed Superman while he immobilizes Superman by freezing him to absolute zero. He does not because Aquaman's good. Superman, therefore, lives by the mercy of Aquaman.
  • Superman has kidneys. Therefore Aquaman, being able to condense water, can give Superman a gigantic kidney stone, which wouldn't be lethal but apparently (or so I've heard) is worse than having a baby. If Superman feels he's having a baby he would die of shame.
  • Aquaman has an navy, an army and an air force. He's a famous tactician. On the other hand, Superman is a farmer from Kansas. Let me guess: Aquaman can beat him on tactics and basic math.
  • Aquaman has such good reflexes that he can avoid objects than go as fast as light (he can avoid lighting). So, there is NO WAY for Superman to hit him.
  • Aquaman has a girlfriend. Superman doesn't. Aquaman has a MAGIC girlfriend. Superman has not been able to get laid. So, Superman is a frustrated, irritable man. If Aquaman taunts Superman on this subject, Superman will die of anger.
  • Aquaman is rich. Superman is a poor fukd journalist. So Aquaman can get a contract on Superman's head with the Colombian mafia, the Russian mafia and other assorted mafias. Do not forget the Khazak mafia or the Ndraghetta. Do not forget the Italian Americans nor the industrial military mafia or the Colombian, Dominican and Honduran armies. If you ask me, all those mafias cannot kill Superman but surely they can kidnap Olsen and Lane.
  • Aquaman can extract gold, uranium and anything from oceans, not forgetting deuterium. So, he's more than rich. However, the most important element he can extract from water is Kryptonite. So Superman is the bitch of Aquaman.
  • Aquaman can jump five miles without breaking a freaking sweat. This means he can fly (because Superman flies by jumping). This means that Aquaman can dance better than Superman because magic. So, in a disco fight, the only important kind of fight, Superman is going to die of shame.
  • Aquaman has an IQ of a gazillion. Superman is a farmer from Kansas (did I already mention that?).
  • Superman has a better suit, but Aquaman doesn't have that stupid curl in his freaking hair. So, Aquaman wins there too.
  • Superman has no belt. So Aquaman can take his belt out and spank Superman. Superman cannot spank Aquaman which is kind of disturbingly OK.
  • Aquaman dominates 70% of the world surface. Superman dominates 30% of the world surface. So, fuk yeah.
  • Superman has a polar fortress. Aquaman has a tropical sea fortress. So, yeah, Aquaman wins on vacation time, too.
  • Superman has not been able to defeat Lex Fuking Luthor even when he has been sometimes in a wheelchair. Aquaman can defeat everybody by magic including alien gigantic muppets, ferrets, wizards, explosive china men, pretty much everything.
  • Aquaman doesn't depend on the color of the freaking sun. He depends on water, and water is fundamental for life. So, every living person, alien or animal would need Aquaman to live.
  • Aquaman has better bling: his suit is made of gold. How cool is that?
  • Aquaman is a friend of everybody including Octopi. Superman is friend with himself and Batman who has only a gay friend (Robin). How suspicious is that? Not that I have anything against that.
  • Superman city is in a bottle. Aquaman city is under the sea. The Beatles would love to live with Aquaman (I'd like to live under the sea, in an octopuss garden with you...)
  • Aquaman has parents. Superman is an orphan. So, if Superman beats Aquaman, he can be sued as a bully.
  • Superman can fly in space only as long as he can hold his breath. So, he can be under water only as he can hold his breath. So Aquaman only has to send sardines to fight Superman until he drowns.
  • Superman cannot see through lead. Aquaman lives in the ocean where there is lead. So, Superman cannot see Aquaman under enough water.
  • Kryptonite reacts under water. So, Aquaman can basically create IEDs against Superman if he concetrates underwater Kryptonite.
  • Smallville suks. Atlantis is the summit of pimp.

QED.

#43 Posted by generator2000 (972 posts) - - Show Bio

@supermangringo: You can't be serious. If Superman wanted to, he'd just cut Aquaman in half from outer space with his heat vision.

#44 Edited by SupermanGringo (2 posts) - - Show Bio

Dear Generator 2000, you have not heard of the Leidenfrost effect? You should. If you do, you will reailze that water shields you against heat, so fuk yeah, Aquaman wins on that.

I already explained (patience, patience) that Aquaman can avoid lighting. If Superman uses laser vision and he's in space, how in heavens can he hit Aquaman? Geostationary satellites take tenths of a second to reach Earth. Puhleeze. In that time Aquaman can go under water to Atlantis, take a nap and come back to laugh hard into Superman's face.

Moreover, Aquaman can control Superman with telepathy so Superman cannot even wish to cut Aquaman in half.

Not to mention that Aquaman wife is a Queen. Does Superman really (really!) wants to get a Queen angry? And make her a widow? After losing a son? On the other hand Superman is single. Who gives a fuk about a single man? How would Superman seem to people after the Daily Planet publishes "Superman makes a Queen a widow"? Even Loise Lane would leave Superman to his superhand and nothing more.

On top of that, Superman is a good guy. He has morals. Aquaman doesn't give a rat behind for morals (he destroyed Western Europe because he had no moral restraint, read your comics, people!). So, Superman is like the Justin Bieber of superheroes, while Aquaman is like the Honey Badger, so who would like Justin Bieber to win in a fight? Raise your hands if you dare, you Superman beliebers.

#45 Posted by Carter_esque (6447 posts) - - Show Bio

This ^^^ look is intended for anyone who thinks that Aquaman stands a chance against Superman above water.

#46 Posted by Dratini1331 (6922 posts) - - Show Bio

Just because I didn't post it before:

Aquaman needs to be mighty careful not to make him mad...

#47 Posted by tcampbell (1 posts) - - Show Bio

People please realize if the person doesn't have Kryptonite they stand little chance against Superman. I don't even know why this is ALWAYS such a debate. You wanna talk Aquaman - somebody said something about water shielding you from heat...well not if the oceans are BOILING FROM FREAKIN HEATVISION or frozen from cool breath! Let's look at superspeed. You can't hit what you can't catch. Somebody else said something about Batman and The Dark Knight....I crack up laughing when I see that movie because Superman could have ended that fight in 3 seconds flat but he was trying to reason with Batman. I just don't get why people will always look at other heros to defeat Superman and forget that Superman is naturally ARMED out the ass! Even Kryptonite doesn't kill him right away. It only weakens him.

#48 Edited by Fallschirmjager (14715 posts) - - Show Bio

As usual no one considers the fact that Aquaman, can and has mindraped Superman.

Feel free to bring up the typical "speedblitz" argument too, despite the fact that Superman is in-character.

And we haven't even touched the water hand, which is magical and can hurt Superman.

#49 Edited by son_of_tomorrow (493 posts) - - Show Bio

@supermangringo said:

Dear Generator 2000, you have not heard of the Leidenfrost effect? You should. If you do, you will reailze that water shields you against heat, so fuk yeah, Aquaman wins on that.

I already explained (patience, patience) that Aquaman can avoid lighting. If Superman uses laser vision and he's in space, how in heavens can he hit Aquaman? Geostationary satellites take tenths of a second to reach Earth. Puhleeze. In that time Aquaman can go under water to Atlantis, take a nap and come back to laugh hard into Superman's face.

Moreover, Aquaman can control Superman with telepathy so Superman cannot even wish to cut Aquaman in half.

Not to mention that Aquaman wife is a Queen. Does Superman really (really!) wants to get a Queen angry? And make her a widow? After losing a son? On the other hand Superman is single. Who gives a fuk about a single man? How would Superman seem to people after the Daily Planet publishes "Superman makes a Queen a widow"? Even Loise Lane would leave Superman to his superhand and nothing more.

On top of that, Superman is a good guy. He has morals. Aquaman doesn't give a rat behind for morals (he destroyed Western Europe because he had no moral restraint, read your comics, people!). So, Superman is like the Justin Bieber of superheroes, while Aquaman is like the Honey Badger, so who would like Justin Bieber to win in a fight? Raise your hands if you dare, you Superman beliebers.

@supermangringo said:

Of COURSE Aquaman wins.

  • Weakness of Superman is magic. Aquaman has magical powers.
  • Aquaman can control all animals in the ocean. Superman is an animal (humans and kryptonians are animals), so if he enters the ocean, Aquaman can control him. Even if Superman refuses to enters the ocean, Aquaman can control the ocean and cover Superman with water, so fuk, yeah.
  • Aquaman can summon Ctulhu. If that is not enough (and that should be moooore than enough, because Ctulhu is a primordial), he can summon a Kaiju. Or a thousand Kaijus, provided they've already entered from the other dimension where they live, but as the hand of water can open portals to other dimensions, Aquaman can get bored of throwing Kaijus at Superman, including Doomsday (which looks to me like a Kaiju).
  • Hand of water can handle water. Superman is made of water. Therefore Aquaman can make Superman explode from inside. Or dehydrate him to death.
  • Aquaman trident is indestructible and can make Superman bleed. So, he can bled Superman to death. The Trident can freeze anything, so Aquaman can bleed Superman while he immobilizes Superman by freezing him to absolute zero. He does not because Aquaman's good. Superman, therefore, lives by the mercy of Aquaman.
  • Superman has kidneys. Therefore Aquaman, being able to condense water, can give Superman a gigantic kidney stone, which wouldn't be lethal but apparently (or so I've heard) is worse than having a baby. If Superman feels he's having a baby he would die of shame.
  • Aquaman has an navy, an army and an air force. He's a famous tactician. On the other hand, Superman is a farmer from Kansas. Let me guess: Aquaman can beat him on tactics and basic math.
  • Aquaman has such good reflexes that he can avoid objects than go as fast as light (he can avoid lighting). So, there is NO WAY for Superman to hit him.
  • Aquaman has a girlfriend. Superman doesn't. Aquaman has a MAGIC girlfriend. Superman has not been able to get laid. So, Superman is a frustrated, irritable man. If Aquaman taunts Superman on this subject, Superman will die of anger.
  • Aquaman is rich. Superman is a poor fukd journalist. So Aquaman can get a contract on Superman's head with the Colombian mafia, the Russian mafia and other assorted mafias. Do not forget the Khazak mafia or the Ndraghetta. Do not forget the Italian Americans nor the industrial military mafia or the Colombian, Dominican and Honduran armies. If you ask me, all those mafias cannot kill Superman but surely they can kidnap Olsen and Lane.
  • Aquaman can extract gold, uranium and anything from oceans, not forgetting deuterium. So, he's more than rich. However, the most important element he can extract from water is Kryptonite. So Superman is the bitch of Aquaman.
  • Aquaman can jump five miles without breaking a freaking sweat. This means he can fly (because Superman flies by jumping). This means that Aquaman can dance better than Superman because magic. So, in a disco fight, the only important kind of fight, Superman is going to die of shame.
  • Aquaman has an IQ of a gazillion. Superman is a farmer from Kansas (did I already mention that?).
  • Superman has a better suit, but Aquaman doesn't have that stupid curl in his freaking hair. So, Aquaman wins there too.
  • Superman has no belt. So Aquaman can take his belt out and spank Superman. Superman cannot spank Aquaman which is kind of disturbingly OK.
  • Aquaman dominates 70% of the world surface. Superman dominates 30% of the world surface. So, fuk yeah.
  • Superman has a polar fortress. Aquaman has a tropical sea fortress. So, yeah, Aquaman wins on vacation time, too.
  • Superman has not been able to defeat Lex Fuking Luthor even when he has been sometimes in a wheelchair. Aquaman can defeat everybody by magic including alien gigantic muppets, ferrets, wizards, explosive china men, pretty much everything.
  • Aquaman doesn't depend on the color of the freaking sun. He depends on water, and water is fundamental for life. So, every living person, alien or animal would need Aquaman to live.
  • Aquaman has better bling: his suit is made of gold. How cool is that?
  • Aquaman is a friend of everybody including Octopi. Superman is friend with himself and Batman who has only a gay friend (Robin). How suspicious is that? Not that I have anything against that.
  • Superman city is in a bottle. Aquaman city is under the sea. The Beatles would love to live with Aquaman (I'd like to live under the sea, in an octopuss garden with you...)
  • Aquaman has parents. Superman is an orphan. So, if Superman beats Aquaman, he can be sued as a bully.
  • Superman can fly in space only as long as he can hold his breath. So, he can be under water only as he can hold his breath. So Aquaman only has to send sardines to fight Superman until he drowns.
  • Superman cannot see through lead. Aquaman lives in the ocean where there is lead. So, Superman cannot see Aquaman under enough water.
  • Kryptonite reacts under water. So, Aquaman can basically create IEDs against Superman if he concetrates underwater Kryptonite.
  • Smallville suks. Atlantis is the summit of pimp.

QED.

#50 Edited by Justthatkid (2356 posts) - - Show Bio

Just because I didn't post it before:

Aquaman needs to be mighty careful not to make him mad...

Wheres this from 0.0 and Its not that clear so who is that?