Animal Battle: Hippo vs. Giraffe

Animals are fighting to protect their young.

All animals are in 100 % condition.

All sizes are the highest-end of average. If you can't picture this, average is fine.

Death is savage and I don't see why they would have to kill each other, so a hard KO is fine.

1. 1-on-1. Battle takes place in Africa. Starting distances are 10 feet and both animals start visible. Takes place in a jungle/marsh and the Hippo is fully hydrated as is the Giraffe.

2. 3-on-3. Takes place in an African swamp with a small lake, but Giraffe's won't enter the water, same starting distance and location.

Vs.

Who is the deadliest creature between a striker who can shatter a Lion's skull or the biter with a bite force of 1821 psi?

Z'

Hippos stomp

Giraffes can shatter lions' skulls? That's cool. I'm pretty sure hippo still wins, but it might be closer than I first thought

Yup.

Z'

...............

@z___: you should do rhino vs hippo, we were debating that at school, I would do it but I don't want to steal your thing

That's absolutely fine if you want to do one, but I believe there's already been a debate on that and the Hippo would win.

Z'

Hippo handily IMO.

Jmarshmallow

Thanks for posting guys. Be aware the Giraffe is more agile. Although one trip would be it's doom, in many documentations there's proof that the Giraffe can decapitate a Lion with just a kick.

Z'

The giraffe has a chance because hippos are typically slower and smaller. This would make them susceptible

to attacks like hard kicks. The giraffe can also run laps around the hippo, which would make it harder for the hippo to hurt the giraffe.

Hippo stomps. Those things are aggressive as hell. Not to mention the less aggressive females are able bite at 1821 psi.

The Giraffe would probably have the advantage due to it's sheer size, and it's powerful kicks and head smash; can definetely hurt or kill the Hippo.

Bearing in mind, the Hippo wouldn't even be taller than it's legs, the most it could do; would be to charge at it, or bite it's leg.

@jmarshmallow: Hippo>Giraffe>Chew force batman>>>>>Wally West>>>>>>Everyone else>>>>DSS

'am I right?

Fixed!

Now you're right!

Jmarshmallow

Double fixed, and prepared for rustled jimmies.

Triple fixed!

Jmarshmallow

Hippo ftw.

Im a big kid now

Jiraffe speed blitzes with a million imp (k?) before hippo could blink.

Hippo stomps

@jmarshmallow:

@jmarshmallow said:

@thanofleeze said:

@jmarshmallow said:

@johnfrank120 said:

@jmarshmallow: Spider-Man>>>>>>Wolverine>>>Batman>>>>>>>>Wally West>Jackson>>>>>>>Hippo>>>>>>Giraffe>>>>>>>>>Everyone else>>>>>DSS, who is SHEEETT

'am I right?

Fixed!

Now you're right!

Jmarshmallow

Double fixed, and prepared for rustled jimmies.

Triple fixed!

Jmarshmallow

Quadruple fixed.

*slowly backs away*

Please. Hippos are the most dangerous animal in the world. Bar none.

I don't think either stomps here. It'd be a good fight if it were to happen.

Z'

Hippo

Giraffe stomps. The size, the speed and the leg strength alone can destroy them.

^ lol.

OT: Hippo laughs off a kick to the face from a giraffe (which adolescent rhinos can casually tank) then proceeds to tear it apart.

Hippo, Giraffes have little ways of defending themselves.

hippo break the legs apart

I would bet my money on the hippo undoubtedly. With a jaw that can be opened 180 degrees, incisor teeth 0,30 meters and 4 inches long, canine teeth the same and 8 inches and a bite force of 2.000 PSI, the giraffe stands no chance. With one bite, a hippo can split a small boat in two. Hippo is one animal that crocodiles fear. Giraffe kicks are soft in case if compared to the hippo's canine teeth.

Armor plated and Bad temper FTW...

@cosmic_reign: Gloria stomps Melman, haha.

@clint_eastwood:

Lol 😆

Throw a neurolink chip in the giraffe and give me admin permission and I could stomp a herd of hippos. It is essentially playing Dhalsim vs E. Honda tactics

@six-deuce: Not sure if you're just joking or not but. This is not even remotely close. Hippos are one of the most dangerous land animals second only to elephants. The average hippo weighs 1.496 kg compared to 1.179 kg of the average giraffe. They can run up to 30 km/h. A charge alone would break the giraffe's legs. They also have skin that is 2 inches thick. That's incredibly thick and offers tremendous protection. Their top incisors grow to be 0.48 meters long. The bite strength of a male hippo is unknown because they are too aggressive for researchers to test but female ones has a bite strength of 816 kg. It's an absolute stomp for the hippo.

@clint_eastwood: Obviously you have never seen a neurolink-equipped giraffe in action.

@six-deuce: I really doubt the giraffe stands much chance. Sure, it can stop on a lion but a giraffe weighs 1.133 kg to 2.041 kg and a lion is what, 136 kg to 226 kg? Hippos are pretty much on par with the giraffe weight class wise and they're very dangerous. I can easily see the giraffe being knocked over or having its legs broken, and at that point, the fight is over.

@clint_eastwood: ahh, now I see. Your use of the metric system evidences your inability to properly wargame this out sir. The top speed of a common hippo is purported to be 30 Miles per hour, whereas an average specimen of giraffe is closer to 40mph. Given the enormous reach advantage, speed advantage, human tactical control, and what even someone who thinks along the line of centimeters and millimeters must admit is a real likelihood of damage with a well placed kick…..well, that is game, set, match good sir.

Edit: furthermore I am unwilling to concede that I could not also defeat a hippo with a broken-legged giraffe…there are still multiple paths to victory….use of the giraffe’s venom for instance.

@six-deuce: If it was a full on bloodlusted fight, I just don't think a giraffe stands much of a chance against a hippo. However if it were just a normal encounter, a giraffe would probably run away quite easily; given that humans have outrunned hippos on land, I'd say that a giraffe has a pretty good chance of getting away safely. Edit; Actually now that I think about it, there is actually a very small chance for a giraffe to hurt (but probably not kill) a hippo. If the giraffe has its rear facing the hippo's side and it just kicked, that would be a pretty devastating blow. I'm sure it would kill a man, I think it could kill lions and I'm reasonably sure that even a hippo would hurt from that. After this first move though, all a giraffe could do is probably run away. The teeth are still too dangerous and I'm not sure if such 1 kick could completely take out a hippo. In fact yeah. Hippo takes this one 10/10. Hippo is way too solid to stomp out and those teeth are brutal. Those twiggy legs are just asking to get fucked up. Hippo 99/100. Hippos are nature's Abrams. Walking monsters that a giraffe just does not have skeletal structure and traits to defeat it. Giraffe venom? Never heard about "giraffe venom", mate.

I could of course be wrong but I'd bet on the giraffe. Those kicks are nasty.

@clint_eastwood: humans outrunning a hippo? Interesting…assuming this is not anecdotal, it highlights yet another deficiency of the hippo. Namely it’s low morale…if a hippo were truly motivated it should be physically capable of running down such a comparatively feeble creature. A neurolink-equipped giraffe controlled by yours truly has no such weaknesses. I like your comparison of the hippo to an Abrams tank as it is easily countered by an A-10 Thunderbolt for all the exact same advantages that an neurolink equipped giraffe has over the ponderous yet powerful hippo. Good day sir.

@six-deuce: The hippo would try to scare the giraffe off first. If that didn't worked the hippo would bite one of the giraffe's legs clean off (or at least break it beyond repair) and the giraffe would bleed to death. The hippo handily takes this. Edit; Also, cook some spaghetti and throw it in your deactivated account friend's face. That's what I do when people say things like a giraffe can beat a hippo.

@deactivated-635ce70da7703: Hell no! Thank God, your account is deactivated.

@clint_eastwood: interesting, are these some primordial strain of svelte and speedy hippo that you theorize existed at some point? How in the living hell is a creature so pathetically squat ever going to close quarters on something far faster, with a tremendous reach advantage and has beyond human level tactical intelligence? This ends with a fat ,moist ,gray corpse with a hoof-sized hole between it’s ribs. 🍝