Round 1:
lol anyone on team 1 can easily solo the Bat family. Since Darkseid's ma favorite on team 1, I'll let him do it:
Batgirl tries ta hurt Darkseid by kickin' him like a bloody fu**in' idiot, all she does is breakin' her own foot an' then Darkseid picks her up by the head an' literary rips her apart with his monstrous strength. Then Batman throws a batarang at Darkseid, but it just bounces off'a him an' Darkseid says "pathetic, foolish humans!" an' jumps towards Batman an' kills him with a haymaker to the face, an' literally smashes his skull to bits. Then Robin an' Nightwing tries ta take him from behind, but Darkseid just grabs 'em when they're close enough an' face-plants their faces into each other which squashes their skulls.
Round 2:
Darkseid or Thanos solos. I'll let Thanos do it now.
Storm tries ta use the clouds an' tries ta thunder dafuq outta Thanos, but Thanos just laughs at her pathetic attempt to hurt him an' uses his matter manipulation an' turns the thunders at Storm an' KO's her. Then Cyclops blasts Thanos, but it doesn't even tickle Thanos an' then Thanos mindra*es Cyclops an' KO's him. Then Colossus jumps towards Thanos an' punches him in the face, but then Thanos just does an evil smile an' says "you call yourself strong, oaf? I'M STRENGTH PERSONIFIED!" an' grabs Colossus an' lifts him above his head an' does a backbreaker on him, an' then grabs his face an' snaps his neck like a matchstick. Then he throws Colossus's dead corpse away. Then Thanos sees that both Xavier an' Jean Grey tries ta mindra*e him, too bad fer 'em he mindra*es 'em back an' KO's 'em. Then Wolverine comes outta nowhere with his claws out an' tries ta slice Thanos, but Thanos grabs his arms an' squeezes 'em till they break, an' then he body slams Wolverine. Wolverine's badly injured, but he heals an' says "nice try, bub!" an' then tries ta claw him again but Thanos uses his matter manipulation an' turns Wolverine's claws into sticks. Then Thanos laughs at Wolverine an' turns his entire adamantium skeleton inta sh** with his matter manipulation. Then Ice Man freezes Thanos but Thanos just breaks out with his brute strength, an' then he turns Ice Man's ice into pi** with his matter manipulation an' then Ice Man falls down to Thanos an' Thanos uppercuts him when he's close enough an' kills him. Then Rogue comes from behind an' absorbs Thanos' powers, an' pim* smacks Thanos which hurts him, an' then she tries ta punch him, but he grabs her fist an' body slams her, an' then he says "you might've absorbed my powers, female….but you're far too foolish to use them well". An' then he uses his matter manipulation again an' turns her into bullish**.
Round 3:
Darkseid an' Thanos can solo this one too. But now, let's let everyone have their fun.
Iron Man flies around like everyday stuff but Magneto uses his magnetic powers an' slams him to the ground. Then Darkseid comes an' punches Iron Man at the chest, an' that one punch alone smashes thru both the armor an' Iron Man's chest, which kills Stark. Then Hulk jumps at the back of Darkseid an' actually tries ta hold him an' Darkseid says "foolhardy lout!" an' breaks Hulk's grip, grabs Hulk's face an' body slams him an' says "your puny strength is NOTHING compared to DARKSEID'S!". An' then Darkseid picks Hulk up an' bearhugs him, an' after like 5 seconds Hulk's back is broken. Then Darkseid stomps at Hulk's face deep into the ground. Then Hawkeye tries ta shoot Dr. Doom with an explosive arrow, but Dr. Doom has a mystical force-field around him. Then he laughs at Clint's pathetic attempt to harm Doom, an' then Doom blasts dafuq outta Hawkeye with a mystical blast, an' then Black Widow shouts "CLINT!!! D=" an' goes ta check him. Then Hawkeye says "s-s-silly b-b-bitch….don't be concerned abo-about me…l-look b-behind!" an' Thanos is there doin' an evil smile an' says "hello, human…" an' Black Widow kicks Thanos's knee an' she just breaks her own foot. Thanos says "foolhardy human, you cannot hope to harm one such as Thanos!" an' grabs her head an' breaks her neck with a sudden twist. Then Cap'n America goes for Darkseid, an' he pim* smacks Darkseid with his shield. Darkseid says "your attempt to harm me is laughable and idiotic, little one…." an' then he punches Cap'n America in the face with a straight right an' kills him, an' literally smashes thru his skull. Then Thor shows up an' smashes Darkseid into a wall with Mjolnir, but then Magneto uses his magnetic powers an' throws Thor into a buildin' an' brings it down on him. Then Thor returns but Darkseid blasts him with the full force of the Omega Beams, an' reduces Thor to ashes after a minute or two. Wasp shows up but Thanos kills her by grabbin' her while she's unaware an' squeezes an' he immediately squashes her. Hank then shows up an' turns himself into Giant Man an' becomes 100 feet tall, an' punches Darkseid to the ground. But Darkseid then grabs Pym's fist an' body slams him. Then Darkseid unleashes the full force of the Omega Beams at him an' reduces him to ashes. Then Hulk's healin' factor has healed his back, so he goes back to get revenge on Darkseid, but Darkseid grabs him by the throat an' says "FOOL! I can see your back has healed, but now I'm going to crush you into an even more useless condition then last time!" an' body slams Hulk an' charges the Omega Effect in his fists an' uses his enormous size, strength an' power combined with the Omega Effect an' flattens Hulk's face with one punch.
Round 4:
Batman throws a batarang at Darkseid, but it just bounces off'a him an' Darkseid looks back an' says "WHAT???!?!!! Didn't I crush you already, little man??!! Oh, well….this time I'll make sure this is the last time you return, by removing your blasted physique from the very face of ALL EXISTENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" an' blasts Batman with the Omega Beams, an' reduces Batman to ashes. Then Superman yells "DARKSEID!!!!!" an' Darkseid says "that….that voice….I've heard it before….is it who I think it is…?" an' looks behind him an' says "KAL-EL! It's been some time…." an' when Superman's close enough, Darkseid smashes Superman to the ground with a double hammerfist. Then Darkseid stomps Superman's face to the ground, picks him up, punches him in the gut an' body slams him. Superman is badly hurt, but slowly gets up an' Darkseid says "yet again your courage continues to impress me, Kryptonian….but you're too foolhardy to see that you and your pathetic team of superheroes, are all FINISHED!" but Superman punches Darkseid into a buildin', flies towards him, grabs his legs in the air an' body slams him. Then Superman says "you gonna talk, or are you gonna fight?". Then Magneto grabs Superman in the air with his magnetic powers, throws him towards Thanos an' Thanos pim* smacks Superman into a truck. Thanos says "I've heard about you, Kryptonian…..and I've heard you're one of the most powerful being's in the Universe….but your power is useless due to your foolish morals! Pathetic, all this power, wasted on useless HEROISM! After this, you shall bend to MY WILL!" an' picks up Superman an' punches him into a buildin'. Superman then flies back an' says "you sound just like Darkseid….but worse" an' punches Thanos to the ground. Then Green Lantern attacks Doom, but Doom blasted him down to the ground, an' then Darkseid picks Green Lantern up an' crushes his ring with his bare hands (Darkseid's done this before) an' then he kills Green Lantern with a punch to the gut, an' smashes thru his gut. Then Wonder Woman comes outta nowhere an' drop kicks Darkseid in the face, but she couldn't hurt him (she couldn't hurt Pre-Crisis Mongul, how's she gonna hurt Pre-Crisis Darkseid?) then Darkseid grabs her leg an' body slams her. Then he grabs her backhead an' face-plants her till she bleeds, picks her up by the throat an' says "time to die, champion of the Amazons". An' he strangles her an' blasts her in the face with the full force of the Omega Beams at her face. Eventually Diana's head is melt down an' there aint nothin' left of it. Then he see's Wally West, an' he is quite aware of Flash's Speed Force, an' he charges the Omega Effect in his fists an' pounds the ground with a double hammerfist, causin' a huuuuge earthquake an' a huuuuuge shockwave too an' that knocks dafuq outta Flash, an' Flash is KO'd (he didn't die though, cuz his Speed Force gave him atleast enough durability to survive it, but he got badly injured).That didn't only hurt him though, it fu**ed up all the other heroes, but since the other's got high-tier super durability unlike Flash, they didn't get KO'd an' can continue fightin'. But Thanos turns Martian Manhunter into stone with his matter manipulation, an' Cap'n Marvel flies towards Thanos an' Thanos grabs him by the throat with his left hand, then Supes tries ta punch Thanos but Thanos just pim* smacks Supes outta the way with his right hand, an' then he see's Cap'n Atom comin' towards him an' he throws Cap'n Marvel at him, an' Thanos says "ENOUGH OF THIS BLOODSHED!!!!!" an' turns 'em all into slime with his matter manipulation.
Round 5:
Magneto holds Suprman Prime down to the ground with the full force of his magnetic powers, Dr Doom blasts dafuq outta Superman Prime with his mystical blasts at the same time (which badly hurts Supes cuz he's weak against magic), an' then Thanos blasts dafuq outta him with his energy manipulation at the same time, an' Darkseid blasts dafuq outta him with the full force of the Omega Beams at the same time. Ultimate gang-bang attack. Eventually kills Supes.
Round 6:
Well, I say Darkseid erases Silver Surfer from existence with the full force of the Omega Beams. I dunno much 'bout Tyrant though, but let's say they use the Superman Prime tactic from round 5 an' that'll probably take 'im down since he's depowered.
Round 7:
I'm guessin' Odin's got the Odin Force. I think this awesome team of villains stops here. I think that Odin with the Odin force, an' Zeus, are both just too tough even for these dudes, especially together.
Zeus goes fer Doom, an' Doom puts up a force-field, but Zeus charges his energy manipulation in his fists an' his great mass, strength an' raw power combined with the energy manipulation smashes the force-field ta bits with one punch, an' then he manhandles Doom an' body slams him to the ground like Brock Lesnar an' kills Doom, an' every bone in Doom's body is pulverized. As for Magneto, he lifts Zeus up to the air with his magnetic powers, but Zeus thunderclaps which knocks Magneto down an' kills him. Darkseid goes up ta Odin an' tries ta punch him, but he has a nigh-impenetrable force-field around him thanks to the Odin Force, an' it's tough enough to take even Darkseid's blows, an' then he goes an' punches Darkseid which knocks dafuq outta Darkseid. Then Darkseid tries ta kick him while on the ground, but Odin grabs his feet an' body slams him, then Darkseid gets pi**ed dafuq off an' throws gorilla punches at Odin, but Odin's force-field protects him, but then Darkseid tries ta blast him with the full force of the Omega Beams, but Odin's force-field is too tough. Not even the Omega Beams can break thru it. Then Darkseid yells "COWARD! LEAVE YOUR FORCE-FIELD AND FACE DARKSEID, LORD OF APOKOLIPS!!!!!!!!" an' Odin says "fine" an' removes the force-field but blasts dafuq outta Darkseid with the Odin Force. He continues blastin' with full power till Darkseid's KO'd. Then Thanos shows up, an' Zeus an' Odin comes an' Odin punches Thanos at the left side 'a his face, an' Zeus at the right side at the same time with energy manipulation ampin' his hit. Thanos is now KO'd. The team gets beaten here. As much as I love 'em, not even they can beat Odin with the Odin Force AN' Zeus fightin' together.
I'm writin' in header 2 now so y'all see this, y'know there's a lotta cavemen out there. Usually I'd write how they'd fare in the remainin' rounds, but right now fu** it, I dont wanna create the longest Comic Vine comment of all time man.
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