Not sure what the main focus on the image is meant to be my friend? however I would recommend trying to draw a bit more from references of real life, and though this is a rough draft and just getting your ideas on paper, don't be ashamed about using an eraser until or grabbing a ruler to help give you those nice crisp lines to make this puppy pop. This is where your supposed to tinker and make mistakes in your draft, so get in there and get dirty.
The concept is on point, I really dig how your telling a story within a story. And the image shows your love for tagging and graffiti art throughout. ( you never just use one can…ever). Hope to see more of this type of work in the future, I think you got a winner with the 'Superstar' font with that S embossed in that star!
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