My Art - I need critiques

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Paul Render

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#1  Edited By Paul Render

Hello,
 
Here's some recent work by me. I'm currently open to working with people on projects. I prefer paying gigs, but am willing to listen to any offers. (email stuffph@hotmail.com)
 
 Looking for comments on these too, condemn or praise or just a big meh. Let me know, please!
 

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tonis

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#2  Edited By tonis
@Paul Render: fantastic material Paul, very well written and easy to follow. Flows nice and dramatically.
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Crazy Pan

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#3  Edited By Crazy Pan
@Paul Render: My only real problem is with the face and title text on Sunny Hills. The face seems a bit--meeehhh off. The text just looks awkward stretched like that. The coloring, lines, and text look great!
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Paul Render

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#4  Edited By Paul Render
@tonis: 
Hey thanks! All right !
The first two pages were written by writer partner Dino Caruso, so I won't take credit for his work there. 
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MuadDiab

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#5  Edited By MuadDiab

Really cool stuff. Colour stuff could use small bit of shading or variety with the colour maybe to jazz it up perhaps. 
Black and white could use several levels of shading maybe but tbh it all looks realy cool as is

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Paul Render

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#6  Edited By Paul Render
@Crazy Pan: 
Thanks for the critique. I see what you mean. 
The title design, I wasn't completely sure I liked.
And the face, I struggled with for whatever reason.  
 
Free editing help, I love it!
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tonis

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#7  Edited By tonis
@Paul Render said:
" @tonis:  Hey thanks! All right ! The first two pages were written by writer partner Dino Caruso, so I won't take credit for his work there.  "
then definitely let Dino know thumbs up. First thing I thought was how easy it was to read and relate, second thought was how well the panels went along with it.
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Crazy Pan

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#8  Edited By Crazy Pan
@Paul Render: Thank you for taking my words not as an insult but as an artist lol. A lot of folks here get angry if you say something constructive about their art. I would suggest for yours just revisiting the face, possibly google a few pictures of 3 quarter profile mugshots or something. As far as the title text goes, looking for a text that is already vertically stretched a bit can really help reduce the awkwardness of having to stretch text!
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travisvoeller

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#9  Edited By travisvoeller

the robots looked a little too cartoonish

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Hawkeye446

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#10  Edited By Hawkeye446

Wow, this is Great! I especially like the Middle work, the colours and penciling fit really well. Also the Black and white on the first Is quite Nice. One Critique though, on the "Sunny Hills" Cover, the face I find is a little odd, but besides that, this is really wonderful work! :D

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Paul Render

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#11  Edited By Paul Render
@Hawkeye446: So two nays on the face on the Sunny Hills cover. Definitely will be reworking that!
 
Travis, the robots were meant to be cartoonish as that page is from a kids superhero book I am working up. But do you mean awful when you say cartoonish, or just not realistic? Please explain.

Thanks for the comments everybody. Really really appreciate it.
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IcePrince_X

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#12  Edited By IcePrince_X

Love the narration of the 1st two pages.
The color choice for the first story fits and blends well with the story. Just the perfect combination. 
 
The last two panels lack a bit on the emphasis of the subject. I do appreciate the angles of the third page but a bit  more of foreshortening of certain body parts could have given it a more exciting look especially it is a fight scene.  
 
But you have good art style and mastery of your color medium. Great start and keep it up. 

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SteveRodgers

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#13  Edited By SteveRodgers

these are really good.

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DavidR

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#14  Edited By DavidR
@Paul Render: 
 
Nice page layouts, decent storytelling easy to read and understand. Maybe a little more impact in some of the action panels. Hard for me to give you a critique due to the fact that I don't know what direction you are going in. I can say work more on your anatomy but if your style is where you are comfortable with I may be giving advice in the wrong direction. Seeing that your faces and figures are inclined towards the cartoony it wouldn't be fair for me to say anything in regards to that. Overall there is a professional look to your work and you may not want to go in the direction of a more realistic feel to your art. Give me a better idea as to what you want pointers on and maybe I can help. Other than what I see as your style and storytelling I feel you are going in the right direction but practicing placement of muscle groups and more realistic faces would still help you even if your style remained where it is.
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Decept-O

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#15  Edited By Decept-O
@Paul Render:
Simply put, I like your animated style you have going here.  I can't offer critique because I am God awful with any "skills" I have, but I like what I see quite a bit.  Plenty of action, good flow like Tonis said.   I like the colors as well.  Please continue with your work, great stuff.
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tonis

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#16  Edited By tonis
@Decept-O said:
" @Paul Render: Simply put, I like your animated style you have going here.  I can't offer critique because I am God awful with any "skills" I have, but I like what I see quite a bit.  Plenty of action, good flow like Tonis said.   I like the colors as well.  Please continue with your work, great stuff. "
oh I wouldn't say God awful, I've seen quite a few hourglasses hiding in spandex I most definitely find quite skillful from you :)
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ssejllenrad

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#17  Edited By ssejllenrad

Sorry but I can't critique people that are better artists than me.
 
I would, however, praise you. Good job mate!

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travisvoeller

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#18  Edited By travisvoeller

i meant not realistic

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tonis

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#19  Edited By tonis
@travisvoeller said:
" i meant not realistic "
why would you expect realistic robots in something that is obviously a cartoon. That's not very realistic expectations ;)
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soundbite

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#20  Edited By soundbite

there's not much to say that hasn't already been said.  you're action and storytelling are very strong.  the proof is not needing the words to go with the action.  I like the style and it fits for the subject really well, but you got a little "boxy" in some portions of the anatomy, but it's kind of a signature of your style right now so I guess that's a judgement call.  I don't get the robot criticism either.  They look fine.
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Paul Render

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#21  Edited By Paul Render

Thanks again everyone, much appreciated.  You guys are breaking it down for me very plainly and I appreciate that.
 
Yeah anatomy is a weak point for me. Action scenes too are still a bit of a struggle also. I've been trying to establish an angular cartoony style, being a huge fan of guys like Bruce Timm, Mike Avon Oeming and others like that. And also because my realistic style really sucks.
 
I will post more pages soon, thanks again for looking, hell of a community here, I like it.

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Paul Render

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#22  Edited By Paul Render

Here's a quick character design I did for a project that never got off the ground.

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tonis

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#23  Edited By tonis
@Paul Render: ah, I lika lady with hips :)
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Paul Render

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#24  Edited By Paul Render

It was based on a real person, unlike the barbies we see in most comics. Heres some more designs using the typical comic book body shape.

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HarlequinKiss

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#25  Edited By HarlequinKiss

I love the style, clean and easy to understand, somewhat cartoony but not too crazy. I think it's great :D

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tonis

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#26  Edited By tonis
@Paul Render: I agree with Harley, it's clean and a balanced amount of cartoony but with more realistic female form. The white works especially well for her, but I also lika me a woman in black too :)
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Paul Render

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#27  Edited By Paul Render

Thanks guys for the comments! Really appreciate it.
 
Here's a sketch for characters on an upcoming project.

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And here's a pencils to finished page for an upcoming project
 
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tonis

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#28  Edited By tonis
@Paul Render: very cool looking project Paul, looks like it's gonna be a fun one. Really like that second character in the first pic. He reminds me of Black Adam, is he a good guy or a bad guy?
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Paul Render

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#29  Edited By Paul Render

His name is Omega and is a bad guy. The project is written by Mike Saltenberger and should be a fun dark twisted book. Thanks for looking Tonis.

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Xavier St. Cloud

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#30  Edited By Xavier St. Cloud
@HarlequinKiss said:
"I love the style, clean and easy to understand, somewhat cartoony but not too crazy. I think it's great :D "

Just what I was thinking... I love it aswell. Crisp and clean, somewhat cartoony but it does not give me childhood flash backs to sunday mornings.
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Paul Render

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#31  Edited By Paul Render

Some newer stuff, which I hope will be published somewhere soon, either online or not.

Also I have a favor to ask of all viewers, in efforts to improve and be the best I can be. In your opinion is my art publishable? Would you buy a comic with my art in it? Be honest, harsh or highly critical, whatever is your honest opinion. Please do not be nice for niceness sake.

Thanks!

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tonis

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#32  Edited By tonis
@Paul Render: sure, your material has publishing potential. Your strong on keeping the flow going in the panels and the conversation. That's a big plus in the story making department :)
Publishing these days is a lot different than it used to be, and the approach to generating profits is certainly a tricky beast. Selling physical books is getting harder and harder, and even selling the digital books can be even more difficult. For independent comic publishers I think the real advantage in the digital age will be that they can utilize a different profit model than in the past.

What this really means is that the artist/writers/publishers who establish a good presence online and bring in the traffic because they have good material and exposure will not be making their profits so much from selling books as they are from creating a online following. It helps to be backed by something like DC or Marvel but for the ambitious creator, it's not a requirement. Besides, if you make enough noise on your own, they end up coming to you wondering how to make the same traffic ;)
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soundbite

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#33  Edited By soundbite
@HarlequinKiss said:
I love the style, clean and easy to understand, somewhat cartoony but not too crazy. I think it's great :D

yeah, it's almost got a Hanna-Barbara Super Friends feel.
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ARMIV

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#34  Edited By ARMIV

I'm liking it! It's like others have said, clean and easy. But at the same time there is definite and obvious skill in you work.

Keep up the good job! 
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gorilla_girl

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#35  Edited By gorilla_girl

Okay, firstly, it's really good and it's publishable. You may want to improve your colouring some more, but it's up to you, maybe you just want to focus on pencilling & inking.
Anyhow, here's some criticism:  that shot with the dragon just doesn't work. if it's meant to be a splash page, it definitely needs more details. Now here's my opinion on how to improve the composition. For instance, you can add some clouds to show the space, and add more perspective to mark the scale. For example, instead of showing the whole lizard, you may show only part of it, like a head and a wing in the foreground in really dark tone, and then put that airship, in the stronger perspective and partly obscured by the clouds, in the middle ground. And then optionally throw in some background of your choice, like, dunno, a small cityscape. Also I definitely would go with a lower horizon, becaause from the point of view you chosen neither dragon, nor the airship look big. If it's an airship. I mean, I like the design, I guess it's just too futuristic for me to understand how the thing floats :)
Anyway, it's a good thing you want to improve. Keep it up, and I wish you the best of luck!