Constructive criticism please

Hey folks. It has been a while since I dove in and drew some comics. I have started a new technique and wanted to know if it is working. What do you think of these digital inks? Any suggestions on how to make them pop?

Gallery

@lukestonestudios:

Well here's a constructive criticism, your art looks awesome and you are very talented. Keep of the good work.

^_^

Also we need more of these.

well thank you very much.

@lukestonestudios. Hello, I don't really know from constructive criticism so I'm not entirely sure if that's what this is but I'll try to give you some for the first 8 images,

1st Image - top left frame the characters are sprinting toward the reader here. I don't know if it's technically accurate but sprinting characters are generally shown leaning into their run. The front character seems to be in a strange pose - looks a bit more like duck walking than running. His fist is toward the camera but it's extreme enlargement makes it seem almost larger than his head. (Considering the building isn't the size of a kennel then the extreme foreshortening is wrong.) The two point perspective seems to have placed the runners below the ground level of the building as well. Because the characters are touching in the frame it seems more like they are running together rather than involved in a chase.

- Middle left frame. and bottom left frame. The glasses wearing character is diving toward the runaway in this frame I'm guessing. The foreshortening works with in this frame but what might have worked better is a two shot with the chaser leaping toward the runaway and the runaway tearing the cover off the button (or just a single full body shot of the chaser in midair. The bottom frame you've enlarged the chaser's hand to a strange extreme again. Be good if you could somehow show the jolt the chaser feels here after running headlong into an apparently stationary hand with his neck. The runaway should be positioned to absorb the jolt of the impact otherwise he'll he knocked over. Won't he.

-right frame hard to see what's happening here. I'd assume the runaway is going to use the chaser's head to press the button. Maybe the runaway could have the chaser's leg as well as his neck to drive the chaser into the button or maybe use some form of jujitsu hip throw to turn the chaser upside down.

2nd image - Pretty dang good although the scratchy shading around the bottom of the explosion ball needs work. Also if it's the house that's exploding then maybe there could be some suggestion of that, The runaway's foot seems to be much larger than the chasers head in this frame. Some motion lines on the chaser to show were he's fallen from could also add something.

3rd image - 1st frame and 2nd frame would probably work better with their angles reversed so you could see the armoured guys face when he's shot

3rd and 4th frames great.

4th image - 1st split frame has the woman's eyes to high on her face, too small and too far apart. If you divide the front facing head from top to bottom into two halves, the eyes line up on the center line. If you break up the center line into fifths the eyes sit between the outside fifths and the central fifth. Below the center line to the chin, if you divide that space in half is where the bottom of the nose sits and between the nose line and the chin when divided in half is where you place the bottom of the bottom lip of the mouth. These proportions are the same for men and women although womens heads tend to be smaller than men's.

- bottom frame. When did the runaway take his guns out did he get them from the chaser if so why didn't you show that?? also you have to watch how you place or block character movement. In this panel they are quite well spaced and apparently walking in straight lines but in the next the girl is suddenly behind the runaway and much closer to him.

5th image - 1st frame. the blocking is wrong as I metioned and the gun firing which is the action in this scene is framed out.

- 2nd 3rd 4th frames Generally I don't think you are supposed to draw the shading around the bridge of womens noses. Her nose seems too long considerimg that is exactly between the eyes and chin despite her mouth being quite wide open which extends the length of the face. The back ground image seems a little difficult to distinguish.

6th image - cant really follow these panels. Is the guy with the knife in his kneck who was dropped on his head running at a guy who is going to flatten him again? Why isn't he sending those ninjas behind him in first?

7th image. - 1st frame. The perspective is off in this drawing. The chaser I imagine is on the ground being shot in the spine by the runaway but I only know that because I saw the previous frame.

- 2nd frame not bad . The hands haven't been so over enlarged in the foreshortening in this frame.

8th image - the runaway's left leg seems to be at an odd angle, the woman is in a very strange pose and her hand is too small. The background also needs more detail.

Thanks

You have an awesome hability to ink and set up shadows. I also like your work on anotamy. All I would say is keep perfecting these skills.

Also, my least favorite part were some of the faces. Careful where on the face you set up eyes nose and mouth (Page 4).

That is all. I really like your work!

I agree with @sora_thekey, The faces, the woman's in particular, were what I noticed the most. You just need to study faces or take more time on those areas.

Also, sometimes I feel like you almost leave out too much action. I understand that during scenes that are quick paced, an artist usually uses less dialog and stuff to make the scene go by faster, but I feel that you are almost leaving out entire panels, making the real action-heavy parts confusing. For example, on page seven, I am not sure how the small panel relates to the rest of the page.

That being said, your artwork is great, much better than mine. Keep up the great work!

Like what I see here, like the fact you are not afraid to use blacks to set the scene. I would offer that the pages that you establish a background are way stinger and more impactful then the ones where you use speed lined to draw the readers eye/ Can't wait to see more of this guy! Did he really just throw a bullet and kill a guy?! Stonecold Smooth if that is the case lol