#1 Edited by mikemaluk (62 posts) - - Show Bio
#2 Edited by RamsIllustrations (1120 posts) - - Show Bio

@mikemaluk:

Sorry I did not see this earlier, really good work!

Very nice story flow. Fun to look at and easy to follow. Good style, good job on the camera angles. The only things that I noticed and are minor, is the last figure on the first panel. Good position and overall I like it, really liked the progression from the previous running figures on the panel. Lift the leg up a bit, maybe redraw it so that it doesn't look like he's tripping on the actual panel line. The car rim also looks like it could be part of his heel. It's a little distracting and breaks what is a nice flow all around. Also the arm towards the back, the hand is a little small, yes it's at a distance but it looks a bit feminine due to the size. Not anything major but can be enhanced.

Really like the floating descending figures, nice depth good use of worms eye-view, well done!

On the page where they seem to be arguing the first three panels are repetitive. Try and be more creative with at least one of the panels, with the camera angle.

On the very last panel, nice impact but I was wondering if he was Plasticman? If he has an elastic face then it works, if not, it just doesn't look real. Remember the reader has to immerse themselves in the world you create, believability is key.

Great job man, good luck! :D

#3 Posted by ARMIV2 (8845 posts) - - Show Bio

This is looking really, really cool, man! The pencils are just freakin' sweet!

#4 Posted by mikemaluk (62 posts) - - Show Bio

@RamsIllustrations said:

@mikemaluk:

Sorry I did not see this earlier, really good work!

Very nice story flow. Fun to look at and easy to follow. Good style, good job on the camera angles. The only things that I noticed and are minor, is the last figure on the first panel. Good position and overall I like it, really liked the progression from the previous running figures on the panel. Lift the leg up a bit, maybe redraw it so that it doesn't look like he's tripping on the actual panel line. The car rim also looks like it could be part of his heel. It's a little distracting and breaks what is a nice flow all around. Also the arm towards the back, the hand is a little small, yes it's at a distance but it looks a bit feminine due to the size. Not anything major but can be enhanced.

Really like the floating descending figures, nice depth good use of worms eye-view, well done!

On the page where they seem to be arguing the first three panels are repetitive. Try and be more creative with at least one of the panels, with the camera angle.

On the very last panel, nice impact but I was wondering if he was Plasticman? If he has an elastic face then it works, if not, it just doesn't look real. Remember the reader has to immerse themselves in the world you create, believability is key.

Great job man, good luck! :D

Hey man, thank you so much for the awesome feedback and critique, really appreciate it.

Nicely put on the "trippin on the actual panel" didn´t saw that before, maybe if I´d put his foot over the the panel it could work, have to try it. I get what you say on his arm, it´s hard to make perspective and keep it all working, good point.

About the repetitive panels, well, when making the layouts I always try to make it interesting varying the angles and positions, but sometimes the dialogue just asks for something like this i guess. I think this was one of those cases. But yeah, maybe I could avoid that first one, since I kinda liked that sequence on the other two.

No he is not Plasticman, that is my manga influence working in there, i wanted a really powerful impact there, and I think manga is the king of impact, I guess the contrast could be a bit too much.

Again, thank you so much for your words.

#5 Posted by mikemaluk (62 posts) - - Show Bio

@ARMIV2 said:

This is looking really, really cool, man! The pencils are just freakin' sweet!

Hi,

Thank you so much for the kind words :)

#6 Posted by Jonny_Anonymous (34957 posts) - - Show Bio

This looks awesome!!!!!!!!1

#7 Posted by ARMIV2 (8845 posts) - - Show Bio

@mikemaluk said:

@ARMIV2 said:

This is looking really, really cool, man! The pencils are just freakin' sweet!

Hi,

Thank you so much for the kind words :)

You're very welcome! I really wanna see where this project of yours goes.

#8 Posted by mikemaluk (62 posts) - - Show Bio

@Jonny_Anonymous: Thanks a lot, glad you like it :D

#9 Posted by RamsIllustrations (1120 posts) - - Show Bio

@mikemaluk:

My pleasure, I hope you succeed, you are well on your way! :)

#10 Posted by mikemaluk (62 posts) - - Show Bio

@RamsIllustrations said:

@mikemaluk:

My pleasure, I hope you succeed, you are well on your way! :)

Thanks friend, appreciate it :)

#11 Posted by batkevin74 (11209 posts) - - Show Bio

@mikemaluk said:

Captain Hung-Over getting a serve from Super-Green Lantern-Man before the Captain's gf Mohawk Bitch clobbers SGLM for being an @ss! Nice