The Star Wars: Revenge of the Gipper wiki last edited by catfightfan on 06/28/14 02:17PM
View full history
Deadpool vs. Reagan...IN SPACE!
DO YOU NEED MORE THAN THAT?!?
Ben Franklin congratulates Deadpool on his defeat of Lincoln outside the ultimate fighting venue. A kid runs up and gushes that Deadpool is his favorite costumed freak. Deadpool initially blows the kid off but then turns and throws the kid his mask. The mask hits the kid right in his beaming face. When he pulls the mask down he realizes that it is covered in Deadpool's blood. He runs away shrieking about getting the blood off his face. Michael the Necromancer shows up and states that his meditations have produced information on Reagan's actions. Michael explains that his magic can get Deadpool up to Reagan but he won't be able to bring him back. Deadpool doesn't care; he figures SHIELD can have a shuttle ready to pick him up as soon as he's thwarted Reagan's space weapons plans.
Deadpool is teleported into the Russian nuclear space station. He is in a corridor with cages of monkeys to either side of him. One monkey points to a button that Deadpool pushes that opens the cages. Deadpool learns to never trust a space monkey; one speaks and orders the rest to kill Deadpool. Reagan uses the distraction to arm the nuclear warheads. Deadpool powers through the door (with killer monkeys in tow) and confronts Reagan. The dead presidents merely rips out the weapons control panel and pummels Deadpool with it. Deadpool hops back up and pulls his mystical sword, which Reagan very easily knocks away. Deadpool is left to resort to his regular swords and slices Reagan's belly open, exposing tons of jelly beans.
With Reagan occupied with his lost jelly beans, Deadpool finds the station's main controls and shifts the craft's position in space. He then hurls a killer monkey at Reagan, who has no problem ripping the head off to get back to fighting Deadpool. He gets pumped with bullets and mocks Deadpool's attempt to kill him with such a rudimentary weapon. Deadpool, however, wasn't just aiming for Reagan but also for the wall in the space station. Deadpool pushes Reagan into the wall and the pressure sucks Reagan's big body through six small holes. Deadpool then boards a small pod and heads for Earth. The small pod burns up in the atmosphere and Deadpool falls a very, very long way.
Later, in the helicarrier, Deadpool is reincorporated and being debriefed about what is left to accomplish. Michael and Benjamin teleport in and Michael says that he can track George Washington on the next time the president uses dark magic. Unfortunately, Washington holds Michael's tome of dark magic and can do the same thing. He tracks Michael to the helicarrier and teleports himself and Lyndon B. Johnson aboard to confront Deadpool. Deadpool once again has his mystical sword taken from him and he once again pumps a president full of lead. Washington, however, ends the skirmish by taking Agent Preston captive. He then breaks her neck. Deadpool gets his sword back and slices up Johnson and turns to get Washington only to have Washington slit Deadpool's throat. Washington turns to kill Michael, but he is awakened by Ben Franklin. Michael teleports the bodies of Preston and Deadpool to the Washington monument.