The grudge match you've been waiting for: DEADPOOL VS. LINCOLN!
Deadpool de-undead-ifies AT LEAST twelve Presidents, easy.
Guaranteed to make you better looking to potential mates!
It's South Florida and the silhouette of one Marilyn Monroe can be seen in a warehouse stocked with heavy firearms. She calls out to JFK, an undead president who plots to invade Cuba. He calls her over but is disappointed that she looks so awful. Marilyn, however, turns out to be Deadpool, who flashes JFK while pulling out his mystical sword. With JFK ignominiously killed, Deadpool turns on the hired help and blows them all away. He then assures the reader that there are plenty more dead presidents to kill.
Later, Deadpool is ordered to the Golden Gate Bridge; some presidents are planning on blowing it up. Deadpool arrives and confronts the men right after instructing the reader to blast "Five Minutes Along" by Pantera because it is montage time. He whips out his sword and slices up the present dead presidents and then calls for his ride as he leaps from the bridge. Agent Preston gets him just in time, though he lands on the roof of the plane with a nasty crunch.
Two healed legs later and Deadpool is at the Hoover Dam to confront more presidents. He wastes no time wasting a few presidents. When other try to escape Deadpool chases them with their forsaken dynamite. He plants it in their car just in time for the dynamite to ignite. Deadpool, propelled from the blast, is rocketed against the SHIELD plane. Agent Preston pulls him in only to order him out for another mission in at the nuclear plant in San Onofre.
At San Onofre, Deadpool boards a golf cart and careens towards more dead presidents. He gets a few before Lincoln, once again, shoots Deadpool in the head. Lincoln climbs aboard a helicopter and begins his ascent when Deadpool uses some quick thinking and hurls his iPhone onto the helicopter (for tracking purposes). The presidents get away.
Aboard the SHIELD helicarrier, Agent Gorman continues to hustle Agent Preston along. He's tired of wasting time on Michael the Necromancer and wants Preston to put all her focus on getting rid of the rest of the presidents. Gorman leaves and Ben Franklin moves in for a chat with Michael. He explains that the agents don't like his story about some other recruit named Tango (who could supposedly validate Michael's story of being a magical recruit of SHIELD). Michael then states that the agent's name was Gorman in hopes that the information will help speed things along. It obviously does. Agent Preston is able to finally find some evidence that Michael the Necromancer is telling the truth, especially when she finds a picture of Michael with her superior, Agent Gorman. Agent Adsit then states that Deadpool's GPS has confirmed Abe Lincoln is in Las Vegas, Nevada.
At the MGM Grand, Adrian van Lundgren has just beaten an opponent in ultimate fighting. His victory speech is interrupted by Lincoln's entrance. Lincoln pummels Adrian as Deadpool's crew enters the arena. Deadpool proposes a fight, to which Lincoln accepts. Deadpool puts his weapons to the side despite the discouragement of his crew. The fight begins and Lincoln completely thrashes Deadpool. With second thoughts about making this a weaponless fight, Deadpool asks for his magic sword and decapitates Lincoln. He then decapitates the other present dead presidents. President Taft arrives (in a bathtub) too late to save Lincoln but takes his body and escapes anyway. The crowd cheers for Deadpool and Adrian shares some victory spotlight with him.
In space, however, a Russian ship heads for the International Space Station. One of the astronauts isn't an intended passenger. Ronald Reagan has stowed-away and he kills the crew. His destination isn't to the ISS but towards something that the old Soviet Union left in orbit.