Dead former United States presidents, from George Washington to Gerald Ford have been resurrected, and that’s BAD. The Marvel heroes can’t be the ones to stop them, someone is needed with the reputation, skills and plausible deniability to take out these com-monsters in chiefs...NOW! is the time for Deadpool… In Wade We Trust!
On a beach... somewhere... Deadpool basks in the sun with a mighty headache. Sue Storm appears and offers him a beer to help with the head pain Abe Lincoln gave him moments before. Emma Frost then appears and the two ladies start fighting over who gets Deadpool's attention. He watches with glee, though states that he's got plenty to give both of them. Dazzler, looking superfly on roller skates, rolls up and invites Deadpool for a skate-date. He agrees but is saddened when She-Hulk kicks Dazzler into the sea. She-Hulk then picks up Deadpool and kisses him. (Sue wins the fight.)
Deadpool wakes up in Independence Hall to see the ghost of Benjamin Franklin celebrating his ability to wake up Deadpool. Deadpool springs into action and tries to kill Ben. Franklin has to explain to the Canadian merc that he was never a president. He simply figured out a way to electronically keep himself on Earth. He also explains that he is there to offer aid.
At a military graveyard, dead presidents George Washington and John F. Kennedy try to coerce the hippie-magician into raising an army for their razing of the United States. The magician has second thoughts, however, and tries to flee after throwing JFK and blowing fire at George Washington (wooden teeth!). Turning invisible and hiding, he is shamed into revealing himself when the presidents use killing two old people as leverage for the hippie's help. He gives in and summons the dead military men to rise.
Deadpool calls in to Agent Preston and explains that the situation may be a bit worse than thought. He also mentions that Ben Franklin is helping him (she can't see him). She decides to get personally involved and tells him to standby for transport to Los Angeles to stop Theodore Roosevelt from killing zoo animals.
In L.A., Teddy Roosevelt continues his hunt. A bear approaches and knocks his gun out of his hands. No worries, Roosevelt punches the bear for a loop and heads back for his gun. In the air, Deadpool jumps from a plane and lands very awkwardly in the zoo. He approaches Roosevelt and shoots him in the head. Seeing that as a sign of aggression, Roosevelt pummels Deadpool. Ben Franklin shows up as Deadpool dusts himself off and tells him that electricity should be the answer in getting rid of the dead presidents. An elephant charges before Ben can elaborate and pierces Deadpool with a tusk through his abdomen. Deadpool and Roosevelt exchange shots while Deadpool tries to work himself free from the elephant. The two men then fight on the ground (Deadpool's guts still hanging out) until the elephant grabs Roosevelt by the head. Deadpool punches him in the nads for good measure. He then sees an electrical box and grabs a very large cord with exposed wires. He orders the elephant to drop Roosevelt before zapping the president. The elephant doesn't understand, however, and gets electrocuted too. Agent Preston shows up to see the elephant burning and laments that they may need more help.
In Manhattan, Deadpool, Preston, and Franklin approach the home of Dr. Strange. Wong immediately turns them away.