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Origin

Clint shoots a rare bird

Clint is one of the Adolescent Radioactive Black Belt Hamsters, along with his brothers Chuck, Bruce, and Jackie. They are all anthropomorphic and larger than normal hamsters. However, Clint stands out from the others in several ways. He wears punk sunglasses and a razor-blade earring, and sports a mohawk. He usually fights with guns instead of traditional martial arts weapons. He is naturally violent and a self-indulgent partier.

Character Development

Original and 3-D series

Clint and the others were originally mutated in the process of destroying a cloud of cosmic radioactive Jello for NASA. They were later trained in the martial arts by Tibetan monks.

Clint explains the decision to destroy the Statue of Liberty

When they returned to the outside world, they beat up a drug dealer and stole his money. Then they defeated a group of hijackers on a plane. Clint shot one of the hijackers, who was dressed as a nun, establishing his general lack of restraint.

They landed as heroes, but they almost immediately lost this status as they got into a variety of scrapes in New York. Clint shot a mugger with a flare gun, then went to a club with Jackie and Bruce. There, Clint electrocuted Jackie to help him calm down and learn how to socialize. Later, they went on a moralistic tear throughout the city, destroying anything they deemed immoral, including the Statue of Liberty, which they thought was a giant half-naked woman.

They were caught by the police, and caused havoc as they were processed into prison. The prison barber tried to shave Clint's mohawk, but it was too strong, and broke the razor instead. They started a food fight in the mess hall, and eventually broke out. They met up with Chuck and fled the state.

They were playing video games in a mall, but Clint got fed up with the game and shot it with his pistol. The noise attracted a bully, and they got in a fight. Clint tried to throw Jackie at him like an X-Men "fastball special," but missed, and tossed him through a game instead, almost electrocuting him again. Then Clint tried to beat him up with a giant salami, but the bully beat him up instead. Chuck finally took out the bully. A professional wrestling promoter, Vincent DeLuxe, saw the fight and signed them up to fight the world champion Mighty Midgets as a tag team. The Hamsters became famous and were all over TV. Finally the fight started. However, the Midgets couldn't get to the arena on time, so they had to wrestle four huge guys instead. The Hamsters managed to win, and got DeLuxe to give them $5 million each because of the mix-up. Clint bought his own nuclear missile with the money.

Driving an RV, they ended up at a toy store, where Jackie wanted to buy the new hot toy, Flower Garden Folks dolls. Clint got one too--a more "mature" version that played strip poker. However, the dolls eventually went crazy and tried to kill everyone. The Hamsters managed to destroy the dolls and rescue their maker.

They drove across country and stopped in a rural area. Jackie ran off, thinking he was a WWI Flying Ace, and Bruce, Clint, and Chuck got into trouble in a convenience store (Clint insisted on getting some beer in the middle of the night and broke in). They were arrested, and then they were waylaid by the C.C.C., or Coo Clucks Clan, a religious/racist cult who worshiped Colonel Sanders and dressed up like chickens. They prepared to cook the hamsters over a cauldron.

Meanwhile Jackie ran into the Heap, who helped him find the others (although they destroyed the RV on the way). With the help of the Heap, they quickly routed the C.C.C. and escaped.

Clint ends up on a party boat

They next ran afoul of the P.L.O. again. Clint and the others fought against the villains, but had a hard time until Captain Tree and Bush Boy arrived and saved the day by sacrificing themselves in the act of killing the P.L.O.

After many other adventures, the Hamsters battled the villain Infidel Castro. Castro killed Bruce. The other Hamsters were stuck in an undersea base and tried to check Bruce's body in its hospital, but he seemed to be gone. They ended up having to leave his body behind as the base's self-destruct mechanism went off, and the barely escaped in some sea sleds. However, the explosion separated them, and at the end of the original series, they were all left in separate situations. Clint, luckily, was rescued by a Mafia party boat, and seemed content with his prospects.

Clint: The Hamster Triumphant Mini-Series

Clint is the answer to the monks' prophecy

At some point in the past, possibly before the Hamsters ever left the monastery, Clint went on a solo adventure. He was frustrated about hanging out all the time and not doing anything. He even challenged his teacher, Master Lock, to a fight, and beat him in one punch. He confronted the other monks, looking for something to do, and they sent him on a mission to defeat the Queenpin, a transvestite Thai crime lord who had defeated 50 of the monks' previous apprentices. The Queenpin, is, obviously, a parody of the Kingpin.

Clint went to Bangkok and tried to get information on the Queenpin, killing most of the people he interrogated. Finally he was knocked out from behind by two of the Queenpin's flunkies, and put in a dungeon. There he found three mice who looked like the Three Stooges. He tried to convince them to help him, but only Curly would do it. They escaped together.

Clint dressed up in a ninja outfit and infiltrated the Queenpin's highrise in the city. Attacked by a robot dog, he threw it out of a window. Then he defeated numerous henchmen, including sumo wrestlers, gunmen, and martial artists, without breaking a sweat. At one point, when he was hit by a throwing star, he pulled it out of his chest and used it to kill the person who threw it at him. He was also able to deflect other throwing stars with his sword. Finally he and Curly found the Queenpin escaping in a helicopter. Curly jumped on the Queenpin, but she tossed him into the rotors, killing him. Clint, who had become good friends with the mouse, vowed revenge, and used a crossbow to attach a line onto the helicopter, trailing behind it as it flew across the city.

The Queenpin tried to throw him off, smashing him through the windows of a building, but Clint kept his grip. Finally she cut the rope and he fell, but landed on a plane being piloted by A.J. Brillo, who happened to have his own gripes against the Queenpin. They continued to attack the Queenpin's chopper from Brillo's plane, but she escaped. They crashed into the water, but were OK. They went up the river to the Queenpin's compound (this whole section is a parody of Apocalypse Now). They fought their way in, and Clint shot at the Queenpin point-blank--but his gun malfunctioned.

He asked A.J. for his gun, but instead A.J. double-crossed him and knocked him out. (He wanted the Queenpin to pay off his debts.) Clint managed to escape. The Queenpin grabbed him from behind, however, and broke his wrist. Clint bit him and ran off into the jungle. He grabbed a boat to make a getaway, but the Queenpin followed in her chopper. Clint dived out and his boat hit a log, knocking it in the air and destroying the chopper, with the Queenpin in it. Having accomplished his mission, Clint returned to the monastery.

2008 Series

The 2008 series retconned much of the last issues of the original series. It simultaneously explained the Infidel Castro arc, and Bruce's death, as having been both a dream and having taken place in an alternate dimension. Whatever happened, the new series started off with five new Hamsters ( Lucy, Jean-Claude, Steven, Arnold, and Rock) constituting an all-new team, and with the original four split apart--although in a different way, and for different reasons, than the split seen at the end of the original series.

The series starts off with the invasion of the monastery by a villain known as Genghis Khann. All of the new Hamsters are killed or captured trying to defend it except Lucy, who escapes and manages to reach Master Lock. Lock then contacts Jackie, who has been living with a group of samurai and mystics underneath Mount Fuji. Jackie has been training intensely, and misses his brothers, so when Lock lies to him and tells him they're all waiting for him so they can all recapture the monastery, Jackie is glad to come.

Jackie later finds Bruce and Chuck, who have been hunting Chupacabras in Texas together for years. In contrast to Jackie, they are now overweight and out of shape. Jackie is glad to see them, however, and they go off with Lucy to find Clint.

Meanwhile, Khann has been working on a secret plan. He somehow resurrected some of the new team of Hamsters and brainwashed them into working for him. He finds a computer room under the monastery which is tracking a cloud of cosmic Jell-o, just like the one that first mutated the original Hamsters. Then he and the zombie Hamsters catch Master Lock and get the codes to use the computer room.

Clint discusses macroecomonic theory

Clint now lives a life almost opposite to the one he used to lead. He works in a pawn shop with an annoying (and secret animal-sex obsessive) neighbor named Richard. He likes soft rock and reads about macro-economics in the newspaper. Even worse, he no longer wears his sunglasses, and styles his hair in a floppy, yuppie, center-part haircut. He is also married to a human wife, Martha, and has two step-children, Spencer and Hepburn. They are all disgusting and nasty, and treat him terribly. He never stands up for himself, and seems to be in complete denial about his former life. It turns out that he has never even consummated his marriage after seven years. The one hint as to his old self is that he now calls himself Harry Callahan, which was Clint Eastwood's name in Dirty Harry.

He does keep himself in excellent physical shape, like Jackie and unlike Bruce and Chuck. One night he goes down to his workshop to make a wood project, and is stunned to find that he has made a pistol. He destroys it and cries endlessly to himself, "My name is Harry, my name is Harry..." Clearly he is having difficulty keeping his new persona together.

Finally, Jackie, Bruce, and Chuck come in to get him on the team again, but he pretends he doesn't recognize them. He is so stuck in his new pathetic life that he can't bring himself to admit that it was ever different. They all talk. It turns out that Clint was in love with Lucy, but she had a relationship with Chuck instead. The affair (which they liken to Yoko and the Beatles) made them all crazy and broke them up. Chuck is still mad at him over the whole thing: his relationship with Lucy only lasted a week, and he blames Clint for that. Bruce, however, understand the need to start over, and gives him a hug.

Clint thanks Lucy for hitting his wife

Clint refuses to understand any of this and kicks them out. Clint's neighbor, Richard, sees the others and invites them in, but traps them in his basement, a la the Gimp in Pulp Fiction. Lucy finally finds Clint and berates his wife, calling him a warrior and a legend. She punches Martha out, and Clint finally wakes up and admits who he really is. Clint goes into his closet and comes out wearing a centurion helmet with a mohawk-like bristle along the top, and carrying a revolver. He's back.

They break into Richard's basement, shoot the glass cage his brothers are in, and leave Richard to be eaten by his other captive rodents. They all walk out. The brothers are excited and want to set off to save the monastery, but Clint says no--he wants to go back to his human family; as horrible as they might be, they need him, and he has chosen the responsibility to take care of them.

Without Clint, the others invade the monastery and are caught. Khann brags about his new plan to them, and points out the incoming cloud of space Jell-o. Then, without further explanation, he shoots Master Lock, Jackie, Bruce, Chuck, and Lucy in the head, killing them. It turns out that the cosmic Jell-o is the home for many other Hamsters, who are apparently alien, not mutant, in origin, and Khann uses them to take over the Earth.

Ten years later, Clint reconsiders. He can't live with himself any more. He breaks into Khann's compound, killing many of the alien hamsters. Wearing his mokawked helmet once again, he kicks down Khann's door, only to find him a bored and bloated mess, watching TV and ready to give up. Clint demands Khann's time machine, so he can go back in time and save his brothers and kill Khann in the past. Khann points out that Clint is standing on it, and sends him back to the past. Nothing changes. Apparently Clint failed. Khann remains the ruler of the world.

Powers and Abilities

Clint sharpshoots some nunchucks

Clint is reportedly the best warrior of his brothers, according to the monks who taught them. He was able to take out their teacher, Master Lock, in one hit. He traditionally carries guns, especially a .44 magnum. He also often uses machine guns and explosives. He has also used swords, throwing stars, and other standard hand weapons to great effect. His sunglasses can see in infra-red.

While Clint is out of practice in the future, he stays in great shape, and when necessary, he is still able to wreak havoc and shoot as well as he ever could. When he finally decides to attack Khann, he kills numerous alien hamsters, who are presumably all enhanced and excellent fighters like the Earth-based Hamsters were.

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