Vampires that Don't Glitter
I wrote this review last year thought id post it dont judge my writing on this ive gotten better.
Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant
888 1/2
The vampires don’t glitter under sunlight in this Halloween action-comedy, but Vampire’s Assistant (based on the first three books in the Cirque Du Freak saga) is still a fun movie to see.
Darren Shan (who shares a name with the book’s writer) is an ordinary teenager with an ordinary family who with not-so-ordinary classmate Steve Leopard (Josh Hutcherson of Journey to the Center of the Earth). Steve tries to distract himself from his abusive family by obsessing over vampires, but when that doesn’t work he cuts class and valises the school building. Still he is Shan’s (secret) best friend, so the two of them are excited for a night at the Cirque Du Freak. Unfortunately, Darren recently joined Steve on one of those afore-mentioned school day escapades, so he is grounded and banned from speaking to Leopard. In spite of the rule, the two hop on their bikes one fateful night and go to the show. It is far better than they expected—the Freaks seem like they are really magic. Darren is a little upset though when he finds out Steve thinks the circus spider-tamer Mr. Crepsley is a real vampire. He is more surprised when he overhears Crepsley admitting to really being a vampire seconds before Steve bursts in and asks to become one as well. Crepsley denies Steve those abilities, though, saying he would abuse them. However, the next day Steve is bitten by Crepsley’s spider, all because Darren stole it. Crepsley agrees to save Steve under one condition—Darren becomes a vampire and serves as Crepsley’s assistant in the job that Steve had dreamed of. The adventure is brought to fever pitch when a war breaks out between the good, non-murderous, vampires and the evil Vampaneze.
Director Paul Weitz (American Pie) keeps the mood light and blends humor and coolness with creative visuals. Best of all though is John C Reilly (best known for winning Best Supporting Actor for his performance in ). Reilly plays Crepsley, the world-weary, screamingly funny lead vampire who is by far the most interesting thing in the movie (his motives and alliances are unclear until the final scene). Chris Massoglia provides a great contrast as the ultra-earnest Darren who (unjustly) feels superior to the other Freaks and refuses to cooperate at practically everything.
While you should have seen it before Halloween, this film is still fun enough to watch at anytime: but don’t worry if you have to wait until it is on DVD.