I'm finally Catwoman and some troll announces it should be the chick from "House"?! The news floored me.
I won the role, I should be Catwoman!
Now, I know some of my roles have made me seem a little... cutesy, but is that any excuse for doubting me in the role of a tight-bodiced sexpot? I'm sorry, but I just had to take issue with the fandalism that's been done to my image as The Catwoman by Cervantes and his twisted fascination with that Olivia hussy! (See what I did there?) Thankfully, Comicvine saw my point and is giving me equal time through Cervantes's own screenname to let 'justice roll down like waters, righteousness like a mighty stream'!
What? I gave up Catholicism, not the Bible...
TOP TEN REASONS I SHOULD BE CATWOMAN:
If the suit fits, you must aquit! Seriously, I'm on trial here? Fine, here's a photoshopped Lara Croft cosplay -- it's not like I can actually show you my paint-on Catsuit!
I'm weapons tested -- I can handle myself.
A voluptuous thief with sexy countermeasures to overcome? Been there, rocked that!
I look good in black...
...but I love the purple cat. Hope Nolan does a 180 and takes this approach...
I'm in touch with my feline side; no petting...
I straddle the darkness and ride all night, just like the Cat -- and enough on the goggles, already! They're for riding -- when they're up, I'll make plenty of cat eyes at you...
"Get Smart" had a little more action than the audience expected, because I can handle it; now I'm bustin' stuntmen and mannequins upside the face on set -- so you know I'm the real deal.
If Olivia wants to be Julie Newmar, I'm going to try my best to pull off a little bit of Audrey's magic.
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON I, ANNE OF GREEN GABLES, SHOULD BE CATWOMAN:
So I can bring the art of Adam Hughes to life. Purely selfless -- take that, Olivia!