batwatch's Catwoman #19 - Slam review

BatWatch Review: Catwoman #19

Slam

Oh, Selina. How the mighty have fallen. You were once the ultimate adventurer. You were once a proud antihero. You are now a flighty, senseless creature who is difficult to enjoy on any level, but I'm trying to enjoy you. I really am. I just wish your writer would get off the drugs and pay you some respect. I've already seen enough from the preview to know this issue will probably be another stinker, but I'm willing for you to impress me. Please surprise me, Selina. I know there is a great character in there somewhere.

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Is this the kind of cat you want to curl up in your lap and warm your heart, or is this just a mad feline who pees on the carpet and shreds the couch?

In this issue, the JLA take Catwoman to Arkham because either Nocenti or some editor thought it sounded like a way cool idea, man.

Duuuuuude...

Dude, this issue is like so amazing. Like, the things that happen are just soooooo cool, and the colors are kinda colorful. They're not like super colors, but more like mega colors, but it's subtle...like the rain.

Catwoman totally goes to Arkham, and it's a major trip man, but it's not like what is seems. It's one of those conspiracies because the governmental Man is like telling her she has to. She just wants to know her name, right? She just wants to know who she is because she's totally like got this person who is her who is somewhere else, so she's working with the Man, man, and it's like a major bummer because these fascists superhero pigs throw her in jail, man. Major bummer.

But Catwoman's cool because she's like totally in control. She knows things and stuff, but she's just like watching while she's in the prison, man. It's like her eyes are open. Not just open, but reeeeally open, and she sees all this stuff that just blends in with the fascist states of oppression, man. It doesn't make sense.

Then, she totally escapes with this cool bro, but the bro turns evil, and she has to hit him, and I said, give peace a chance, Selina. Just smoke some plants, man, and it'll be cool. You'll just chill, and it'll be cool.

Then the cat lady totally teaches this fascist tool. Make love not war by showing him man. By showing him. You walk a mile in my shoes, she said. She said that, but now with words.

Then Selina like shoves out these birds eyes man. I'm not kidding she shoves them out, and the stones move and its like the freakin' chamber of God looking down on her, with the statues of kingdom come, man. It's totally rad, man. Then she leaves, and it's all good again.

Okay, No More of That

Look, Ann Nocenti is on drugs, and it's painfully clear that whatever writing talent she may have once had has now been completely lost to her doped up brain. I could easily spend three hours talking about the problems with this issue, but if you've ever read her work, you know what to expect. Sometimes, her stories end up feeling fun if a bit disjointed and immature, but this is not one of those. From page 1, it's as if Nocenti just wrote whatever came to mind in a first draft and sent it to print.

The only thing worthwhile in this whole issue was the two page exchange between Catwoman and Dr. Arkham, and that was not poetry, but at least it was substantive as Dr. Arkham made some legitimate points in trying to analyze Selina's mental condition. Dr. Arkham has the potential to be an interesting character, and I love to see him being manipulative while pretending (or perhaps sincerely trying) to care.

Conclusion 2/10

This is awful. DC should be ashamed to publish this book not only because of its poor quality but also because by giving this woman money, they are clearly enabling a serious drug issue.

For more news, reviews, and commentary for the entire Bat Family, check out BatWatch.net.

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2 Comments
Posted by kolejorg

I agree with everything you said. This is truly a horrible horrible book. Nocenti tried her best to ruin Green Arrow, and god knows why they have left her on this book. She has got to go and soon or this title is doomed.

Posted by DonFelipe

What an entertaining review! It's much better and a hell of a lot funnier than the actual story.

Other reviews for Catwoman #19 - Slam

    fgdfgjksaaadvjldafsohi' 0

    Ann Nocenti's Catwoman is a truly terrible series. It's so bad it makes the Halle Berry movie look good. I can't even imagine how Nocenti can possibly think she deserves it to be published once she hands in her scripts. I can't imagine how every single editor doesn't just install copies of her Catwoman scripts in the bathroom as emergency toilet paper.Catwoman is incarcerated in an Arkham that is completely unlike any Arkham I've EVER seen. I think this is something Nocenti saw in a dream or so...

    2 out of 2 found this review helpful.

    Unbearable 0

    The Good: Well the art was nice, confusing in parts, but nice. The Bad: well, once you open the cover...everything that has words. That's the bad. Nocenti must hate DC comics. That's the only explanation I can come up with for the awful awful work she's done there since the new 52. I have spent money on every issue of Catwoman since 1992. And I've never been so disappointed in a run than this one. I am praying the tie in to Justice League Of America is better than this, or that book will ...

    1 out of 1 found this review helpful.

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