T'Challa Has A Dream, Marvel Has A Nightmare

#1 Posted by Osiris1428 (1349 posts) - - Show Bio

I found this on another site's Black Panther Appreciation Thread. ENJOY!!

Think Fast!

Present day Wakanda and the prodigal king is returned triumphantly to his throne after a brief throw down with his kid sister. The fight itself was very one-sided considering that it was he who had taught is inexperienced sibling the art of war. Apparently he had not taught her everything for she succumbed to his multi angled onslaught with ease. Perhaps the awkwardness of the moment was the reason for the loss or it was the weather witch queen herself imposing a self boycott over the ancient tribal affair. Am I my sister's keeper?

Anyway, several heart shaped herb salads later things were returning back to normal. The queen had reconciled to the fact that what had to be done was done so she sat herself comfortable back in the royal seat at his side but refused to make eye contact with a man that had spanked his own sister quite thoroughly and decisively. This little tiff would eventually end over sweaty tornadic sex when cooler heads prevailed... But oh well.

Mother who was old school to the core on Wakandan matters did her best to console her daughter who was furious at such an open challenge put before the very eyes of the elders. Somewhere the panther god would have to be addressed on that whole handing over the vibranium to a well known super villain thing a while back but for now politics of the day would take precedent for now.

A new crown was to be fashioned along with a traditional Wakandan festival. Concessions would have to be made for the all new Avengers status that he and his soul mate now held jointly. Ah yes... things were looking up for him as the stale stench of Hell's Kitchen began to wash off of him with each moment in his old habit and matching cape.

It was then that his replacement for the late Wkabi ran in begging his pardon but several troubling incidents were brewing in key locations throughout Wakanda. Oh yeah he missed these moments the most. It was tests like these that made him one the smartest men in the whole of the Marvel Universe by default.

The list of problems were read like grocery list...

The Mole Men were digging a hole to seize the hidden spiked stash of vibranium he had stored just in case some madman asshole tried to pilfer it.

Solomon Prey had engineered a horde of mutant monsters who filled the sky ready to slaughter the entire Wakandan army. Go figure!

Klaw had returned too because... Well because he was Klaw.

Eric Killmonger was back from the dead as some form of pseudo zombie gifted by Mephisto himself as a payback for losing his heart.

Nightshade had managed to bypass Wakanda's tight security measures as a lingerie wearing werewolf devouring innocent Wakandan citizens.

To top it off the great world eater himself Galactus had entered Wakandan airspace and was preparing to park himself right dab in the middle of downtown Wakanda and order a meal... Sure hope that contingency plan was still on file.

Ah Wakanda... It was good to be back home. The smell, the people the total atmosphere was so invigorating. What the frak was he doing playing street level vigilante overseas when this was so much fun.

The queen stood up, leaned over and kissed him gently on the cheek.

Ororo: "Time to go to work!"

Grabbing him by his forearms she wind whipped them both up and into battle formations through the opening rooftop.

Ororo: "I'm still mad at you though!"

T'challa: "I know... So which problem do you want to handle first?"

Ororo: "You're the contingency man it's your call."

T'challa: "Galactus will need time to fly in his worldship which I reprogrammed to soar to another part of the galaxy. The Mole Men are already tunneling into a trap. Klaw is pretty much wasting his time since I recalibrated the vibranium. That leaves Killmonger and Nightshade. Let's try and wrap this all up early so we can..."

Ororo: "Not! I'm still mad at you."

T'challa: "I was going to suggest dinner and a movie."

Ororo: "Shuri. Make peace with your sister first."

He could feel it. His old reflexes were back and he was home sweet home.

Despite the queens manner he knew as well as she that this would eventually end in sex.

He of course had a contingency plan even for that.

It's good... No it's great to be the king!

T'challa: "AHEM!"

Ororo: "Oh yeah!"

As massive hail and 1000 mph winds backed by fireworks of electrics rained down on solomon's winged army a vortex formed and they were vacuumed into outer space.

T'challa: "You are so omega!"

Ororo: "Thanks to your scientific genius on solar wind paths."

T'challa: "I'm back!"

Ororo: "Indeed you are."

The alarm clock goes off echoing in his ear. Frak!

He was dreaming again. Still in Hell's Kitchen at that.

Late, T'challa dons his work uniform and quickly dashes out the door and down the street in peak human style and reports to work.

T'challa: "Welcome to McDonalds may I take your order?"

Crystal ball in hand with a diabolical cackle and menacing glare...

Mickey Mouse: "I aint through with you by sight... I'm going to get medieval on your @$$!"

Marvel Editorial: "Man FRAK T'challa!"

Yeah Frak him... Again!

#2 Posted by Avenging-X-Bolt (13142 posts) - - Show Bio

i lol'ed

#4 Posted by White Mage (18740 posts) - - Show Bio

@nonfiction91 said:

Hah, yeah I was just coming to his forum because his role right now pisses me off, of course von doom wouldnt fall from his ivory tower right? the one hair from being a nazi supervillian? no. but the one black credible hero sure can. Why stay in Africa, his homeland which is much more in need of a hero, when he can be a manager at a diner in the Bronx right?? so stupid, why whites have any say in the mechanics of a black mans mind ill never know. its like me trying to make a white character...from germany. And now, it seems he's getting daredevil's sloppy seconds on villians instead of getting his own, I mean, screw lady bullseye! who cares about her?since when does BP have to fil a shadow? screw quesada, the porky bastard, and Liss who needs to keep himself in his lame mystery novels

Regardless of how I feel about this post, I still giggled for quite a while.

#5 Posted by nonfiction91 (1704 posts) - - Show Bio

lol, happy to oblige. It was meant to be 60% funny, 15% angry, and 25% fact

#6 Posted by Mega_spidey01 (3078 posts) - - Show Bio

black panther is a cool character.

#7 Posted by Mega_spidey01 (3078 posts) - - Show Bio

@ nonfiction what do u mean by your statement? i'm confused

#8 Posted by jhazzroucher (15792 posts) - - Show Bio

hahahaha. nice one! : )

#9 Posted by flexhectic (13 posts) - - Show Bio

What a brotha gotta do to get credit for the dream sequence?

Maybe a little shout out or something!

#10 Posted by flexhectic (13 posts) - - Show Bio

Here is some more of my fan fiction.  
 
Hope you enjoy!
 
http://forums.comicbookresources.com/showthread.php?t=393632

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