How to become a real life Batman?

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#1 Posted by Batmanwannabe (3 posts) - - Show Bio

I want to be a real life batman & need some tips on what i need to do for this to happen.

I have 3 yrs MMA training

I have 300 dollars worth of Radioshack Gift cards. So I can buy some useful electronics.

I have a 250cc Scooter that can do 80 MPH, no problem.

I have a replica Batman Mask

What else do I need for this thing to happen? I dont know how to get a cap that glides.

#2 Posted by Enz0 (2522 posts) - - Show Bio

#3 Posted by Aiden Cross (15575 posts) - - Show Bio

Sell your batman stuff, donate the money to charity. Do volunteer work, and you're a hero.

#4 Posted by Alexander505 (2177 posts) - - Show Bio

Ahahah, is a suicide, dude.

#5 Posted by supermanfan1234 (206 posts) - - Show Bio

if youre serious about this do it with other people and dont reveal yourself and tell your secrets like phoenix jonnes did

#6 Posted by ArtGamer (1262 posts) - - Show Bio

well, start for killing your parents, and get a lot of money

#7 Posted by CrimsonCake (2682 posts) - - Show Bio

Getting around will be tricky.Are you agile enough to jump from building to building with out sustaining injury?Try to buy a grappling hook gun,although they don't work at the same capacity as batman's though.

#8 Posted by MasterDetective (850 posts) - - Show Bio

http://www.amazon.com/The-Batman-Handbook-Ultimate-Training/dp/1594740232/ref=pd_sim_b_1

http://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Batman-The-Possibility-Superhero/dp/0801890632

Here you go

#9 Posted by Phaedrusgr (1672 posts) - - Show Bio

Do you look good in grey pajamas?

#10 Posted by CrimsonCake (2682 posts) - - Show Bio

@MasterDetective: The "Becoming Batman" book kind of concludes that it's not possible,so it will probably discourage him from trying.

#11 Posted by Durakken (1593 posts) - - Show Bio

@supermanfan1234 said:

if youre serious about this do it with other people and dont reveal yourself and tell your secrets like phoenix jonnes did

Phoenix Jones had no option in that matter.

As far as becoming Batman. You need to do a lot of engineering.

#12 Posted by CrimsonCake (2682 posts) - - Show Bio

@Durakken said:

@supermanfan1234 said:

if youre serious about this do it with other people and dont reveal yourself and tell your secrets like phoenix jonnes did

Phoenix Jones had no option in that matter.

As far as becoming Batman. You need to do a lot of engineering.

He kind of revealed a little too much even before he got arrested.He showed the news his secret lair which was a comic book shop.If a person really cared enough they could go to every single comic book shop in Rain City and look for that book case.

#13 Posted by SandMan_ (4528 posts) - - Show Bio

Are you a billionaire? 
 
Are you're parents dead?

#14 Posted by gats_botl (78 posts) - - Show Bio

do you own a rope and a celling hook?

#15 Posted by Pacperson (307 posts) - - Show Bio

....learning how to spell cape is a good start.

#16 Posted by MrShway88 (678 posts) - - Show Bio

why won't you just join the police force and try to become a detective?

#17 Posted by daredevil21134 (12403 posts) - - Show Bio

You need about 3 life times for that lol

#18 Posted by No_Trolling (653 posts) - - Show Bio

Don't be too batman like. Keep an automatic gun on your back.

#19 Posted by Eternal19 (2076 posts) - - Show Bio

you have to wear tights and adopt a little boy and put him in tights to help you fight crime. oh and 3 yrs of mma experience dont mean crap when the dude has a gun, you need to take self-defense to help you know how to disarm him.

#20 Posted by Spectre108 (269 posts) - - Show Bio

Your parents need to die first, bro.

#21 Posted by Onemoreposter (4091 posts) - - Show Bio

Step one, get your parents and walk through lots and lots of shady neighborhoods with them. Repeat until they're dead.

Step two, inherit their billion dollar fortune and corporate empire.

If either one of these two steps you are incapable of completing, give up now.

#22 Posted by Batmanwannabe (3 posts) - - Show Bio

I think you guys are going overboard with the the rich parents must die. All I want to do is become batman like not have hes entire back story. I can get the cape possibily & a bullet proof vest for armor.

Now I just need the electronics, what equipment could i get with 300 bucks credit from Radio shack?

How can I climb or get to the top of a building fast?

Any gliding or zip line possibilites for getting across buildings or should i just stick with ground action & a bike? I really want to do the gliding but dont know what i can get for this

#23 Posted by ogarza (124 posts) - - Show Bio

@Lincoln_Protocol said:

#24 Posted by ogarza (124 posts) - - Show Bio

Aside from becoming a billionare orphan that has "3 years of MMA training," you still need to deal with the becoming a master detective

#25 Posted by Batmanwannabe (3 posts) - - Show Bio

@ogarza said:

Aside from becoming a billionare orphan that has "3 years of MMA training," you still need to deal with the becoming a master detective

Is this necessary because I find it that the detective portion is not imo. I have a police scanner, so I just want to get to the action more than put pieces of a puzzle together. However I can still try to read a few books about detective work because it may be useful when i capture a few thugs that may have info on something big.

I live in downtown chicago, plenty of stuff going on. If I can figure out how to get to the top of buldings & get down it would be close to awesome. I have binoculars for viewing birdseye

#26 Posted by BlackArmor (6149 posts) - - Show Bio

You have to be bitten by a radioactive Scott Snyder

#27 Posted by ogarza (124 posts) - - Show Bio

you got this from the movie that batman is just a symbol and that anyone can be batman right?

#28 Posted by JonSmith (4008 posts) - - Show Bio

Seriously? This is what we're doing now? Great.

M'kay, @Batmanwannabe: you sound like you want to be Batman. Cool. Great. Don't we all.

You don't have the commitment. I don't know what your motivation is, but I'm willing to bet you just want to be a hero. Go out there, beat up the bad guys, be a hero. And your way to do this as you see it is be Batman. Alright, here's the thing. Three years of MMA training? Good start. You need more. You need to be able to case a crime scene in seconds. You need to be able to get in and out of any situation unnoticed. If you see an assault going down, you need to be able to identify the aggressor immediately before getting involved. As for how to climb buildings, there's a skill called parkour. Basically: The art of running away. I trust you're familiar with the fight or flight mechanism, yes? Obviously, the martial arts, and by extension, MMA, focuses on the fight part. Parkour focuses on the flight. How to efficiently vault over obstacles, wall run, how to land from a high fall without breaking anything, etc. Nix the cape. You won't find one that can help you glide. We're working on it, but we're not there yet. Wearing one anyway will way you down and get caught on things, not to mention it's a handhold for opponents. Even if you want to be a hero, violence is a last resort. If you see two people fighting, try to calm them down with talk first. If they begin attacking, THEN you put them down as quickly and painlessly as possible. IF you're serious about this, if you really go out there and to this stuff, no one's going to like you. No one's going to thank you. You're not going to find people who say 'Thanks, Batmanwannabe!'. People are going to hate you. Oh, you thought you were a hero for breaking up that fight? HA. People don't work like that. Look at Phoenix Jones as an example. That's you.

#29 Posted by gotwillpower (679 posts) - - Show Bio

@Aiden Cross said:

Sell your batman stuff, donate the money to charity. Do volunteer work, and you're a hero.

Just stay away from your local library. You have no idea how mind-numbingly dull shelving library books is.

#30 Edited by Shotgun (900 posts) - - Show Bio

Be careful, man. I don't like the idea of anyone going out at night looking for trouble, even if they want to stop the trouble. Plus, you need to be take into account how this'll affect your life. Like how'll this effect your metabolism, sleeping habits, schedule, health...etc. Not to mention the fact that you can get knifed, shot or even die. Do you have a local superhero team like Phoenix Jones to patrol with? You should not go alone, since you will probably get ganged up on. Comic books do not operate by the same logic as real life. If you do want to try out patrolling, I have to say that you need to inform the police beforehand of any dangerous scenario that you meet. For legal reasons and for back-up. Plus it might cool some heads when they realize that some guy called the police and they'd better leave before things get too troublesome. Maybe.

All in all, I think that you shouldn't do it. You'll get hurt. If you want to help out, then it'd be better for you to use your MMA skills to open some sort of martial arts class(free or with charge) and teach self-defense to anyone who needs it or wants to learn it. Spread the word through your community. That way you can help people protect themselves and maybe make money off of it as a bonus.

#31 Posted by DeathpooltheT1000 (12094 posts) - - Show Bio

You would need more that 10 years of martial arts trainning, not only one style, you will need to learn at least 4 styles, then go to the the FBI school and learn everything from those guys, buy a battle costume that will cost you like 60 000, learn how criminal works, get to a fancy school to learn how to make your own gadgets.

And some type of time machine, to get back on time and tell yourself at the age of 5 to start, because you will need like 25 years to do all those things.

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#32 Posted by thespideyguy (2643 posts) - - Show Bio

The cape is suicide it is weighted down with lead and he only uses it to draw gun-fire of criminals, also with your costume you want to heavily pad the bat symbol on your chest because it's a target. And only a nobody with no one he cares about can become a superhero, watch and read Kick-Ass. How much have you thought this through.

#33 Posted by thespideyguy (2643 posts) - - Show Bio

Have a bb pistol, tazer, slingshot, and pepper spray.

#34 Posted by spawn_123 (1693 posts) - - Show Bio

You cant be Batman and if you become batman i will be your Robin you will training me and i will go mad and than i will become RED HOOD

So call me ok Mister Wayne?

#35 Posted by ComicStooge (13795 posts) - - Show Bio

Just put on your mask and go fight crime, buddy. You should start the way Bruce did in Batman Begins, go into a place where loads of guys are armed with guns and beat them up with your bare hands.

#36 Posted by RedOwl_1 (1664 posts) - - Show Bio

...... What about Red Hood without killing? I think is easier :P

#37 Posted by Eternal19 (2076 posts) - - Show Bio

@ogarza said:

you got this from the movie that batman is just a symbol and that anyone can be batman right?

#38 Edited by BiteMe-Fanboy (8048 posts) - - Show Bio

Well, holler at me when the police arrest you and put you in the looney bin, but at least you get to pretend you're in Arkham Asylum.

#39 Posted by cloudzackvincent (1028 posts) - - Show Bio

i don't think this guy is serious

#40 Posted by Durakken (1593 posts) - - Show Bio

Call the men in white coats. They will help you be Batman.

#41 Posted by Lone_Wolf_and_Cub (5240 posts) - - Show Bio

Find a psychiatrist first and take some meds if that doesn't work just find a tall building to jump off. Just kidding. But seriously you need help.

#42 Edited by TheSwordsman (1954 posts) - - Show Bio

@supermanfan1234 said:

if youre serious about this do it with other people and dont reveal yourself and tell your secrets like phoenix jonnes did

The courts made Phoenix Jones unmask in court so he unmasked publicly before the photos made the news. He did not voluntarily reveal himself. And he is still fighting crime on a nightly basis and doing a great job.

To the OP. Forget the glider cape. It is too dangerous and completely unnecessary. Study Phoenix Jones' career and perhaps even ask him for tips. Also familiarize yourself with your local laws so that you won't inadvertently break any. Your cellphone is going to be your primary weapon; 911 and video of the incidents. Think of yourself as a masked security guard. Only intervene physically if completely necessary and always use as little force as possible. Often times just your hands outstretched in front of you and the right words is all it takes to diffuse a situation.

Also don't wear a Batman mask or a ski mask. Wear something that looks superheroish so the cops won't mistake you for a criminal.

Edit. Stay off of rooftops also. That is trespassing and you will get arrested.

#43 Posted by Wolfrazer (7491 posts) - - Show Bio

You can't because its really impossible. Could try other street hero characters though, ones that are actually realistic and attainable.

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#44 Posted by LuigiBat (225 posts) - - Show Bio

@Wolfrazer said:

You can't because its really impossible. Could try other street hero characters though, ones that are actually realistic and attainable.

This.

One does not simply become Batman.

Joking aside I think it might one day be technically possible for someone to become Batman, i.e be on par/not far off with what we know Bruce to be capable of in the comics. However it'd involve breaking several human rights laws and ethical barriers, so it likely wouldn't happen. There might come a time in say 30-50 years time that all sorts of crazy cloning is possible, enabling someone to 'breed' a human capable of being on par with Bruce's abilities, but this is a very long shot. For all the talk of Batman being 'just a normal guy like everyone else' its clear that he is far from an average person. He's as perfect and well rounded as a human can get, in terms of the comics that is.

I think it's pretty much accepted that reaching the standard of the comic book Batman is impossible, but would it be possible to reach the standards of Nolan's Batman?

Personally I don't think it would be impossible to reach that standard. Bruce was gone for 7 years (I've always debated whether he actually trained for that full 7 years though, I'd argue he trained for 3-5 years) and I'd argue he wasn't someone who was naturally talented (at least not to the extent of comicbook Bruce) so it might actually be possible for someone to outstrip him as a fighter if they were given similar training for the same amount of time.

#45 Edited by Wolfrazer (7491 posts) - - Show Bio
@LuigiBat:  Becoming comic Batman? No, you'd need a few lifetimes for that one(even then its impossible). Becoming Nolan's Batman? Eh...perhaps, the only barrier you'd have really is the technology that Batman has but even then you'd probably wouldn't survive against someone who completely smashes you(IE: Bane) because really...if it was RL and someone like that Batman and Bane did exist. Bane would have just outright killed Batman, not just beat him to the ground and break his back...because what villain would be stupid enough(without plot devices, or needing the hero to live) to let their enemy live?
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#46 Posted by LuigiBat (225 posts) - - Show Bio

@Wolfrazer said:

@LuigiBat: Becoming comic Batman? No, you'd need a few lifetimes for that one. Becoming Nolan's Batman? Eh...perhaps, the only barrier you'd have really is the technology that Batman has but even then you'd probably wouldn't survive against someone who completely smashes you(IE: Bane) because really...if it was RL and someone like that Batman and Bane did exist. Bane would have just outright killed Batman, not just beat him to the ground and break his back...because what villain would be stupid enough(without plot devices, or needing the hero to live) to let their enemy live?

Yeah aside from tech it's possible to become Nolan's Batman.

On the Bane thing. I think in real life that sort of thing wouldn't happen, there's no way anyone would be as stupid as Bruce was at that point in the film. Remember that Bruce vastly underestimated Bane to begin with, he felt that Bane would be nothing compared to the Ra's Al Ghul and thought him to simply be a mercenary, if anyone had a genuine hope of emulating Batman in real life they wouldn't go making silly decisions like that. Although I do agree that if it were real life Bane would've just killed Batman outright nine times out of ten.

#47 Posted by tuananhxu99001 (96 posts) - - Show Bio

Lots of, lots of... money and a massive amount of spare time

#48 Posted by NordicAvenger0404 (2 posts) - - Show Bio

Lol Just take steroids and get a tight suit and fight crime....

#49 Posted by Durakken (1593 posts) - - Show Bio

If want all the tech and gadgets it would cost variant depending on how good you are with stuff...

for example a Batman style suit, you need Nomex lined with lead over ceramic chest and shoulder armor. That's fairly easy to get.

The Gauntlets are combination of Nomex and medieval armor with display panel for controls hooked to your electronics core in the suit and depending on how stable you want the spikes and what their use would be you'd have to build in air pressure gun control in it and or something that allows them to pop up or lay flat, but personally I'd go with the the version where they don't move or become disconnected.

The greaves are simply nomex + metal. The toes are steel toed. These you'd have to build yourself as depending on how accurate you want.

The Belthas to have a custom logic board and CPU in it so I'd go with getting arduino and building that into the front clip. Then you can choose the style of containers you want. The important part is that the logic board connects all the stuff on the suit so that it operates and so you don't have to build in processors for it all.

The Cape and Cowl... The parts that we see are nomex and sculpted metal or ceramics.The cape is weighted and each tip is spiked so that it can be used as a weapon as well as shield against fire and what not. It is also lead lined.

The Cowl on the other hand is a bit more difficult to construct realistically. You need a steel gorget. This takes up all the neck up to the back of the skull. The next piece is you need a steel from that encircles your forehead. this is strapped down under your chin. You could also attach it to the gorget but this would restrict head movement. The cape is attached to the gorget by the way. The next piece to this is earpieces that go over your ears and block out all sound. connected to the earpieces are also mics for voice controls and ambient sounds. The front part of the forehead piece stores the various lenses which you need to mount to a sculpted face plate. Off the forehead piece you need to connect the "helmet" piece via some sort of struts do that the helmet doesn't sit directly on your head.. Go look at modern soldier helmets and how their designed. Second to last is you then need to build the ear transceivers. These operate as a way to connect the suit to the internet, radio, etc. Lastly you cover the cowl with the lead lined nomex where needed, not completely as there should be parts that cover most of the head and if you cover it completely it will interfere with signal.

The expensive parts are really the nomex and custom jobs you need for a lot of this stuff. If you knew how to make each part and how to put together and could put it all together it would cost a ton less...

But the crux of this is that that suit would be massive heavy. Just a guess but I'd guess it would weigh a good 100-200 lbs. You couldn't move fast due to the cape. The face plate limits your visual range and the cowl connection to the gorget/cape limits head movement. You could also be left deaf or blind if any of the system malfunctions or someone takes the belt. Also, as far as I know Ceramics are something like 1 time usage so every time someone took a shot at you you'd have to call up the military to get a replacement. And you would be shot at...a lot. Despite what you see in the comics, if someone with a gun saw someone this armored up in this way coming for them they'd shoot because human nature would say "this guy is crazy, even if i run or stop there is no telling what this guy would do so i better make my stand here while i have a weapon" which means you're putting the people you are trying to protect in danger as well as yourself and further. One of the key aspects of not getting shot is the ability to move and shift your body away from where the gun is being fired, but you can't do this due to weight and sturdiness of the material, as fast as you think you could.

and even though that suit would be incredibly awesome and if anyone could wear and function in it I'd love to see it, a much better solution would likely be get a bullet proof vest, get a hat, get some glasses, get a face mask, get some mace, get a tazer. Go out like that, as that is less scary, you protect your identity, you don't come off as a lunatic, and you stand a more likely chance of not having to resort to violence...nor do you have to spend a shit ton of money on stuff that you'd have to replace nearly every time you go out.

#50 Posted by treefreak32 (27 posts) - - Show Bio

@BlackArmor:Lol

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