Eat to Live
Tomasi is going crazy.
The cover is very bone chilling with the red hue enveloping everything with the eclipse in the background casting over the undead Batman and Robin.....Eeek.
Batman has a damn rocket-ship.....seriously. A tank? Fine. A Jet? Sure. A submarine? Okay, whatever. But a damn rocket-ship??? Don't any of you say "Well he needs it for the Watchtower." No he takes the Star Trek route and beams himself up. Why in the ass would Batman need a rocket-ship? If Batman is fighting Aliens then call Superman or whatever the hell his persona is nowadays. I stopped reading Action Comics after the Johnny Clark mishap (Go die in a fire Morrison.).......Anyway. So Batman flies up into space via his rocket-ship.....(yes I will keep pointing this out...absurdity at its finest.) Just to show Damien the Solar Eclipse mostly and have a sort of bonding dramatic series of frames because Bruce's "real intent" was to monitor his communications satellite. Batman owning a satellite isn't new so this doesn't bug me. It shouldn't bug anybody anyhow because Batman could use Wayne Corp satellite's even if he didn't have his own. As long as his satellite isn't called the "big brother". Though, honestly, they flew up to it in their rocket-ship and immediately flew away...in their rocket-ship...after Damien asked Bruce if he loved Talia. Bruce's real thoughts: "Nobody love's a crazed maniacal rapist, son."..........rocket-ship.
There's a few times where Joker is mentioned and more so than Batgirl's prologue making me feel this should've been the prologue, but then we would need explanation as to why Zombies and Joker are connected.....Yes, zombies. The most annoying zombies ever on the face of the planet and so into the future of forever. 3-4 pages of nothing but frames of zombies (or some zombie-esque things) saying "eat to live". Eat to live? The cliche "brains" would've been better or incessant moaning. No we get "eat to live". Thanks Tomasi.
Damien also fights a giant sewer toad and we get a reprieve of the $500 million bounty his mother placed on his head in Batman Inc. "My mother is dead to me." is the best line ever to spew from Damien's face hole because Talia is a stupid psycho slut.... redemption for Tomasi and Damien is looking kind of nice. Just keep the Talia hate coming.
So. If I had skimmed this issue instead of picking it up without hesitation because of my normal obligatory love of Batman issues then I'd have left it on the shelf to sit and cry it's way to shame alongside Batman: The Dark Knight. (leave Scarecrow alone!!)
