The Laughter Never Dies
I don’t normally do this, but let’s look at that cover for a sec. They are REALLY dialing up the whole “Joker wants to have sex with Batman” thing past eleven aren’t they. I think it’s brilliantly done, but they missed a Golden opportunity for an homage cover to that famous Norman Rockwell painting where everyone’s having Thanksgiving Dinner. Oh well, coulda, woulda, shoulda.
We open on black panels and Joker’s dialogue in the dark. I was only kidding about Joker wanting to screw Bats, but if you read the dialogue just right, it actually does sound like Joker raped him while he was unconscious. I hope that’s not the case, but I guess now we’ll never know. Anywho, we’re at a table in an underground cave and the rest of the Bat Family is seated around the table with their faces covered. Joker’s also rigged the table to where if Bats gets up, everything goes up in flames.
To make matters worse, a mind controlled Alfred arrives to reveal that under the black hood’s the Bat Family's faces are covered in Bloody bandages. The Joker… has cut off their faces, put them on ice, and has just revealed them to the victims who were unaware that this had happened to them. If Scott Snyder and Greg Capullo aren’t careful, they may out Ennis Garth Ennis.
Batman is naturally furious at this development, yelling about how he hates the Joker more than anything in the world. The Joker doesn’t buy that and finally asks the big question, “Why haven’t you killed me?” To which Batman replies, “Because you’d win.”
…
That, is the entire nature of the Batman/Joker relationship summed up in a single exchange. Why won’t Batman kill The Joker? Because that’s what the Joker wants. Joker doesn’t want to kill Batman, not really. Joker doesn’t care about money or power or anything like that. What he really wants is to create chaos by making people kill each other. But ordinary Gotham citizen are only small game, and therefore only marginally satisfying. Batman on the other hand is a supposedly incorruptible symbol of inspiration for the city. If Batman ever kills the Joker, everything Batman had built would be lost. He’d be reduced to a simple murderer. Evidence of this line of thinking can be found all over the Batman mythos. The most commonly sighted example comes in The Dark Knight and the famous “HIT ME” scene. Not many people who don’t think this way would play chicken with a motorcycle on foot. Another example comes in one of my previous reviews, Action Comics #719. In that story Joker attempts his grand scheme with another hero, Superman, who is arguably much more of a symbol of hope than Batman. The sickest part, Superman’s rage was so great that he came much closer to killing the Joker than Batman ever had. A hero turned into a murderer, and the Joker dies with a smile. If Batman kills the Joker, The Police would have no choice but to lock him up, and I don’t think he’s going to white collar resort prison either. Even worse yet, the cops would be okay with it, and want him to do it again. Think about it, if he kills the Joker, why wouldn’t kill the others. Think about The Penguin, who, unlike the Joker, is quite sane, good at keeping his beak clean, and has access to the recourses of a vast criminal empire that could make him a much greater threat than the Joker ever was. Joker may be a monster, but it’s people like Penguin who really make Gotham a living hell. So why wouldn’t Batman kill him as well. Or what about villains like Poison Ivy or Clayface, both of whom actually have meta-human powers and could destroy Gotham with relative ease if left unchecked. They are theoretically greater threats than the Joker ever could be, so why wouldn’t Batman permanently end them. The people of Gotham may begin to turn against the Batman for not making more “exceptions” with the other monsters that plague their city, and all the while, in a forgotten back alley or a sewer somewhere, there’s the corpse of a clown, and it’s smiling.
…
While The Joker tries to bullsh*t his way out of that claim, Batman takes advantage by igniting the fire, knowing that there’s water above the caves, ruining Joker’s plans. As it turns out, Joker never carved off the faces of Batman’s wards. In a way this is worse and harkens back to that example with Superman I mentioned earlier. Not only would Batman have been driven to kill the Joker, he’d have done for no good reason. The same strategy was employed when he poisoned Lois Lane. Unfortunately, its not over yet, Joker left behind an exploding cat … yes … which explodes and unleashes Joker gas specially formulated to make the others try to tear each other apart while Batman goes after Joker.
Batman starts wailing on the Joker, more angry than he’s ever been. Joker’s final defeat comes when Batman claims that he knows who the Joker really is. He says it with such conviction that Joker has no choice but to believe him as he runs off, leaving his face behind.
The next morning, Alfred awakens, to find Bruce at his bedside. Bruce reveals that he once visited the Joker in Arkham as Bruce Wayne, and it was then he knew that the Joker never cared who Batman really was, and if either one knew the others identity, it would ruin his fun. Batman says he invited the others over for a meeting but none of them have come. We end with Batman analyzing an element found in their systems after exposure to the Joker gas, The Element’s name: Hahnium. The symbol on the periodic table:
Ha
Ha Ha Ha Ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
What Works:
This story arc has been a horrific Master Piece.
What Doesn’t:
I was going to complain because no one died as advertised, but honestly I think this ending works better.
Overall:
5/5
