Bat-Crap
I was in the mood to review another bad movie. So, Batman & Robin was the one I chose. Now before I go into it, I'm not going to lie. I actually like this movie. NOT because it's a good movie (I think it's a horrible movie), but it's so bad it gets to the point where it's kind of funny. Now, I will be going into spoilers here. I don't know how anything would be spoiled for you, but I just had to throw that out.
The Bad
I like to start with the good first. But I had to start with bad here. You know this'll be long. But let's just start, shall we?
- Batman - George Clooney Batman is possibly the worst casting ever in a superhero movie (although this movie has a few contenders). He looks and sounds nothing like Batman, was not able to provide decent fight scenes, and was just downright bad. It's much worse than I make it sound, but still. I don't know how to describe how bad he was.
- Robin - Chris O' Donnel. I have never seen him in anything else, so I'm not sure if he's a good actor. Though if I based it off of this and Batman Forever, he'd be a horrible actor. He was not a convincing Robin, looked horrible for the part (although the suit had part to do with that. More on that later), and was again bad. Although he looked like the greatest actor ever standing next to Clooney Batman.
- Batgirl - I don't even know why she's on here under that name. That was not Batgirl or Barbara Gordon. She wasn't even called that, so the movie proved my point. What idiot thought it was a good idea to turn her into Barbara Pennyworth? And everything in the movie about her was just bad. Why did she even become Batgirl? She had no training or experience. She just put on a costume and went out to help Batman and Robin against Poison Ivy. And Batman just happens to have a costume for a female her size in the cave? Did he think Barbara was going to become Batgirl the moment he saw her? Aside from all the horrible things about the character, the bad actress didn't help. Sure, Alicia Silverstone is hot. But she was a horrible Batgirl, and they couldn't even get her hair color right? Hey, let's give Thor black hair in the next Thor movie! :P
- Mr. Freeze - There were SO MANY things wrong with him. Whether it's the bad design, bad ice related puns, bad casting, etc., there was NOTHING good about it. It's a tragic story about his wife. Good. That's always been a good origin for Freeze. But then why does he make ice related puns? And don't even get me started about the sing-a-long in his headquarters...
- Batsuit - Oh God I was dreading typing this. I have one Hyphenated word. Bat-nipples. Who thought that was a good idea? It looked horrible and gay. And what was with all the close ups on their butts when they had the suits on? Even taking those two major things out of it, it still was not good. It looked like cheap plastic. Burton's costumes looked good for the time and looked like Batman. This looked like a parody of Batman you'd see in a cheap fan-made film. And why do Batman and Robin have the bat-nipples but Batgirl doesn't?
- Batmobile - In the Burton movies, the Batmobile looked realistic (well, as realistic as it could while sticking to the comics). Here (and in Batman Forever), it looked like it belongs on a Saturday morning cartoon show. Why change it?
- Commissioner Gordon - He was never good in a movie until Batman Begins. I love Burton's movie, though Gordon was not good in those. He just got worse in every movie.
- Killing the franchise - Batman & Robin could of redeemed the franchise after the God-awful Batman Forever. Nope. Instead, they decide to help kill it more. I personally feel Batman Forever is 10X worse, though Batman & Robin wasn't help for the franchise. Why ruin what Tim Burton worked so hard to make? Why even get rid of Burton Warner Bros? He wanted to make a third Batman movie dark. GOOD! That's what it needs! But no, let's go the family friendly route. NO! That's why you have Superman. But that's for another day.....
- Bane - As bad as everything else was, this has to be the worst. And that's saying something. In the comics, Bane was a genius who was able to defeat Batman in combat. He could be the epic main villain of a movie (Mr. Nolan proved that). But instead, they turn him into a mindless henchmen who can't formulate a sentence. He had terrible special affects, the costume didn't look good (did any of them though?), etc. Feel free to make your own opinion, but he is my least favorite part of this movie. Thank God the Dark Knight Rises came along and showed people how truly epic he can be.
- Gadgets - Were they trying to bring Batman back to the old Adam West days? Retractable ice-skates, bat-heat rays they just happened to have when they knew nothing about Mr. Freeze, and worst of all: the Bat-Credit Card! You heard me! He never leaves the cave without it. My reaction when I saw him pull it out was: .....WHAT!?!?!?! I'm moving onto something else before I go and break my computer.
The Good
Yes, we're finally here! I looked all over, and there are only two good things about this movie:
- Poison Ivy - I'm not sure how you feel, but I liked Uma Therman Poison Ivy. I thought she did well in the role. I think if it was just her with no Freeze or Bane, it would of been a lot better. I thought her acting was a good job, and she looked good for the role. Sure, she doesn't look as good as Ivy did in the Arkham games, but does she ever? Feel free to make your own opinion, but I really liked Ivy in the movie and thought she was the only good part of it.
- Creation of the Nolanverse - The final piece on the list. Yes, Batman & Robin was terrible. However, it was able to give us an epic trilogy of Batman movies starting with Batman Begins. Begins itself was alright, but it eventually gave us The Dark Knight Rises, the second greatest superhero movie of all time (after The Avengers). So while it itself was horrible, down the line it was good for everyone.
My Final Verdict
Well, I can understand why everyone hated it. It had a horrible cast, bad writing, and just a bad concept to begin with. Yes, the idea of Poison Ivy, Mr. Freeze, and Bane in the same movie to fight Batman, Robin, and Batgirl sounds awesome. Then you learn a little about the film. But you know what? I'm glad I've watched this. Yes, it is an awful film. But it's quite an experience to watch. You'll be sitting her just doing whatever to get your mind off of it, which is also kind of cool. But despite that, it is just not a good film.
My overall rating: 1 out of 5 stars.
