So all the talk about Thor and Wolverine taking notes from Mike Tyson has got me thinking. See, I picture THE EXPENDABLES as action movies’ answer to THE AVENGERS. Earth’s biggest badasses assembling for the first time, giving you Rambo, the Transporter and Det. John McClane in the same movie, just like JLA gives you Batman, Superman and Green Lantern in the same comic. The comparison draws attention, however, to what I think is as big of a conceit for superheroes as poorly-concealed secret identities. That is, a standard you just have to accept as part of your suspension of disbelief.
Superheroes are aspirational figures, obviously. And a lot of people aspire to be muscular and dangerous. Hence, Spider-Man, Thor, Wolverine... and basically every other cape, have larger-than-life physiques. Hence, the profiles in the Official Handbook, Who’s Who and, of course, Comic Vine’s databases will more-often-than-not include “extensive martial arts training" in the character stats. But how often does it make sense, even in these fantasy worlds?
Captain America? It makes sense. He's a super-solider who’s in so deep with his duties, you don't expect there's much to his life outside of fighting crime and training. But how many other characters do you figure will really be pumping their iron, knocking back their whey protein shakes and practicing their katas every day? If you've ever practiced a martial art, you'll know that kind of stuff is time-consuming. == TEASER ==
And I just can't picture, say, the Atom fitting all of that in between all his White Dwarf research... yet look how big the famous little man's action figure is to the right. Similarly, I always find it amusing whenever the X-Men recruited some novice, wayward teen who just happens to be able to kick highly-trained anti-mutant agents' asses?
Anyway, like I said, this is obviously just part of the game. But I couldn't help thinking, given how much the grizzled Expendables looked the part, that most superheroes would really need to be played by a Sly Stallone or a Dolph Lundgren to adequately capture their physiques in the comics. What say you, Comic Vine community?Tom Pinchuk’s the writer of HYBRID BASTARDS! & UNIMAGINABLE. Order them on Amazon here & here.
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