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Who is Spider-Man's Definitive Girlfriend?

Because he's had a few over the years.

    Getting married in costume is always a little tacky.
 Getting married in costume is always a little tacky.

The hottest button to push in fandom these days is the subject of Spidey and Mary Jane’s relationship following ONE MORE DAY. G-Man and I were talking about this recently and I'll admit that it does feel kind of weird to see Peter making out with that Carlie girl or pining after Ms. Marvel because he's been married to MJ for about as long as I’ve been alive.  

But I realize that Spidey's been around for a lot longer that.  

Wrapping my head, as a fan, around the recent announcements that Emma Stone's going to be playing Gwen Stacy in the reboot movie, and  that she'll be the only love interest there, got me to step back and look at the situation a little more holistically. Spidey got married in ’87, a full 25 years after he'd been defined as an in-over-his-head bachelor with girl problems. Doing the math, that means he's still only been a married man for less than half of his existence in print. 

When you’ve got decades and decades worth of continuous plotting, a lot of questions about what defines a character depend on when you look at him. For instance, a lot of you might say that Batman never-ever kills. How, then, do you reconcile his first appearances where he’s snapping crooks’ necks or dropping goons off buildings? Maybe those aren't consistent with later characterizations, but that's how Bob Kane envisioned the character. Who or what is the better authority on Batman? The creator? Or the majority of his appearances? == TEASER ==
    Dark knight. Caped crusader. Lady killer?
 Dark knight. Caped crusader. Lady killer?

Getting back to girls, I figure Spidey's somewhere between Superman and Batman when it comes to his M.O. Supes has been with Lois Lane, in one way or another, since day one; since ACTION COMICS #1. But Batman… he’s almost like Bond. You notice how he's got  a different love interest in every movie? If fans wanted a definitive Batman story, they'd say that the Joker would have been to be the villain and the supporting cast would have to feature Alfred, Commissioner Gordon and the like, but there would be some disagreement about who Bruce should get puppy-eyed over. Would it be Julie Madison?  Maybe Catwoman, instead? Vicki Vale? Talia al Ghul? Silver St. Cloud? What about the movie-only flames like Rachel Dawes, Chase Meridian or the Phantasm?  

The answer depends on when you read or watched Batman. 
 
Spidey, similarly, was juggling girls long before these latest ASM arcs: MJ, Gwen, Black Cat, a couple girls he dated briefly in college and, if you go all the way back to the start... Betty Brant, who was Peter's girlfriend in the earliest days of the comic. I wonder if fans at the time might have been as peeved when she and Peter broke up, only for him to basically go to Gwen immediately. It's hard to tell, for sure - - there weren't message boards back then.
   Where's the petition to  get these two back together?
Where's the petition to  get these two back together?

Maybe it’s just because Elizabeth Banks is hot, or maybe it’s because UNTOLD TALES made an impression me, but I’ve always been intrigued by the notion of her and Peter being a couple. Simply in story terms,  a teen superhero dating the older secretary of his boss just seems juicier than the classic Archie dilemma of deciding between with his class' good girl or bad girl. I don’t have the original issues, so I don’t know how much of an age difference there was supposed to be between them. She could’ve been 18 or 19 and working at the Bugle instead of going to college. Or maybe it was just the 60s and it just wasn’t considered as weird for a high schooler to be dating a post-grad young adult.

Anyway, my point with all this is that a lot of radical plot developments seem different when looked at in the context of a character's grand scheme. It's sort-of similar to to editorial G-Man did recently about mysteries in comics. Think about Wolverine. Him getting his adamantium ripped out in FATAL ATTRACTIONS was hugely controversial and we got seven years of "bone claws" before the metal got put back in him in THE TWELVE. That felt like a long stretch, at the time, but it seems pretty insignificant, now, when you consider the totality of the character. 

So, maybe this Spidey/MJ break-up will last. Maybe they'll get back together eventually. Or maybe it'll go on for so long that fans will start looking at the time they were married in the same way that they probably look at the time Wolvie was adamantium-less - - an unusual blip on the schedule. 

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comicbikerscott

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who cares?
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Nerd_Herd_Major

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Edited By Nerd_Herd_Major

I would have to say that MJ is the only character that I have ever associated with Peter Parker relationship-wise.  But this brings up a bigger question of relationships in comic books and if they get too "involved."  (pun intended)  The only marriage that ever improved with the storyline of the comic was Green Arrow and Black Canary because their relationship was so messed up all the time.  If the relationship does not add to the action of the story than it should not be a factor.  I am sorry issue 15 of Ultimate Spiderman was horrible and it dealt manly with relationships.  Time to move on, keep the marriage as a back story and come up with some more  darker villains to add to spidey's hordes.

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GundamHeavyarms

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Edited By GundamHeavyarms

To me, his definitive girlfriend will always be Mary Jane, since she was the only love interest of his (besides the Black Cat) that I knew of until I found out about Gwen. I kind of figured that Carlie would be his new girlfriend, I thought it would be an interesting twist  if they took a risk with Ms. Marvel.  (Im sure there's a fan fiction of it somewhere)  Carlie is a little dull, but fairly likable, hopefully they wont kill her off.

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DropSolo

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Edited By DropSolo
@sora_thekey said:
" @DMC said:
" @sora_thekey said:
" Take into consideration that ever since Gwen's death she has been mentioned various times over and over again. She has been the reason for a lot of fights between MJ and Pete because nobody seems to be able to compete with Gwen! "
The death of a friend/loved one will always have an impact long after the fact. You could say the same thing about Uncle Ben could you not? "
Exactly... in other words; the impact that Gwen has left on Peter is far greater than any other girlfriend he's ever had. "
What is being said is that Peter feels guilt and remorse over Gwen's fate. No other girlfriend died in his arms at the hand of his greatest foe. That sort of thing will stay with you. It doesn't make for the love of your life, though. I sometimes wonder if Pete morbidly looks at Gwen as "the one that got away". Easy to think about what might have been.
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CellphoneGirl

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Edited By CellphoneGirl

Mary Jane. 

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DropSolo

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Edited By DropSolo

Also, can't believe no one has mentioned Deb Whitman, Glory Grant, LIz Allen, Marcy Kane or Lisa Skye.

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turoksonofstone

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Edited By turoksonofstone

MJ,MJ,MJ.

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ngroove

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Edited By ngroove

    It matters not how much I would feel, sympathize, with the following over the years, peroids:  Betty Brant, Liz Allen, Gwendolyn Stacy, Debra Whitman, Black Cat ( not Felicia Hardy - she made her decision not to involve Spider-Man's ID either), the definitive, the one, true, constant, soulmate ( until almost three years ago apparently) is Mary Jane Watson ( no longer Parker added to it *silently crying*). 
   
      The rest of the gals, loved Sally Avril, Gloria Grant, Bambi, Candi, and Randi.  Marcy Kane was pretty cold, Caryn was too shameless, and the BND gals...probably each and every one of them ( Carlie, Lily, Michele, Norah, ect) either too b****y, superficial, or both.
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DMC

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Edited By DMC
@bingbangboom said:
" I bought the whole reboot of spider-man and MJ thing. It is done, maybe his best girlfriend/wife but it is in the past and there is potential with Peter and Charlie which I think is pretty cute. Do I think this will be it for him? Nope. Thing is we havn't had a real single Spider-Man to play the field with super powered women. In the end of it all, MJ knew that she and her family would always be in harms way because of their relationship and was something she couldn't deal with. Can She-Hulk? Ms. Marvel? Spider-Woman? Yes they can and more. I actually enjoyed the flirty nature of Peter and Ms. Marvel. If they ended it with Charlie, I think it would be an interesting notion considering in the Marvel Universe, Spider-Man is almost considered a joke and lower leveled hero at times. Ms. Marvel is put on a pedestal and wants to be the best. I could imagine one night they both end up married in Vegas and have to deal with it all. "
Dating a Super-Hero, and keeping Peter & MJ together at the same time. I think there was a missed opportunity here don't you?
 
No Caption Provided
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Deadcool

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DAMN I WANTED TO POST THIS...

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Demas

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Superguy1591

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Spiderman always came off a a crossbreed of Batman and Superman to me. MJ is definitely the Lois Lane of Spiderman's life. 

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TheSheepHerder

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Come hell or high water, MJ is still Spidey's girlfriend.

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Son_of_Magnus

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Edited By Son_of_Magnus

For me it's always been MJ they have been married longer than I've been alive

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HexThis

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One thing that bothers me is that usually when this debate comes up (and let's face it, it's always between Gwen and MJ) it's always this whole fire and ice argument. Gwen is chilly, pristine, and eternally wholesome while MJ is passionate, firey, and a homegirl dreamboat. 
 
Now, if you read early, early Spiderman, pre-MJ and pre-headband Gwen, you'll see Gwen's dynamic with Peter was COMPLETELY different. Gwen is sassy, she's assertive, she's not crying at every moment or as tragic as she would become, early Gwen is force to be reckoned with....
 

No Caption Provided
  See? One of their earliest encounters began with Gwen trying to take a swipe at Peter. It was only just before she died that Gwen was made to be so frail and so easily broken. Looking at it from a character standpoint, she likely started acting this way after her heart softened for Peter and a whole series of traumas came into play. From an editorial standpoint, she was about to canonized so they felt it necessary to make Gwen more demure and modest, fragile and emotional. 
 
One thing I noticed though, in looking at Gwen was that she started off firey & passionate then ended chilled and broken. MJ, who brazenly noted that Peter hit the jackpot the first time he laid eyes on her, would undergo the same transition. As soon as she was his and all the secrets were out, MJ became just as pristine and flawless as Gwen. The problem with both MJ and Gwen is that once they become committed to Peter, they forfeit their wiles and there isn't isn't any thrill in their interaction. It's a redundant editorial mistake, it's the Virgin/Whore complex.
 
Anyways, no matter who was in charge behind the scenes, it's all canonical and though he's barely matured past his teenage years STILL, I think Gwen was the love of his life. Maybe the reason he settled in MJ's arms was because she embodied what he and Gwen had at the beginning of their relationship- heat, passion, challenges, conquests. 
 
Doesn't mean he can't learn to love MJ though being that Gwen's dead. By the way, I love how Gwen coming back is pure blasphemy to people yet Bucky Barnes coming back was no big deal...his resurrection was waaaay more ridiculous.
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FadeToBlackBolt

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Edited By FadeToBlackBolt

Gwen all the way!

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god_spawn

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Edited By god_spawn  Moderator

felicia
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Outside_85

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Edited By Outside_85

MJ

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Edited By churrific

The only 2 girls for Peter are Gwen and MJ. Gwen's death was such a momentous event in the shaping of Spidey in the adult years, you could just tell how much he loved her. MJ I think is everyone's Spidey default gf. I honestly think that if they had started off with Gwen as his gf in the first movie, killed her off like she was meant to be, and then developed the Peter/MJ relationship in the 2nd and 3rd movies, it would've been a great underlying storyline for the movie franchise. Plus, there would've been less Kristen Dunst screen time.

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Mr_Faraday

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Edited By Mr_Faraday

Easy 
 
Peter Parker = Clark Kent 
 
Mary Jane = Lois Lane 
 
Gwen Stacy = Lana Lang 
 
Gwen Stacy could take the role as the definitive girlfriend but she will never be Peter Parker's one true Love. Even though I say that, I personally would like to see more of Betty Brant. She was way more interesting then Gwen and Black Cat.
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@AmazingSpiderMike said:
" Look, I have been a hardcore Spider-man fan for as long as I can remember. When it comes to relationships Peter Parker will always be associated with Mary Jane. Every other girl that comes into his life will be just another flavor of the month. C'mon, name any other girlfriend with their own catch phrase? 
 
No Caption Provided
                                                               CASE CLOSED!!!!! "
'Nuff Said!
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Edited By tonis

I agree that Betty captured a 'crushing' Peter Parker better than anyone else back in the early days. Until Gwen stepped in I very much wanted to see that match up go forward, but I gotta say the stories with Gwen that lead eventually to her death were epic and a true example of tragic heroic love. Mary Jane eventually grew on me over the late 80's but it wasn't the same 'young love' feeling that you got from Peter & Gwen. 
 
I'm also partial to his Black Cat flings, not that there was a lot of love there, but damn did she manage to spice things up on the hero side.

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Edited By Nerx

Mary jane and its okay for people to say other wise
 
except Quesada, the guy should be waterboarded for that

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schmidty207

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Peter marrying Mary Jane was the brass ring every geeky nerd who identified with Peter (cough * including me * cough) hoped for. The problems with the marriage came in when writers had already gone through whatever "soap opera" type storylines they could come up with: testing Mary Jane's faithfulness, the troubles of finding a home and keeping it, financial woes, etc...
 
Having been married for sixteen years, I'll be the first to say that yes - it is boring at times...from a reader's view...but things happen, life changes. CHILDREN ARE BORN. And in those realistic changes, stories can be told.  Good ones. So I am still burning over the hellish annulment thing, but my feeling is that Gwen will always be the "what may have been", Felicia will always be the "would if I could", and Mary Jane has been, and always will be, the perfect match for Peter. 

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Edited By Tainted-Cell

Mary Jane is the objectified wife of the story. Not the definitive girlfriend.
Gwen Stacy is Spider-man's definitive girlfriend.
Although, if we're getting into semantics, considering Gwen didn't like Spider-man.....
Spider-man's definitive girlfriend is Black Cat.
 
When Tom brought up Wolverine, I thought he was going to get into how much he's gotten around. It's like he has a calender-holiday-list that he'll bring to the door of whatever girl's door and be like "it's your turn".

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roadbuster

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Edited By roadbuster
@AmazingSpiderMike said:

" Look, I have been a hardcore Spider-man fan for as long as I can remember. When it comes to relationships Peter Parker will always be associated with Mary Jane. Every other girl that comes into his life will be just another flavor of the month. C'mon, name any other girlfriend with their own catch phrase? 
 

No Caption Provided
                                                               CASE CLOSED!!!!! "
This is a good point with respect to iconography, the stand out popular culture moments for MJ are almost always girlfriend related... showing up at the door for the first date, kissing Spider-Man upside-down in the rain, being the girl-next-door in animated renditions, etc. 
 
What is Gwen's iconography?  What are the first things that appear when you type "Gwen Stacy" into Amazon?  
 What comes up if you type in "Mary Jane" into Amazon? 
 
The contrast in their perceived mainstream iconic roles is pretty distinct. 
 
What girlfriend non-death-related iconography is there to latch onto with Gwen? 
 ---
A writer from EW breaks down GW.... whether you agree with the guy or not, he's the one reaching non-comic reading pop-culture and here's his take: 
 http://popwatch.ew.com/2010/10/06/spider-man-who-is-gwen-stacy/ 

Who is Gwen Stacy, anyways?

Stacy was a late addition to the Spider-Man mythos, first appearing as a fellow classmate when Peter Parker started attending Empire State University. Giving hope to nerds everywhere, Gwen found Peter’s smarts ridiculously attractive. (Isn’t college, like, a billiontimes better than high school?) Most of Gwen’s relatively short character history is fraught with indie-movie tragedy: Her relationship with Peter was on a perpetual spin cycle, with misunderstandings and poor circumstances constantly conspiring against the two lovebirds. Gwen was never a particularly well-rounded character in her original incarnation — when you got past her gorgeous sadness, she was boooring – but in the rebooted Ultimate universe, Gwen was reimagined as a punkish, semi-badass cool girl. It’s a good bet that Stone will be playing something closer to this later Gwen Stacy.

There’s also the important matter — Potential Spoiler Alert — of Gwen’s untimely death, one of the most defining moments in comics history. (Despite a couple of clone storylines, it’s also the one comic book fatality that hasn’t been retconned out of existence.) There are plenty of variables at work in the Spider-Man reboot, but the fact that they seem to be refocusing the storyline on Gwen could point to a more tragic storyline.  

---
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tigerex78

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Edited By tigerex78

The ultimate girlfriend is the one who sticks with you through the good and the bad and the one that you want to have forever(i.e. the one you will marry).  It is also the one that you will share everything with(i.e. secret identity).  The only person who fits this description is Mary Jane.  There is no one else who even comes close.

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Journey Into Chaos

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Even though i grew up with  the 90's spider-man cartoon and Mj was with peter I still not big on her. She's completely overrated. So if i had to choose i'd say Gwen Stacy and The Black Cat.  
Gwen; Because it was his first love. 
Black Cat; because she's awesome underrated character. Who deserves much more attention then MJ does.

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Eternal Chaos

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@Journey Into Chaos:  Lies, Betty Brant was technically his "first love". Puppy love still counts. :P
 
Anyway, his main girlfriend is MJ. Granted, I'm not that fond of the character, she's the one who was written for him. It sucks but it's true and despite how much I would absolutely love for his relationship with Felicia to blossom, we all know it won't.
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The only problem I had with the end of the marriage is that it wasn't ended because they weren't working out.
 
In fact when Miphesto (thats the one Pete made the deal with right?) was asked why he cared so much about breaking them up, he said that there were only so few real, true love marriages and that breaking this one up would be well worth it. (if someone can post a scan of this so you can actually read what he said that would be great)
 
But having him say that basically means that Pete and MJ are the real deal meant-to-be, and making them forget that was considered an act of evil.
 
Had they met with some dissatisfaction with their relationship and broke it off theirselves, then I would say anything goes.  But ending their marriage like this basically says "This was how things are supposed to be, but we want to write other stories for a while..."  It was obvious that it wasn't going to be lasting even before the relationship was really ended.

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JoseDRiveraTCR7

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@Eternal Chaos:
It was more than puppy love. He was thinking about marrying her.
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Redfield

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Edited By Redfield

The only contender MJ ever had to face was Gwen, and she's dead. Now there is MJ and only MJ, that will never change
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@mr_faraday said:
" Easy  Peter Parker = Clark Kent  Mary Jane = Lois Lane  Gwen Stacy = Lana Lang   "
Agreed so, so much.  
No matter what anyone tries to do or change, Mary Jane will always be "the one" for Peter. 
 
And honestly, the love interests they've been throwing at him post-OMD have been pathetic and quite frankly, insulting.
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@mr.obvious:
true man true
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Silver Knight75

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@mr.obvious said:
"

Spider-man's definitive girlfriend is Mary Jane, PERIOD.

"
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@batman_is_god said:
"Mary Jane. Do you have to ask? "
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Mary Jane or Gwen Stacy

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Andferne

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Mary Jane without a question and beyond any shadow of doubt.

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spidey 15

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Edited By spidey 15
@Andferne said:
" Mary Jane without a question and beyond any shadow of doubt. "
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AllNewOverseer

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@Andferne

said:

"Mary Jane without a question and beyond any shadow of doubt. "

And to top it off...

@Chris207 said:

"Peter marrying Mary Jane was the brass ring every geeky nerd who identified with Peter (cough * including me * cough) hoped for. The problems with the marriage came in when writers had already gone through whatever "soap opera" type storylines they could come up with: testing Mary Jane's faithfulness, the troubles of finding a home and keeping it, financial woes, etc...  Having been married for sixteen years, I'll be the first to say that yes - it is boring at times...from a reader's view...but things happen, life changes. CHILDREN ARE BORN. And in those realistic changes, stories can be told.  Good ones. So I am still burning over the hellish annulment thing, but my feeling is that Gwen will always be the "what may have been", Felicia will always be the "would if I could", and Mary Jane has been, and always will be, the perfect match for Peter.  "

   
Nuff said.

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andrea_mendoza1997

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I think it's Mary Jane but if Gwen hadn't died maybe it would be her .

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MichonneHack27

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@Aspenite:
Same here! I mean don't get me wrong Carlie's "okayish". But I just don't want her and him together.
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MichonneHack27

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Edited By MichonneHack27

I still believe Mary Jane's meant to be his one true love and girlfriend. I'll admit I like Black Cat and a few others more than Gwen. Gwen's a good character but they were never meant to be. The whole "sleeping with Norman Osborn and have his twins" was sorta an omen that her future was doomed.
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Edited By Mercy_
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@Andferne

said:

"Mary Jane without a question and beyond any shadow of doubt. "

And to top it off...

@Chris207 said:

"Peter marrying Mary Jane was the brass ring every geeky nerd who identified with Peter (cough * including me * cough) hoped for. The problems with the marriage came in when writers had already gone through whatever "soap opera" type storylines they could come up with: testing Mary Jane's faithfulness, the troubles of finding a home and keeping it, financial woes, etc...  Having been married for sixteen years, I'll be the first to say that yes - it is boring at times...from a reader's view...but things happen, life changes. CHILDREN ARE BORN. And in those realistic changes, stories can be told.  Good ones. So I am still burning over the hellish annulment thing, but my feeling is that Gwen will always be the "what may have been", Felicia will always be the "would if I could", and Mary Jane has been, and always will be, the perfect match for Peter.  "

   
Nuff said.

Agreed.
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fenixREVOLUTION

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Edited By fenixREVOLUTION

They can throw all the mystic stuff at it that they want, but when it's all boiled down, Peter and Mary Jane belong together.  
 
Someday they'll get it right again.

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Birthright

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Edited By Birthright

I prefer Gwen over Mary Jane anyday.
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ngroove

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Edited By ngroove

Don't know if I've posted here before; probably did; so I shall say it once more; truly I don't see how an aguement could be made from it.   Mary Jane Watson.   Other than to Quesada's eyes, she is to Peter Parker, as Lois Lane is to Clark Kent, Susan Storm-Richards is to Reed Richards, Carol Ferris is to Hal Jordan, Iris West-Allen is to Barry Allen, Mera is to Arthur Curry, and formely Betty Ross was to Bruce Banner, Jean Grey was to Scott Summers, Steve Trevor was to Diana Prince, Vision was to Wanda Maximoff, and Jean Loring was to Ray Palmer. 
 
Gwendolyn Stacy, Betty Brant, Black Cat, maybe even Debra Whitman, however, works great also, had their special moments, but for today, keep them "untold tales".
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Deadcool

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Edited By Deadcool

Gwen Stacy, because Peter will always remember her as the girl that he killed, his love.


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mewmdude77

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Edited By mewmdude77

I get how people like to say its MJ, but he sacrificed his marriage to her for his sick elderly aunt who will still die eventually!! If he really loved her deep down, he would not have made the deal!! But if you look throughout, he has never forgotten his first true love (Gwen Stacey) and he still loves her!!! I sort of like Peter being unattached. It makes him more down on his luck like he was before. He is a major player and gets more chicks then Tony Stark and Bruce Wayne combined!!! If I had to pick who he loves most in a list I would put Gwen Stacey as #1, MJ as #2, Black Cat as #3, etc.

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mewmdude77

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Edited By mewmdude77
@MysterioMaximus:  I completely agree with you about Gwen being a greater impact on Peter. Like in house of M, when they got all of their greatest desires who was his wife? Oh What thats right... It was Gwen!!!   
Also, Has anyone noticed pretty much the only people who don't come back to life in Marvel are Gwen and Uncle Ben! They made so much of an impact on Peter that they can't come back! If she hadn't of been killed by the Green Goblin then Peter and Gwen might have gotten married eventually!