The 5: Items That Grind My Gears

They do serve a purpose, and it's usually to sell tie-in merchandise. The Spidey Buggy is a prime example. That was created for the toy. 

Ah, the decades of cheesy hero-related vehicles & general paraphernalia that just screams 'merchandise me!'... It reminds me of Christmasses past. 
 
As for capes, you're right.  The Incredibles is right.   They're hideously impractical... and a death trap waiting to happen!

I agree with the capes, too bad they look so friggin cool!

" I agree with the capes, too bad they look so friggin cool!

"

Depends capes can have their uses.From gliding to bulet resistance as well as a negative morale efect on villians. 
 
Batcycle can go places a car can not.Easy to hide as well compared to a car.Spiderman dune buggy tho well um theirs not always someting to swing from on the desert?

if it weren't for the Spider buggy than Old Man Logan and Hawkeye would have had to hitch hike across america

The next Batman's vehicle ?

" @Tyler Starke said:

" I agree with the capes, too bad they look so friggin cool!
"

"It weighs a ton" Then why bother Dick? "

"   Undies on the outside of the costume, the old gripe many people have.  Iniitially artists drew these because they based comic characters on wrestlers, strongmen, and other athletes of the time.    An affectation that doesn't seem will disappear but I wish would.   Give my super heroes pants! "

Yeah the Spidey Mobile is ridiculous. 
 I've never liked the Bat-Cycle either, but I can see why he would have it. He's rich. He owns a Bat form of every other form of transportation. Why not, really?

As a huge Spider-Man fan that I am, even I have to cringe at the Spidey Mobile.

everything but....
 
Spider-Mobile= it was created for one reason...the exact one you said for 
Force Works Jet and the Bat-Cycle...except, it was made intentionally as a parody 
of the fact that every superhero gets a vehicle as a cliche'. thats was its whole reason for being.
it was a goofy Spider themed vehicle and to top it off, it was built by a company wanting to cash in
on Spider-Man (hence making fun of the part we're vehicles were made for profit alone, same as
your theory for the others). likewise it failed Spider-man miserable, since above all else he is a
crappy driver. in other words the writers we're intentionally making fun of that fact by making it.
and why of course they didnt keep it.

Bat-Cycle= it qualifies for a themed vehicle done for the reason of getting cash, that much is true.
best way to make money on the Batmobile. make two! but really it does have a good function any
cape crusader would want. sidewalks and alleyways. especially alleyways. the only way a driver
can drive a car sideways through an alleyway is if they situate it sideways first, meaning they have 
to ramp off something and in real life, this must be pre-prepared. Batman does do that alot, but
that doesnt mean his ramps are going to stay there, and Gotham has alot of alleys. Batcycle wouldnt
have that disadvantage.
 
the other ones pretty much suck yes.

"

"

" @Dro: Of his cousin?... "

I like the capes, the watch and the motor cycle.... But there was never a reason for Spidey to have a flippin' car!

Didn't the movies give Batman's cape a purpose?  Gliding and junk, and he used it to protect himself against a huge fireball in "Batman Forever".  You're telling me they don't use that at all in the comics?
 
I'm a little more mindful of the rest of the suit.  C'mon, Bats!  A blue speedo on top of grey spandex with hooker boots?  Sure you use it to scare villains, but I promise, they're not scared in the way you think. 
 
Batman has a stealth jet that can drop him off anywhere and fly itself home.  What the heck does he need a motorcycle for?  To cruise for chicks?  

i only agree with teh spider-mobile

How about Wonder Woman's bracelets. I mean, she can take punches from Superman, right? What's a bullet gonna do to her?

Besides Batman, i guess capes only work for characters that are somehow royalty
Magneto or Dr Doom for instance. Magneto doesn't get his hands dirty that often, he usually employs his magnetism, so they cape shouldn't bother him. Dr Doom as ruler of Latveria, being some kind of tyrant king, can use a cape, it makes him look "important"
 
For the rest of the items, i agree. BUT I think in  Old man Logan Hawkeye and Logan use the Spidey Mobile, and it was pretty cool. When this cheesy objets are used elsewhere, they kinda become a good reference, and they can even become cool.
 
Imagine an Apocalyptic Elseworld story were the only way Bats could communicate with whatever other heroe is left, is with Jimmy's watch. Then it wouldn't be that stupid, and it actually make sense, saving a lot of time explaining where Bats got tech on a world with no electricity. 
 
I think new stories don't have that many non sense objects, they are more form the golden/silver age

Hehe, you're so right about the Spider Buggy. The concept was only redeemed for me when I read Old Man Logan. (But in this one it was really great if you ask me)

Like a lot of the people said above, capes serve a purpose for Batman. Bruce used it to deflect bullets and hide, while Dick has a lighter model that he uses to glide and stay hidden as well.

1. Capes: Batman for example has a cape that is fire resistant. Go idea for the mean streets of Gotham where bums throw flaming garbage because that's what bums do.
2. Batcycle: Yo, Bruce Wayne has some coin. I like the fact he'll buy stuff and claim it will be used for crime fighting.
3. Hex Jet: Inflight movies are just part of the perks of being a super hero.
4. Signal Watch: Jimmy gets in trouble a lot. Superman likes to mess with Jimmy and give him a false sense of security. So when Jimmy is under siege by Intergang, Superman and Lois are getting busy.
5. Spider-Buggy: (A little play on word... even though spiders aren't bugs) Sometimes you go to get out of the city. Summer in the Hamptons perhaps. Peter Parker is a cat who likes his options (Gwen vs. MJ, just saying).

Nightwing was Dick Grayson 
Red robin is Tim Drake 
 
2 different robins

Haha, love the Werewolf by night line!

" Besides Batman, i guess capes only work for characters that are somehow royalty Magneto or Dr Doom for instance. Magneto doesn't get his hands dirty that often,  "

I did a list about objects that sound like private parts.

Objects That Sound Dirty

When you're fighting crime or making crime happen you don't always have time to name thing properly. More often than not you'll give an object a name that describes it well but neglect to think that name sounds dirty. Here are some examples.

	1. Mother Box My mother is a saint.
	2. Boom Tube A Boom Tube is created by a Mother Box and goes through an interstellar portal. Any questions?
	3. Cosmic Divining Rod "The device has the ability to detect and drain a Green Lantern's energy. It can then fire this energy in destructive blasts." Yup. yup, it does.
	4. Vibranium It's the ladies choice.
	5. Brainiac's Skull Ship ...okay this one might not actually be dirty.

The Spidey-Mobile the only thin I have a problem with.

The spidey-mobile grinds my gears based on that list. Although, I did have the spidey-mobile remote controlled car.

Capes serve a purpose. It blocks Superman's bright red ass whenever he's turned around.

I know it's supposed to be all ha-ha funny and all. I get it. And everything you mentioned is kinda worthless. (although the Hex jet could have a lot of uses in the field, for example a portable medical bay)
 
But they are all exceptionally cool and I'd rather be a superhero with them than without them!

If the Bat Motorbike was something like a scrambler, small light and able to manouver throguh sidestreets etc easy, I could understand.  
 
They made them illegal to ride on the roads here because they make it too easy for criminals to escape the police without air cover, and theres a police division that rides them because it makes catching fleeing suspects/criminals easier.  They serve a purpose.
 
That big bulky bike though, doesnt.

Batman's cape serves tons of purposes both defensive and offensive just some writers like to forget about that. Plus they look super cool and that is all that matters

I. Capes: Bats uses his cape like a shield kinda... to protect himself from harm, yes... he can use that material on his costume... which he does... the costume is 2nd shield... and Cape is number one... or vice versa... and He also uses the cape to hide his moves... u kno... hide his body so tha villain doesnt kno what fist will he use to punch and etc...
 
II.Batcycle: If his Plane and car breaks down... the BAtcycle is the BAck Up ride...
 
III. Hex Jet: people get tired... it be really dumb to FLy across the US...to fight some disaster and show up tired because u had to carry someone the entire time... and fly... 
 
IV. Signal Watch: yea i dunno what to say...
 
V. People get tired... Have u tried to swing threw NYC everyday... A man gets tired OK... Leave Spidey alone... Why don't u walk all the time?

I love capes, but i will agree on everything else lol

The Capes being a stupid accessory to the costume originally came from Watchmen, not The Incredibles, Dollar Bill gets his cape stuck in a revolving door while trying to stop a robbery and is killed.

"Hop on someone’s back who can fly and get to the bad guy that way  "

@inferiorego:

Superman's reaction to overuse of the 'signal-watch'

The Spider-Mobile honest to god doesn't bother me. You have to actually read the issue in which it appeared, which I doubt many have, it's actually meant to be an intelligent satire of the oftentimes shamelessly questionable marketing superheroes can be exploited for. Peoples complains of it are taken entirely out of context. It was intended as a joke. So really it’s not so much meant to be taken literally, more like a jab at the sell-outs aspects of the industry. Spider-Man begrudgingly took it on, knowing it was absolutely absurd.   

Capes don’t bother me so much either. I mean sure…from a practical standing point they’re usually pretty damn hindering. But common…it’s not really supposed to be realistic. It’s all relative. When I’m reading about guys who can shoot laser beams out of their eyes and blind men that can jump off rooftops, capes I can buy. Plus they have actually tried to make them more reasonable, like Batman Begins and the memory-cloth cape.    

some capes have theer uses sucha as the hoods and spawns most are pointless, i never understood while people who could fly would use a jet myself  eitehr, and the batcycle is lame why would you ever pick that over the btamobile unless it was out of petrol