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The 5: Comic Book Replicas Out of My Price-Range

If you guys really like me, you'd buy it all for me...

 This guy could afford all of this stuff, but only if he doesn't roll doubles three times.
 This guy could afford all of this stuff, but only if he doesn't roll doubles three times.
Back in February, I mentioned some comic book items I'd love to own. Now, none of these technically existed, so it was just a fun game of "imagine the possibilities." Out with the old and in with the new I say! It's a new day, and after searching the internet for what seemed like seconds, I found some comic book item replicas that I would love to own, and almost all of them are out of my price range.
 
Companies like DC Direct and Marvel have started to appeal to their fans that aren't affected by the recession and light cigars with $1,000 bills by making replicas of some of our favorite items from comics. And while we drool at them, like a kid at Christmas staring in the department store window at the choo-choo trains, some of the more affluent comic fans buy these up and use them for their nephew's target practice with their Civil War rifles. Before I get too far off-topic here, let's pretend we all had lots of money. Now I feel better. Here's five of the MANY replicas found on the intraweb that I would love to own.
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DC Direct's Bat Signal

Admit it, growing up, at least once or twice, you tried to take a flashlight and some paper and make a Bat signal of your own, in the fort you made in your living room. Well, for the low low price of $395, you could own your very own replica of the Bat signal! Made by DC Direct and part of the JLA Trophy Room Collection, this puppy is 12'' tall and can project the Bat signal where ever you like. I also has a cooling fan and replacement bulb, just in case.
 
 
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Captain America's Shield (1940s Version)

Being the big Captain America fan that I am, I'm always on the lookout for sweet Cap stuff, and for me, this is the end-all be-all in Captain America replicas. This sweet 15 pound shield is 30 by 24 inches and will cost you $350. Obviously, $350 is chump change, especially when it comes to beating up Nazis. No price is too small then. The shield sits on a plaque, and yes, it is removable. And while it's made of steel and not vibranium (was the original made out of vibranium though?) this shield will still pack a punch as you smack the neighborhood bully in the face. 

 
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Stormbreaker Replica

Move over Thor! this hammer is so much cooler! While many of you may enjoy Mjolnir. Nothing says "check out how rich I am" like a golden hammer, normally wielded by Beta Ray Bill. This 11 pound beauty is a foot and a half long, and it will cost you $350. Not only will you look good swinging this around in your backyard on a Sunday afternoon, you'll look like you have a nice solid bank account as well. Plus, most people won't even know this is comic book related, since Beta Ray Bill isn't a very popular character. 
 
 
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Thor's Helmet

BOOSH! How are you going to swing around Stormbreaker without looking the part? Obviously, those aren't real wings on the helmet, but who cares. This $300 (or $260 on Amazon) piece of Thor-tastic replication can be yours! However, I wouldn't recommend wearing it for long periods of time, since it weights 13 pounds. You may strain your neck. It also states that this is a wearable Thor helmet, but I have a huge head. Would it fit me or my big-headed brethren? 
 
 
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9th Doctor's TARDIS

Yes, this was used in the actual show. And although it may not be bigger on the inside, you can still tell all your friends that it is, but they can never go inside because they simply aren't worthy. According to io9, this singular TARDIS from the first season of the new series is estimated to go for between $12,000 to $18,000 in an auction that is happening June 23rd at Bonhams. The real question here is "who wants to buy InferiorEgo a TARDIS?" I would learn to sleep standing up-right, just so I could say I slept in a TARDIS. I'm serious. This is the ultimate Doctor Who collectible, unless you have Sylvester McCoy locked in your basement, so you better believe some of the richer Who fans are going to be all over this. Or, if I win the lotto in the next two days, I'll be all over it.
 
There you have it. A whole bunch of super-awesome replicas that I really want, but I'll never be able to afford. What about you guys? Have you seen replicas from your favorite comics that are a little too far out of your price range? Let's see them!
 
 
~Mat "InferiorEgo" Elfring is a comedian, teacher, comic book writer, comic store employee, and trying to find $18,000 for his TARDIS purchase.