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Off My Mind: What Happened to Superman & Big Barda's 'Special' Videotape?

Superman claimed to have no recollection afterwards but perhaps he was trying to avoid an awkward situation.

Comic books have always have a wide variety in stories and plots. Every once in a while things could get extremely bizarre. The Golden and Silver Age comics contained numerous wacky and absurd stories but there was a Superman story that happened in the 80s and it's hard to believe it actually happened.

A few weeks ago, writer James Robinson sat in our our podcast. He brought up a strange issue of ACTION COMICS written and drawn by John Byrne. Somehow I had blanked out the existence of this two part story that was published in 1987.

No Caption Provided

The quick summary of what happened is Big Barda was on Earth, fell under the control of a former henchmen of Darkseid named Sleez and she was forced to record some footage of a questionable nature. To make matters worse, Superman was pulled into Sleez's scheme and a very special Superman movie was about to be made. Despite DC's 'The New 52' and the slight relaunch of the DC Universe, the question remains, what were the repercussions of this event and shouldn't it have been made into a bigger deal in the comic universe?

== TEASER ==

The story takes place in ACTION COMICS #592 & 593. Sleez had the power to mentally control his adversaries. Despite being strong willed, Barda was no match for Sleez. The first thing he did with her upon putting her under his control was had her wear a lot of make up and dance around for him in a skimpy outfit.

While you don't actually see it happen, apparently Sleez had videotaped the dance and took them to an associate of his that distributed videos of an...adult nature. This video tape made it's way to Darkseid.

No Caption Provided

Darkseid didn't take any time in bringing this video to the attention of Barda's husband, Mr. Miracle. The first question might be how exactly did Darkseid come across an adult video tape distributed by a small shop in Metropolis? Apparently his agents acquired the tape. It wasn't made clear if this was a normal duty Darkseid's agents had to perform. Does this mean Darkseid has a large collection of amateur video tapes in his personal library? Unfortunately for Mr. Miracle, he is shocked to see his wife performing...whatever exactly she was performing in that video tape.

Where Superman comes into the picture is he was investigating a strange radiation emission coming from Sleez linked to some hospital patients nearby (they're not important in all this). Superman was quickly put under Sleez's mind control and both Superman and Barda were taken to a movie director. It was Sleez's hope that the money made off of a movie starring the two of them would be enough to forge an army.

No Caption Provided

Mister Miracle soon begins to track down his wife. It's not clear how much time has passed and how much actual filming has taken place. We see the director outraged over the lack of passion between the two mind-controled heroes.

No Caption Provided

Apparently the lack of passion is Superman's fault. The filmmaker says he lacks sex appeal and Sleez realizes that he must be trying to resist his mind control. Barda was shown as having a strong will as well. Does this mean her strong will still wasn't strong enough to resist or did some part of her deep down not mind being in Superman's arms.

Scott Free soon finds and crashes the set before things can go further. It appears he arrived just in time. Whether or not this is the first scene filmed or not, we'll never know. The makeshift studio would likely be looked over to make sure any footage is destroyed but because both were under mind control, they can't say for certain if any footage actual was saved.

Superman tries to capture Sleez but it appears he chose to end his life rather than be captured. Superman attempts to discuss what happened with Barda. He claims his memories are foggy but there was the possibility that something happened. Barda felt it was best to leave it at that (maybe because her husband was watching and listening attentively).

No Caption Provided

What happened to the filmmaker? Was he arrested? If so, on what charges? Would Superman and Barda testify that they were forced to act in front of a camera while under the influence of a mind-controling alien that apparently blew himself up? Most likely the guy had the appropriate filmmaking license to make and distribute films of this sort of nature. If any footage remained, he could make a fortune since superheroes are the equivalent of celebrities in our world. But doing so would also reignite the wrath of Barda and Superman.

The other question is, did Barda and Scott ever discuss this afterwards? Was Barda able to resist Sleez's control but part of her didn't want to because Superman was involved? Perhaps this is a reason to be thankful 'The New 52' has swept some past events under the carpet.

103 Comments

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Herokiller12344

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The fact that Darkseid has an underling in charge of porn is just the funniest thing.

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Squalleon

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Edited By Squalleon

@TheCrowbar: i have one :-P(for real)

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TheCrowbar

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Edited By TheCrowbar

I found the tape! Now if only I could find a VCR...

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sethysquare

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Edited By sethysquare

@BlackWind said:

@sethysquare said:

Superman should totally have dated Big Barda in new 52. I was thinking they could show him dating Barda for a while in between the 5 years.

Lol, Barda wouldn't date Superman.

they already dated sorta before.

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BlackWind

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Edited By BlackWind

@sethysquare said:

Superman should totally have dated Big Barda in new 52. I was thinking they could show him dating Barda for a while in between the 5 years.

Lol, Barda wouldn't date Superman.

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sethysquare

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Edited By sethysquare

Superman should totally have dated Big Barda in new 52. I was thinking they could show him dating Barda for a while in between the 5 years.

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Skewer

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Edited By Skewer

Its basically labelled among one of the worst superman stories ever written, right up there with the red and blue supermen, the electric blue and superman: at earths end.

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War07

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Edited By War07

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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BR_Havoc

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Edited By BR_Havoc

And you wonder why Jack Kirby hated this story line.

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entropy_aegis

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Edited By entropy_aegis

Guess Darkseid was bored.

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WaveMotionCannon

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Edited By WaveMotionCannon
@TheWitchingHour

There's no way Barda is getting off Scott Free after this...

@TheWitchingHour
Funny play in words.
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Omega Ray Jay

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Edited By Omega Ray Jay

Lol, funny stuff

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megamoses10

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Edited By megamoses10

i wouldn't mind to watch a porno featuring big barda:)

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BatteredArmor

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Edited By BatteredArmor

@CaioTrubat said:

@BlackArmor said:

@CaioTrubat said:

@BlackArmor said:

It's just one of those things we pretend never happened. What didn't happen, I have no idea what your talking about, wink wink nudge nudge

Just like that time when She-Hulk and Juggernaut got hooked up?

Whaaaaat? c'mon you have some weird dreams man, That never happened * whistling*

No Caption Provided

Well since a picture is worth a thousand words...

ummmmmm uh that sure is some good fan art great drawing, I'm glad that never happened in the actual comics *whistling*

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CATPANEXE

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Edited By CATPANEXE

Sure, I'm not quite awake yet, I'll take it seriously. So your thought to mind is how would this reason in the new DCnU continuity G-Man? The new edgy mature DCnU?

Modern days and I'm not even being slightly off-beat either, Superman, Big Barda, and any other super character that has any kind of celebrity status would probably hang out with most other celebrities and attend their parties and what not, including the likes of Ron Jeremy and the adult entertainment industry so when this " master plan " came to fruition Superman and Barda would pretty much shrug their shoulders, say " And...? ", and some nice lawyer friends would swoop in, in part on behalf of the United States government and take care of whatever loose ends, suing Sleez. In fact in real life in modern times you would just as easily be able to swap Kirby and his wife in Superman and Barda's position, and Byrne into Sleezes.

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Inverno

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Edited By Inverno

@BlackArmor said:

@CaioTrubat said:

@BlackArmor said:

It's just one of those things we pretend never happened. What didn't happen, I have no idea what your talking about, wink wink nudge nudge

Just like that time when She-Hulk and Juggernaut got hooked up?

Whaaaaat? c'mon you have some weird dreams man, That never happened * whistling*

No Caption Provided

Well since a picture is worth a thousand words...

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redmanta

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Edited By redmanta

i just got the tape and wow just wow i didn't know that superman can do that

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pahphoenix

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Edited By pahphoenix

I am checking the net as we speak for this video. Should be there with Pam,Tommy,and Paris.

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allison_scag

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Edited By allison_scag

Well not surprised...every one has a sex tape these days.

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Daveyo520

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Edited By Daveyo520

Tony's mind is always in the gutter.

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MrDirector786

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Edited By MrDirector786

@RedheadedAtrocitus said:

When Worlds Collide..and footage is shared across realities...

LOL

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johnny_spam

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Edited By johnny_spam

It will return in Multiversity or maybe Batman discovers it like he discovered the radion bullet.

"It is the ultimate archetypal pornography, all pornography. It was a magazine it was a videotape and now it is streamed."

Soon the JLA discover that because it was made with Fourth World beings this film survived Flashpoint. The heroes of Earth learn Sleez has mind controlled many superheroes over the years to make many pornos all must unite to wipe all of their films from existence before they are sold in flea markets.

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Kairan1979

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Edited By Kairan1979
@BlackArmor said:

@CaioTrubat said:

@BlackArmor said:

It's just one of those things we pretend never happened. What didn't happen, I have no idea what your talking about, wink wink nudge nudge

Just like that time when She-Hulk and Juggernaut got hooked up?

Whaaaaat? c'mon you have some weird dreams man, That never happened * whistling*

Right, they used their favorite excuse "It wasn't me, it was my double from another dimension". I don't buy it.
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BatteredArmor

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Edited By BatteredArmor

@CaioTrubat said:

@BlackArmor said:

It's just one of those things we pretend never happened. What didn't happen, I have no idea what your talking about, wink wink nudge nudge

Just like that time when She-Hulk and Juggernaut got hooked up?

Whaaaaat? c'mon you have some weird dreams man, That never happened * whistling*

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Emperor Gonzo Noir

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Emperor Gonzo Noir

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@TheWitchingHour said:

There's no way Barda is getting off Scott Free after this...

*ba dum ching*

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ThanosIsMad

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Edited By ThanosIsMad

@TheWitchingHour said:

There's no way Barda is getting off Scott Free after this...

Quadruple entandre.

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RedheadedAtrocitus

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When Worlds Collide..and footage is shared across realities...

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dewboy01

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Edited By dewboy01

Any room for one room?

If so, can I join the fun?!

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GraveSp

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Edited By GraveSp

I prefer a DC universe where Superman has a sex tape.

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RedheadedAtrocitus

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That's what Superman said..and hence now we all know why Barda has that particular adjective in front of her namesake...

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AlwaysBeClothing

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save.me.now

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Edited By save.me.now

This is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever seen. This is like daytime soap opera level. All-time low for comics. All time low for the people writing about this. All time low for people like me who are commenting on it. This is the comic book equivalent of someone making a viral video about a dead body they dug up to dance the waltz with...

but it's just so awesome.

It's also an All time high in my opinion. Darkseid comes to Scott Free's doorstep, is he tearing people's head off with his pinky finger? Enslaving armies with the anti life equation? Blasting people with his Omega beams? No, he's got a little VHS/Beta Max tape that Scoot Free needs to see. This should have been on the comicvine to 50 moments list. It even Tops Ult. Cap's "This A doesn't stand for France! Classic. This is journalism right here.

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JonesDeini

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Edited By JonesDeini

Pretty sure Zero Hour wiped this little two parter out of continuity. And boy was Kirby EVER pissed at Byrne for this, as he modeled Barda after his wife and all. I've heard tale that their relationship never recovered from this. Linkara did an awesome review of these issues on ATTFW.

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krilling

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Edited By krilling

"Man of Steel" gains an absolutely new meaning after this..

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Inverno

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Edited By Inverno

@BlackArmor said:

It's just one of those things we pretend never happened. What didn't happen, I have no idea what your talking about, wink wink nudge nudge

Just like that time when She-Hulk and Juggernaut got hooked up?

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daredevil21134

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Edited By daredevil21134

1 Nite in Barda

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missmandygreen

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Edited By missmandygreen

erased just like the rest of dc histrory

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Video_Martian

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Edited By Video_Martian

@BlackArmor said:

Not sure if this appropriate but I don't care
Not sure if this appropriate but I don't care
No Caption Provided

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!

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Nova`Prime`

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Edited By Nova`Prime`

Another super power of Superman's super wife stealing.

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Judge_Dredd

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Edited By Judge_Dredd

Damn this is juicy! This is the comic journalism I'm looking for, they can't sweep this under the rug folks.

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Pharoh_Atem

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Edited By Pharoh_Atem

LOL

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conan2099

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Edited By conan2099

Can't help it, Superman has to much swag.

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lord_canti

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Edited By lord_canti

i remember linkara talking about this its still the only moment in comics that has actually infuriated me

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MysteriousBlack

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Edited By MysteriousBlack

@BlackArmor said:

Not sure if this appropriate but I don't care
Not sure if this appropriate but I don't care
No Caption Provided

That is very funny.

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MysteriousBlack

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Edited By MysteriousBlack

That is something you don't see every day.

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lykopis

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Edited By lykopis

O_O

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LP

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Edited By LP

THAT........ KIND OF AWESOME.

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Maki_P

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Edited By Maki_P

Personally I always enjoyed the idea that you could find a "funny" video of Superman and Barda if you looked hard enough. But I am grateful that was erased with the Reboot

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mikex20

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Edited By mikex20

Darkseid's agents didn't scour Metropolis looking for porn. Sleez was one of Darkseid's lesser minions, and he was far from being human. Darkseid bannished Sleez to Earth, Sleez attempted to "please" Darkseid through the humiliation of Big Barda (another former Darkseid minion) and Superman (one Darkseid's greatest enemies).

As far as where the tape is now, my guess would be Batman or Maxwell Lord having it.