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Off My Mind: Nannies for Superheroes

What do heroes do with their kids when they're out saving the world?

It's not often that superheroes get the chance to settle down and have kids. Some heroes are able to do it like Mister Fantastic and the Invisible Woman. Others like Spider-Man and Mary Jane have their babies taken away, or simply have their marriage erased from existence. One couple that did recently have a baby is Luke Cage and Jessica Jones.  
 
Jessica gave up on the superhero game a while back. Since she's been with Luke and the New Avengers, it was only a matter of time until she admitted to herself that being a hero was still in her system. The problem is, what does a superhero couple do with their kids when they're out saving the world?  
 
In New Avengers #7, Luke and Jessica will decide that the time has come for them to get a nanny. They can't just get any nanny. They need a superpowered nanny. Who would make the perfect candidate?  
 == TEASER ==
In the past, Reed and Sue Richards used Agatha Harkness to watch over little Franklin Richards. With all the magic and dark arts she has at her disposal, anyone would have to be crazy to try to mess with any children under her care. The problem is, Agatha hasn't always been completely stable. There's also the matter of what her current wereabouts are and is she the "Aunt Agatha" that the Scarlet Witch mentioned to Clint Barton back in New Avengers (first series) #26?  
 
Another nanny that the Fantastic Four hired turned out to be a semi-crazed Sue Richards from 500 years in the future. Perhaps Luke and Jessica shouldn't ask the FF for any suggestions.  
 
For some reason, Elektra comes to mind. She may not be exactly mother material, but you know if she can take on a room full of the Hand, she could probably take care of an infant. Elektra did take in a young runaway in her series in the 90s. It would really depend on what "version" of Elektra we currently have. Besides, the recent Marvel teasers place her as an assassin for hire instead of a child care provider.  
 
Let's not stick with the stereotypes and say the nanny has to be female. What about Hank McCoy, the Beast? He's super smart. He may not be an expert in infants but could easily read up and adapt to the new situation. He has a soft and caring side to him and his warm fur would be perfect for any child to cuddle up against. He's shown a fierce side as well which would make him good for protecting the kid against enemies. I just wonder if Beast would be willing to quit the Secret Avengers and if Luke and Jessica would want to clean up any fur that he sheds.  
 
Maybe Luke and Jessica should just take turns watching their little girl. Being a hero places a giant target on yourself. That also makes their child a target.  Could they live with themselves knowing that they were out trying to save the world but weren't there for their own child? It almost makes you wonder if they would be better off having a team of nannies instead of just one.  
 
We shall soon find out who they choose as their nanny. It's a tough decision they're facing. They owe it to the world to use their gifted abilities to protect those that can't fend for themselves against the evil menaces lurking about. It just seems that they should be placing a higher priority over their own child. Let's hope they make a wise choice.  
 
Who do you think would make a good nanny for superpowered parents?
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Posted by Deadknight

Eh, the Fantastic Four may not have the bast track record with nannies, but they do have the most experience. It does seem likely that Cage and Jessica will go to them for advice, though they could simply ask for some security measures that Reed uses to keep his kids safe during attacks.  
Wait! Perfect nanny:
 

Considerably caring of others, and also has the (unbelievable) rep of taking down Dr. Doom, MODOK, and Thanos on her own. In an eery way, it makes a lot of sense...
Edited by ComicMan24
@Deadknight: lol It is a surprisingly nice choice.
Posted by dondasch

Bane or Deadpool are obviously the most qualified candidates.

Posted by comicbikerscott

a nanny cool
Posted by tgaxgriffenx
Edited by Doctor!!!!!

Superheroes  need nannies all the time, with superpowers of course. 
Like Deadpool... 
It makes you think, what about supervillians?

Posted by goatman2112

Didn't Lian Harper used to have various nannies? why don't you just see who's watching her at the moment...

Posted by ComicMan24
@goatman2112: She is dead.
Posted by The_Martian

The Inhumans are the best baby sitters. Just ask the Fantastic Four.

Posted by Mutant God

I say it should be a hero marvel hasn't use in a long time.
Edited by Shadow_Thief

Hmm...what if a team of B-listers started up a superhero babysitting service; something along the lines of "Heroes for Hire," but willing to change diapers? They don't need to be heavy hitters, just competent enough to act as a deterrent to anyone thinking a superhero's kid would be an easy target.

Posted by Sobe Cin

why do they need a nanny, doesn't Jessica just take the bady over to her mom's place- at least that seems to be the case through out the run of New Avengers that I have read. And if they truly do need a nanny, hire out Wind Dancer, with the New Warriors comic cancelled, the depowered mutant could probably use a job.
Posted by Illyana Rasputin
Posted by GothamRed

Maybe the Scarlet Witch will become stable again and she can do it, she has show that she can care for children, imaginary one, but still children

Posted by Metatron_Da_Don
Posted by ForbushBug

I like the Beast idea. He was gung ho about Ms. Marvel's baby back in the day. I'd also like to see it be a blast from Cage's past like Vienna.

Posted by ironshadow

Elektra was the nanny of Havok and Madelyne Pryor's son in the Mutant X universe.

Posted by Mutant God
@ForbushBug:
Ms Marvel had a baby?
Posted by Duo_forbidden

Luke and Jessica could always use Spider-man to babysit. After all, he was doing a fantastic job taking care of Norman and Lily's kid lol. Plus, its not like he's doing much in the Avengers anyway.

Posted by Joe Venom

No one is a better nanny then Cable! not only will the child benefit from protection but its also like military school
 

                               There's safe, and then there's Cable safe
Posted by G-Man
@ironshadow said:
" Elektra was the nanny of Havok and Madelyne Pryor's son in the Mutant X universe. "
That must be what I was thinking. I couldn't figure out why I was picturing her as a nanny.
Staff
Posted by SlightConfuse

Squirrel Girl is the new nanny. tho i think that Rouge would be a good one for some reason

Posted by Gambit1024

Well Reed and Sue had The Inhumans watch Franklin and Valeria, so not ALL their selections were terrible.  
 
Let Wolverine do it. He's good at multitasking.... 

Posted by tonis

seems the Avengers should start talking about some benefits and asking about employee daycare. They don't necessarily have to have super powers to watch a child, unless of course that kids going to start throwing half the room around.

Posted by blaakmawf

Alfred is technically a nanny isn't he?

Posted by gui22

 @G-Man: " Perhaps Luke and Jessica shouldn't ask the FF for any suggestions."
 LOL!You think?

Posted by Anthony Robson92

Perhaps they should do as Tigra has. The Cat People seem to be impossibly obscure so no worries about them being found babysitting.
Posted by NightFang

I say dope the kids off at the grandparents, other heroes or police officer home and let them watch the kids.

Edited by Mainline
@G-Man said:      

 1. They need a superpowered nanny. Who would make the perfect candidate?

 2. What about Hank McCoy, the Beast? He's super smart.    
 3. Could they live with themselves knowing that they were out trying to save the world but weren't there for their own child?  
 4. It almost makes you wonder if they would be better off having a team of nannies instead of just one."
 
I didn't answer this one right away because it was hard thinking of super powered Marvel characters that have the human characteristics you'd want passed on to a child, that are sufficiently attentive and undistracted by larger responsibilities, and with a relevant powerset to keep a child safe.  After deliberation I think the best candidate would be Shadowcat or Kitty Pryde (with the caveat that she overcome her current status).  
  
Uncanny X-Men #522

 Kitty is the most human and normal of the X-Men, the most well adjusted, the least baggage, and her tenure as a teacher during Astonishing means she can relate to children.  Given her recent trauma she'd probably want to give the hero thing a backseat and she doesn't have any active responsibilities, so caring for a child with special needs would be right up her alley.  Her powerset's application here needs no explanation.  When things get hairy she can all but promise the child's absolute safety out of phase with the harms of the world.  Otherwise, she's a perfectly normal woman... pretty much what you'd want your kid to be raised by. 
 
Additionally, Lockheed would make an awesome additional guardian to any child and inject just a little bit of weirdness into the kid's life making them able to adjust to the parents' superhero lifestyle eventually.  And Kitty's chrome boyfriend is a stable relationship with a similarly protective power and detachment from the current X-Men roster... so all in all your kid's going to be in good hands.
 
2. Beast is a good candidate except for the distractions of being an Avenger and his own scientific, public, political, and social endeavors... he's just as likely to be lost in a microscope as he is writing a paper or book, fighting a supervillain, or trying to restart his languishing romantic life now that he's cut ties with the X-Men.  Despite his intelligence and maturity he's still a somewhat unsettled bachelor with too many pots on the stove to be fully attentive to a child. 
 
3. I think so.  There are plenty of real world parents who do extraordinary things and take extraordinary risks for a strong belief or greater good at the risk of their own lives or those of their children.  Becoming a public figure, say President, dissolves any hope of a normalcy for your kids but it's still a worthy calling that the person is justified in pursuing and able to sleep at night doing so. 
 
4. Definitely something American culture can pick up from other cultures with larger emphasis on extended families or communal living.  As a matter of practice our kids are more or less raised by public schools and their peers but we don't really acknowledge it (but when the bulk of your social interaction in a day is spent there, what else do you call it?)... but it definitely isn't the same thing as being raised by people who are deeply interested in your life and its outcome.
Posted by DarkSyde79

One of the golden age heroes who is no longer active would probably be a person who could serve as a hero. But I guess this applies more to the DC than the Marvel Universe. 

Posted by TheAntiVillain

prof x maybe

Posted by SupremoMaximo

 If it's safety they're worried about.. Then there is no one safer to watch the kid than one of it's parents.  So until the kid is old enough to wear tight pants, and open shirt beat up crack dealers in his middle school.. One of them should stay home and take care of them.  WTH? Squirrel Girl?  Sorry Baby.. You just got kidnapped by Dr Doom.    

Posted by difficlus

Cable definitely...lol

Posted by knife

It is like in the Longbow Hunter of Green Arrow, Diana told Oliver she would NOT marry him because she did not want to make orphans. Super Hero is a very dangerous business even if the creators can kill them off and bring them back. If they have kids, the children should become their TOP prioity in their lives, in other words RETIRE.
Posted by AMP - Seeker of Lost Knowledge

Nothing is more important than a child's safety. Heck, ROSE WILSON was a great nanny for LIAN HARPER.

Posted by G-Man
Staff
Posted by goatman2112

What about Uatu he's good at watching people?

Posted by sparty-dbq
Posted by Hazlenaut
Posted by TheMess1428
@Joe Venom said:
" No one is a better nanny then Cable! not only will the child benefit from protection but its also like military school
 

                               There's safe, and then there's Cable safe
"
Exactly what I was thinking.
Posted by staceydillon
BEST COVER EVER.
 
@Joe Venom said:
" No one is a better nanny then Cable! not only will the child benefit from protection but its also like military school
 

                               There's safe, and then there's Cable safe
"

Posted by speederina

Cable would be perfect if he didn't have the tendency to time travel. What you really need are the Gun Nuns. After all, they did guard the gateway to heaven for some time.
 

Gun Nuns
Posted by Eggimann
@speederina: 
What comic is that from?
Posted by CATMANEXE

 "NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" - Fran Drescher displays how she uses her superpower of exact sonics to irritate and repel super villains who would try and harm the kids, and proves once again why a Super Nanny is always better than any other.
Posted by ComicMan24
@CATMANEXE: LMAO No one in his right mind will dare to attack.
Posted by ShirEPanjshir
@Eggimann:  I believe it's from the Ghost Riders: Heavens on Fire mini series ( or something very resembling to that name )
Posted by Vance Astro

Nobody baby sits for Cage.Danielle is ALL.Nobody can kidnap her............AGAIN!
Moderator
Posted by speederina
@Eggimann: Yeah, it's "Heaven's on Fire" part 5.
Posted by Eyz
@dondasch:  Haha XD
Hell YEAH!!
 
Great debate subject! :P
Posted by caesarsghost

I dont know, Linda West got along pretty well without the nanny...  
 
ha, what about Kryb? Assuming she didn't kill you first. Seems like she cares for the kids... and no one would mess with her because she looks so creepy.
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