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InferiorEgo Writes The X4 and X5 Scripts

The X4 and X5 treatments are in, but InferiorEgo thinks his scripts are better.


Reboot, reuse, recycle. That's basically my feelings on the magical world of Hollywood adaptations. We usually see at least 5 comic book adaptations a year now, and half of them are forgettable: Man-Thing, Elektra, and Jonah Hex are prime examples of this. We all know the number one goal of Hollywood: Make some cash, so when you think about it, it's not really a surprise that a chunk of these adaptations fall flat on their face like Paris Hilton on her 21st birthday.

News has been spreading of new sequels and new reboots, and while us fans would love to see these happen, what's the point? If they're just going to rush out a sequel to make a sequel, they're going to piss off every nerd from Vancouver to Cairo. It got me wondering, can I come up with scripts worse (I mean to say "better" obviously) than the ones producers in Hollywood are putting out?
== TEASER ==
In a recent Obsessed With Film article, they stated that Lauren Donner, wife of Superman director Richard Donner, has the treatment for a couple of X-Men related films:

 “We took the treatment to Fox and they love it… And X4 leads into X5″.

So we get two X-Movies that lead right into each other. That could sound promising. At least, I hope it's promising. And don't worry Deadpool fans, it looks like you may also be getting a Deadpool reboot:

“It’s a total reboot… We’re either going to pretend that didn’t happen – or mock it, which he could... It’s insane, it’s definitely comedy, But it’s an R script, it’s really irreverent and violent. Right away, we’re out of the X-Men world”.

So the fans are again getting what they want: a zany, violent, comedy featuring Deadpool. Whether or not it will be any good is up for discussion. After reading this, I thought to myself, "Mat, at one time, you were in fact a screenwriter in Chicago. In fact, you were good at it. Don't you think you could also write an amazing X-Men sequel." I stood up and shouted to the sky, "I am Mat Elfring! Yes, I can write a great X-Men sequel." 

 X-Men First Class 2, set to hit theaters in 2015, has the team watching the moon landing and discussing it for the entire film.
I spent weeks putting together a few X-Men films, and I know I'm not supposed to release these to anyone because I plan on selling these to Fox for like, one billion dollars, but I'd love to show you guys key scenes from my screenplays for X4 and X5. Please enjoy these as much as humanly possible, and please don't judge me because these are not in perfect Screenplay format. Enjoy:

Scene 37 From X-Men 4: The Awakening Slumber (Page 25)

EXT. DESERT - DAY

XI'AN, dressed in his typical desert wardrobe, complete with beige scarf covering his face, walks through the wasteland desert. The wind pounds at his face. He squints as the desert sands pick up.

Xi'an falls to his knees. He pants heavily, and grabs his water container from his belt. He opens it and tries to take a sip, but it is empty. He throws the container to the ground and raises his hands into the air and screams.

                                                                        XI'AN

                                                    Curse you Junkpile! Curse you!

A wormhole rips through the fabric of time and space behind Xi'an.

                                                                        XI'AN

                                                        I never got to say I love you!

Xi'an is sucked into the wormhole, and the wormhole closes.

Real men love the 2099 universe.
I know what you're thinking, "Whoa! That was awesome! How do you come up with all these great ideas Mat?" What can I say? I just know what a great movie sounds like. Much later in the film, the X-Men team gets into some deep doo-doo. Please consider this scene as Oscar worthy for Best Screenplay in 2013.

Scene 145 From X-Men 4: The Awakening Slumber (Page 394)

EXT. XAVIER'S ACADEMY - DAY

J2, Nomad, Xi'an, Dark Phoenix, Xavier, Wolverine, Gambit, Maggot, Doop, Xorn, and Hulk are having a nice picnic. Deadpool walks up to them.

                                                                   DEADPOOL

    Gimme a sandwich. I love sandwiches. I love Mat Elfring too. He's the best writer of Deadpool ever.

                                                                  WOLVERINE

                                                        No sandwiches for you bub.

                                                                       GAMBIT

                                      Mon chere, creole cooking. I'm from Louisianna.

                                                                           J2

                                             I like grunge rock. It's extreme and cool.

Another Deadpool walks into the room.

                                                                     DEADPOOL 1

                                                                Hi Deadpool...

                                                                   DEADPOOL 2

                                                               Hi Deadpool...

                                                                   DEADPOOL 1

                                                                Hi Deadpool...

                                                                   DEADPOOL 2

                                                               Hi Deadpool...

FADE OUT

 Deadpool works better with his back towards the camera.
Wow! That's a pretty solid script, but what about my great script for X5? Is that worth a look at too? Of course it is! Now, a quick word, X5 takes place in the 18th century on a pirate ship, and they never leave the cabin of the ship. 

Scene 3.141 From X-Men 5: A Raisin in the Sun (Page 3)

INT. PIRATE SHIP CABIN - EVENING

XAVIER is playing chess against WOLVERINE.

                                                                WOLVERINE

          I ain't no good at this Chuck. Shouldn't we be fightin Phoenix and saving the universe?


                                                                     XAVIER
                     Weariness has, in fact, won in this room. Everything has been polished,
                     washed, sat on, used, scrubbed too often. All pretenses but living itself
                            have long since vanished from the very atmosphere of this room.

                                                                    WOLVERINE
                                                           And where does it end?
                                                                         (beat)
                   An end to misery! To stupidity! Don’t you see there isn’t any real progress,
                    Chuck, there is only one large circle that we march in, around and around,
                       each of us with our own little picture in front of us – our own little mirage
                                                                that we think is the future.

Xavier moves his rook.
                                                                        XAVIER
                                                                   Checkmate.
FADE OUT.

I hope you guys enjoyed my scripts. I'm hoping that Fox picks them up and I make some huge bank. What ideas do you guys have for X-Men scripts? Are any of them as ridiculous as these ones?

Mat "InferiorEgo" Elfring is a comedian, teacher, comic store employee, and writer of sorts.
He's also on twitter: @ inferiorego


NOTE: The majority of the dialogue from my X-Men 5 film actually comes from the classic Lorraine Hansberry play A Raisin in the Sun. I totally made you guys read classic literature!



40 Comments
Edited by kito87

Some good stuff.....well funny

Edited by Grim

My X-4 would be the xmen discovering that Wanda has been screwing with reality since X1 (she removed herself and her brother from reality). Once they fix every freaking issue with the series (including Wolverine and the upcoming re-prequel) via this cop-out, X-5 can be House of M, word for word picture for picture from the comic.
The two part film sells uber well for throwing the Avengers, X-men, and Spiderman in the same movie, and Fanboys around the world rejoice!!!

Posted by EdwardWindsor

Classic stuff  man,  i would love to see Cable in an Xmen movie myself if only to also get a climpse of  the AOA universe. But would just be happy to see Cable  and maybe bishop as well.

Posted by Dark Cell


X-4 would be awesome if Deadpool appeard and KICKED EVERYONES ASS

 

Good article man

Posted by leokearon

  

  

 


You are mssing a important part of dialogue, it is here from 2.11 to 2.31

Posted by Eyz

Hollywood hasn't produced the big impressive media they still think they do.
These days you have ton of rushed films, quickly 3D-ified movies to grab in more money...and no more substance behind it.

They'd like to think that making "offering" a movie adaptation of any other media is like a reward for the audience  (old fans and newcomers alike) ..but when you see an Eisner award nominated comic like the current Jonah Hex comic getting a Razzie Award-nominated movie... you know how bad their products are these days..

Posted by dondasch

Wow, Mat.  You should totally be writing the Akira script.  It would be tons better I'm sure

Posted by xerox_kitty

*steals & sells your script to Fox for one billion dollars!*
Moderator
Posted by RedheadedAtrocitus

Wow that's pretty neat!

Posted by oldgum

I hope Maddie(you know why) and Sinister can appear lol.

Posted by SupremoMaximo

I dont remember them fighting Phoenix in A Raisin in the Sun.

Posted by Doctor!!!!!

X4 and X5..... thats a piece of work that can't be saved by Hollywood.

Posted by SpidermanWins

Told you all Deadpool will be an R rated comedy

Posted by Sobe Cin


Mat, thanks for the comedic farce that is your scriptwriting, it made the morning.

 

 

 

The rest of this post has been deleted by the writer to preserve his sanity.

Posted by inferiorego
@SupremoMaximo said:
" I dont remember them fighting Phoenix in A Raisin in the Sun. "
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
They did in the P. Diddy version.

@xerox-kitty said:
"
*steals & sells your script to Fox for one billion dollars!* "

That's MY billion dollars!

@Sobe Cin said:
"


Mat, thanks for the comedic farce that is your scriptwriting, it made the morning.

 

 

 

The rest of this post has been deleted by the writer to preserve his sanity.

"

You are welcome. It was more fun to write, especially when I spent an hour choosing what play to steal dialogue from.
Staff
Posted by Spiderslike

In all honesty I'm really starting to think I could write a movie really I am. The only thing that seems to let a movie even become a movie is if it matches the needed length and thats it. Give me a mouth some pepsi and some money I'll write the Amazing Spider-Man, X4-7. The only reboots or movies I see that have any real talent are Iron Man and Incredible Hulk. I understand writing movies is hard but after a while you just got to notice when something just won't work right.

Posted by sora_thekey


      DEADPOOL

    Gimme a sandwich. I love sandwiches. I love Mat Elfring too. He's the best writer of Deadpool ever.

Can't. Stop. LOLing!
Moderator
Posted by The Psyentist

I must read this when i have the time. *saves link*

Posted by Gambit1024

Lol this is great

Posted by Jotham

No way will the movies be this awesome.

Posted by tonis

I just read classic literature?

Now I feel so violated :)

perhaps you should ask for...
 a trillion dollars!!!
Posted by inferiorego

Do you guys think my buddies and I should film some of these?

Staff
Posted by Final Arrow
@inferiorego said:
"

Do you guys think my buddies and I should film some of these?

"
OH GOD YES.... Can I do a voice over... OH OH can I do the opening voice over.

XD
Posted by Lurkin

Maybe you'll get lucky and they'll use a part of your screenplay idea in the movie

Edited by The Poet


NOTE: The majority of the dialogue from my X-Men 5 film actually comes from the classic Lorraine Hansberry play A Raisin in the Sun. I totally made you guys read classic literature! 


   
*chuckle*
Moderator
Posted by inferiorego
@lurkin said:
" Maybe you'll get lucky and they'll use a part of your screenplay idea in the movie "
they better pay me
Staff
Posted by Journey Into Chaos

I think they should redo 3 first then worry about 4
Posted by Hawkeye446

Wow, better then a fox script any day...
Posted by Gambit1024

"GAMBIT- Mon chere, creole cooking. I'm from Louisianna."

 

I lol everytime I think about it, lmao

Posted by sweatboy

the Picnic was pretty neat lol, i have an rp that goes on that line, i really liked mine though. Ha ha but yours was better

Posted by danhimself

Paris Hilton joke for the win!!!!!!!!

Posted by Red L.A.M.P.
@inferiorego:   Mat how do you come up with all these awesome ideas?
Staff
Posted by HexThis

They can't make X4 and X5, JUST DO X, for gods sake. Let's just reboot.

Edited by Gallivant

I'd like to see Days of Future Past Trilogy for X-men. BRING ON THE FLIPPING SENTINELS! none of this teasing crap in the war room!


So yeah your X4 and X5 is great! spit in X3 face all you can please!

Aside from that, I vote for a complete overhaul like so many others. just like the first batman movies... Act like Christopher Nolan and never look back.
Posted by .Mistress Redhead.
@Red L.A.M.P. said:
" @inferiorego:   Mat how do you come up with all these awesome ideas? "
Cause he is the god damn Inferiorego ;)
Posted by inferiorego
@Red L.A.M.P. said:
" @inferiorego:   Mat how do you come up with all these awesome ideas? "
I'm actually an idea robot... I'm not a human at all
Staff
Posted by Comiclove5

A complete reboot? That's the best X-men pitch I heard in a while.

Posted by xVikkix

Err wtf is this?

Posted by queenfrost_

Pure perfection

Posted by sesquipedalophobe

I liked when Wolverine and Xavier delved into the complexities of pirate ship cabins. Only the bourgeois would dislike this script.