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Buy Me This! 4/14/14

This week, we take a look at some weird things for sale on eBay.

If you've ever bought or sold things on eBay, then you know that it's this very delicate balance of fine, honest folks trading items across the net and utter insanity. So today, we decided to take a look at a few cool super-hero related items on eBay and a few super-nutso ones as well.

Cast Bronze Child Playing Super-Hero Statue

Nothing says "stay outta my yard" like a bronzed child in a Superman costume reaching out to be saved. This eBay item doesn't run cheap though. This creepy statue will cost you $8,580 with a shipping cost of FREE! Well, at least it's not a complete loss, when you try to put this in our front yard. I cannot fathom a reason anyone would ever want to own this. I have so many questions. The main question being "Why was this made?" If in fact you do buy it, this 95 pound statue will only take 3-4 months to arrive to your house, so you have plenty of time to regret it all.

Batmobile Bed

Growing up, every young boy has the dream of one day owning the impossible dream: a racecar bed. You know what's better than a racecar bed? A Batmobile bed. Buy this bed for yourself or your kid, I guess. This Batmobed will cost you $2,397 with $175 for the cost of shipping. If you can get through the large font, all in caps, on the description page, you'll know this bed comes with the dresser, nightstand, and wall art, as well as the bed. So, you're really getting a whole bedroom set. If only I was still a bachelor, or if only my fiancee loved Batman as much as I do.

Make Your Dog Batman

If you're not giggling right now, there's something seriously wrong with you. This dog costume thing, aside from being absolutely hilarious and adorable, is available on eBay for $42.60, with free shipping. The weird thing about this product is aside from the pictures and the price, there's no other information. What size dog does this fit? Do I have to buy a dog like that? While this is a cute outfit, I'm just not sure my pug will fit into this.

What is Going on Here?

In the years I've been jumping around on eBay, I've never come across anything this weird. Yes, more weird than haunted baby dolls. This bobblehead is listed as "Signed, American Super Hero Bobble Head Action Figure." Hold onto your seats because the list price is $4,982 and $125.49 for shipping. The description area is riddled with bad jokes and "trying-too-harditus," but here's the kicker, the person selling this is a respectable eBay seller. What's going on, and more importantly, what is going on here?

Wolverine Claws

The coolest and most dangerous item, this week, has to go to these Wolverine claws we found which you can currently bid on for $44 or Buy It Now for $64.99. Shipping for these bad boys will only run you $13.34. Each of these weights 3.5 pounds and they are 12.5" in length. We're not sure how sharp or dangerous these are, so chances are, you're not going to want to wear these puppies to work. Just a suggestion.

Always check the shipping prices...

While these patches say they only cost $1, and the title of the item says "free shipping," the shipping actually costs $92.75. Always remember to read carefully before you buy. $93 for 5 patches is pretty ridiculous.

That's it for another week of "Buy Me This!" Next Monday, we'll have a special edition of Buy Me This featuring items from WonderCon!

Mat "Inferiorego" Elfring is a writer, joke teller, twitter guy, podcaster, and does NOT want you to buy him anything in this piece.

Posted by AllStarSuperman

Superkid is supercreepy

Posted by mak13131313

That child statue is definitely creepy. The Batdog is just to cute. And $93 for shipping covers the raising price of stamps. Ha!

Posted by Jonny_Anonymous

that stupid statue gives me the heebie jeebies

Posted by Renchamp

Dear Mat,

I looked into the seller for the "super hero" bobble. Besides selling questionable memorabilia (made out of gryphon bones?) there is also up for grabs a butt-load of plain-sight safes - like a container that looks like Teddy Grahams, only you can put your valuables in there to hide your stuff in plain sight. (Only $8 - or just buy your own Teddy Grahams can for $2 and then put your crap in it.) Besides an assortment of kitchen stuffs in which to hide your jewels and other sundries, the seller has books and phones to hide your crap in. And instructional DVDs on how to protect yourself (but none by Chuck Norris?). And a few Precious Moments figurines? And gadgets to protect yourself. And paintball equipment. And Chinese Terra Cotta warrior candles? And a set of 100 electronic rape whistles.



Posted by RulerOfThisUniverse

I need that Batdog outfit.

Edited by wundagoreborn

The secret is that those Bat-patches actually teleport you to Gotham.

So 5 trips for less than a hundred bucks is a pretty sweet deal.