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Best New Comic Book Battles This Week: 12/14/12

Bloodshot takes on Chainsaw in a graphic battle, Kaine beats up a bunch of merry robbers and Deathstroke takes on an unkillable enemy!

Boy oh boy, you're in for a treat this week! Thanks for checking out the latest edition of 'Best Battles' and I'm extremely pleased with the chaos you're about to observe. We have bones snapping, a head exploding, and, just to counteract all of that R-rated action, a wonderful display of holiday spirit from Kaine. He's such a jolly clone.

Narrowing it down to these 3 wasn't easy. I know I say that a lot, but it really was incredibly difficult this week. Ultimately, I decided it would be best to pick one from each publisher. I don't have the money or attention span to read every new comic, so if there's a praiseworthy battle I missed, please feel free to provide scans or just talk about it below.

CAUTION! There are spoilers and this week is particularly gory. You've been warned!

Bloodshot vs Chainsaw

Packing only a pistol, Bloodshot bumps into the deadly team Chainsaw. The group is heavily armed and each brings a different specialty to the table (a heavy gunner, a skilled fighter, etc). Needless to say, Bloodshot is pretty screwed right off the bat. He takes cover but it's a futile effort once a RPG is sent his way. He bolts and thanks to his nanites, he can manipulate the facility they're in. He manages to lock Gunner (the brute) in the cryo morgue with him. A little coolant later and one member of Chainsaw is down for the count. But Recon (the skilled one) takes on Bloodshot next and this is where things get shockingly brutal. A healing factor is good and all, but it doesn't mean much if you can't immediately heal your limbs. In this case, Recon goes to town on Bloodshot's arm.

In what universe is Bloodshot the "freak" compared to Recon? Look at that face!

Okay, a snapped wrist and a few busted ribs is sure to slow a man down, but this is Bloodshot we're talking about. It's going to take way more than that to bring him down, and unfortunately for Recon, snapping his wrist only made matters worse. Words can't express how astonishingly amazing the following display is.

== TEASER ==
My jaw = dropped

An issue of BLOODSHOT wouldn't be complete without making our anti-hero suffer a little more, though. It's traditional to see him riddled with bullets and that happens once again when he has the misfortune of bumping into the remaining members of Chainsaw. Take a minute or two to appreciate the following.

GET THIS MAN A BAND-AID!

While we're at it, let's burn him a bit as well. Because clearly, Bloodshot can't get thrown into the grinder enough. The poor guy is literally trapped and helpless at this point.

I can't help but feel bad for Bloodshot.

Luckily for him, Chainsaw's "command" is taken out and it gives him a moment to strike. One punch with his enhanced strength does the trick and his vicious foes are left counting sheep... or whatever these twisted projects think of to sleep.

Double THWOK!

So, motivated to start reading BLOODSHOT yet?

Kaine vs Merry Robbers

Ho ho holy fudge! SCARLET SPIDER #12 was a phenomenal issue and had a hilariously fun battle. Kaine's made a few friends during his stay in Houston and these Christmas themed robbers made the mistake of taking one of them hostage. You can't help but laugh at the situation. This fool is in way over his head and he has no idea about it. You know it's go time when Kaine wastes a perfectly good cup of coffee.

Santa made the mistake of putting Kaine on the naughty list.

One sinister Santa down, a few more in the lobby to go. These blokes have no idea about the world of hurt that's about to leap from that elevator and into their faces. I don't think I'll ever be able to look at Santa the same way after this issue. Every time I spot one at the mall, I'm definitely going to envision Kaine randomly jumping out and humiliating the guy.

So many sunglasses were ruined on this day.

The Robbers might have holiday cheer on their side, but no amount of Saint Nick attire can counter-act Kaine's superhuman speed, strength and reflexes. The outcome was determined before this fight began and luckily for us, we get a few panels showing just how unfair this fight really is.

At least the gifts weren't damaged!

Oh yeah, happy holidays!

Deathstroke vs Koschei

Slade Wilson is back, man! The tactical mercenary had his intelligence on display in DEATHSTROKE #15. He's tasked with taking down Koschei, an allegedly unkillable guy. We saw him shrug off a point blank molotov cocktail in the opening scene, but Slade has something far more effective planned: a bullet to the brain.

Biscuit. Slade was going to say biscuit.

Well, it turns out Koschei can regrow his head in just a few moments. Alright, time to cross the most simple and effective plan off your list, Slade. Realizing it'll be more complicated, the Terminator brings it in close to study his enemy and attempt to find a weakness. It turns out a gun barrel to the chest isn't one of them.

Somewhere, Deadshot is pissed off that he didn't do that first.

Seeing as he has highly durable armor and a healing factor, Deathstroke doesn't mind letting Koschei think he's getting the better of him. Fill the arrogant fool with confidence and let him boast. Meanwhile, Slade can take the hits and learn all about his enemy. Koschei eventually says no one except for him can choose when he dies. Apparently, that gives Slade all of the information he needs and he makes a cruel escape. And when I say cruel, I mean grenade in your pants cruel.

Oh my.

Not exactly the most elegant way to escape, but damn, it certainly looks stunning. As expected, Deathstroke's armor holds up against the point blank explosion.

How do you think Deathstroke will kill him?

Honorable Mentions

Want more action? Here's the previous Best Battles

Well, those are my top 3. What about you?

Gregg Katzman is a freelance writer for Comic Vine and IGN Entertainment. He still can't get over Bloodshot's crazy bone kill.

35 Comments
Posted by Lvenger

Yeesh grenade to the pants. Not a dignified way to go. Luckily the guy can heal fast from that. And I was chuckling all the way through the Scarlet Spider vs Santa pick. Excellent choices this week Gregg!

Posted by nerdork

Bloodshot and Chainsaw was a great fight. All of the "best battles" are awesome this week! Cant wait to grab Deathstroke 15. Thanks Gregg!

Posted by _slim_

Nice choices.

I'm really digging that Bloodshot fight.

Posted by jwalser3

I don't know how DeathStorke knows how to kill him now? Koschei didn't say much.

Posted by Jonny_Anonymous

I loved how all the robbers where called stuff like Papa Noel, Chris Cringle, Saint Nick ect

Also I'v gotta say the Winter Solider vs everyone was pretty great

Posted by Lightburst

Nice Honorable mentions and those Santas got wrecked!

Posted by SupremeHyperion

meh

Edited by Queso6p4

Ha! Very nice picks and captions, as usual. I actually picked up Suicide Squad because of the horrific interaction between Harley and Joker. I was actually taken aback.

Posted by aaunderoath
Posted by InnerVenom123

I love how the banner is falling down behind Kaine.

Kinda like in this scene.

Posted by k4tzm4n
@InnerVenom123:  
Next clone saga: Mesh Kaine's DNA with T-Rex DNA. 
 
KAINOSAURUS-REX. 
 
@nerdork@Lvenger@Queso6p4: You're welcome. Thanks for checking it out each week :D
Staff
Posted by InnerVenom123

@k4tzm4n: I love the fact that this idea was technically done. Remember Raptor? :P

Posted by CBninja

The fight between Joker and Harley was excellent as well.

Posted by SmashBrawler

I loved the fight in Bloodshot. Bloodshot stabbing Recon in the neck with his own broken bone was absolutely awesome.

The other fights in Scarlet Spider and Deathstroke look great as well. Great feature as always.

Posted by Farwind

@jwalser3: Take a look back at the very beginning of the issue, and pay attention to what Koschei says.

Posted by entropy_aegis

@jwalser3 said:

I don't know how DeathStorke knows how to kill him now? Koschei didn't say much.

Koschei eventually says no one except for him can choose when he dies,

Wont be surprised if Slade ends up outsmarting him to death(suicide me thinks).

Edited by k4tzm4n
@entropy_aegis said:

@jwalser3 said:

I don't know how DeathStorke knows how to kill him now? Koschei didn't say much.

Koschei eventually says no one except for him can choose when he dies,

Wont be surprised if Slade ends up outsmarting him to death(suicide me thinks).

Yup, that was definitely the line that gave Slade an idea. Now it's just a matter of seeing how it happens. 
 
@SmashBrawler: Thanks!
Staff
Posted by Cavemold

the bloodshot fight was excellent!

Posted by doombot890

i was reading Deathstroke last night and was thinking this will make the list for sure!

Edited by HigorM

@k4tzm4n: nice job man!

Posted by SmashBrawler

@k4tzm4n: No problem. This was definitely the most entertaining entry so far.

Posted by evilvegeta74

Nice!

Posted by jwalser3

@Farwind said:

@jwalser3: Take a look back at the very beginning of the issue, and pay attention to what Koschei says.

Thanks I didn't noticed.

Posted by I Am Legend

That Santa fight reminds me of the classic battle between Santa Claus and Jesus Christ in Battle Pope.

Posted by Spideycap

Double Thwok! Classic. Damn that Deathstroke looks good. I may have to check it out, now that Liefield is off art especially.

Posted by Agent_Murdoch

Wait wait wait, Arcade fought the Young Avengers? Where did that happen?

Posted by k4tzm4n
@Agent_Murdoch said:

Wait wait wait, Arcade fought the Young Avengers? Where did that happen?

Well, not the official team 'Young Avengers,' but instead the group of young Avengers kidnapped in AVENGERS ARENA #1. Sorry for the confusion. 
Staff
Posted by k4tzm4n
@HigorM said:

@k4tzm4n: nice job man!

Thanks! 
 
@SmashBrawler said:

@k4tzm4n: No problem. This was definitely the most entertaining entry so far.

Happy to hear it :D
Staff
Posted by the creator

Slade will kill him by taking away the things in his life that make his life worth living / worth continuing with. That way he will give up on life, choosing to die and Slade will deliver the killing shot / blow.

Posted by Jake Fury

Man, Bloodshot takes a merciless pounding every issue.

Posted by k4tzm4n
@Jake Fury said:

Man, Bloodshot takes a merciless pounding every issue.

He really does, doesn't he? At least he dished out an equal amount of pain to his enemies in this issue :D
Staff
Posted by RedheadedAtrocitus

Slade always is bad@$$. Should have a crossover and see how he fares against Bloodshot :)

Posted by MadeinBangladesh

awesome deathstroke battle! THank you Liefeld for leaving DC!

Posted by Queso6p4

@k4tzm4n: Our/my pleasure, I'm sure. :-)

Posted by DocFishstick

Santa never saw it coming