Welcome to the latest edition of 'Best Battles!' The goal of this ongoing feature is simple: celebrate the fun and frenetic fights that took place in this week's new comics! After reading through my pile, I've managed to pick 3 favorites and a whole lotta honorable mentions. Once you're done enjoying the pictures and commentary, you're welcome to speak up and share your own top 3!
As Bane once said, "let the games begin!"
WARNING! This obviously contains spoilers!
Deadpool vs. Undead Presidents
The zombie Presidents stand no chance against Wade Wilson now that he's sporting a glowing sword that can slice and dice them. Enchanted by Doctor Strange, Deadpool's latest toy is a pink weapon of destruction that these undead politicians fear. This issue proves why they have every reason to fear the blade as Deadpool uses it to violently slash them apart. But before we get to the gruesome goodness, check out how good Deadpool looks as Marilyn Monroe. Please try to resist making a cat call while sitting at your computer. That would just be weird and sad.
Shame on Tony Moore for making the Merc with a Mouth pull that off so well. It's definitely a close second to Deadpool's infamous Marvel Girl outfit. Anyway, back to the zombie slaughtering. Sorry, JFK, but you're the first to go. Unfortunately for him, the last thing he saw before dying (again) was Deadpool's "little Wade."
So far, the story has been taking down Presidents one by one, but this issue goes full speed ahead and Deadpool racks up quite a kill count. Writers Gerry Duggan and Brian Posehn recommended Pantera for this scene, but I think "MMMBop" is far more fitting. Click that link and enjoy the slaying, Viners.
Ten dead Presidents later and it's time for the main event -- Deadpool vs. Abraham Lincoln! But this is nothing like the other matches. Wade's now been shot in the head twice by the sixteenth President, so it's personal. The two put aside their weapons and face off in a UFC ring. Prepare for shirtless zombie Lincoln pummeling Deadpool!
Wilson might be a highly skilled mercenary, but Lincoln is... well, Lincoln. The famous U.S. President dishes out a vicious beating on Wade, even slugging him across the face with a folded chair (see the homepage image for that one). Yet the signature wrestling move was only the beginning. As Lincoln obliterated Wade with his fists, the real pain came from his words.
Wade has endured far worse, though. Deadpool responds to Lincoln's cynical question with not only a fair answer, but also with a sword to the neck. Luckily for Lincoln, the 27th U.S. President swoops in and recovers his lopped off head before swooping away.
Curse you, Taft!!!
Justice League vs. Ocean Master & Atlantis' Army
The only thing standing between Boston and Ocean Master's army is the Justice League. Aquaman thinks he can placate the situation, but unfortunately for his allies, Arthur has a reputation to keep in front of his brother, too. He has to show his dominance over his peers and convince his brother to cancel the assault. Sorry about what's going to happen to your jaw, Kal-El.
While I can somewhat understand Arthur's mindset, Wonder Woman bluntly points out how ridiculous his actions are. Arthur has an eloquent retort, though -- a massive punch. Use your words, Aquaman!
Alright, so that's two totally unfair strikes Arthur has now landed on his friends. I'm not really sure what Superman is doing during this time because I'm fairly confident Arthur's punch wouldn't keep him outta commission for more than a few moments. Regardless, Diana is more than capable of holding her own and she finally gives Aquaman a taste of his own medicine.
As much as I love Batman, he's definitely fighting above his weight class here. It's just too bad he didn't put up more of an effort before being swiftly taken down. Arthur saves The Dark Knight from a fatal strike, but nothing could prepare him for what comes next.
Orm's army emerges from the ocean and it is truly a sight to behold. The art team really did a brilliant job with this stunning splash page. Sorry, Boston, but you're screwed. Save them, Ben Affleck!
Wonder Woman, Supes and Aquaman attempt to fight the army but it's not long before Ocean Master displays how ridiculously overpowered he is. Superman has to save Diana from a tornado of water and then decides to let loose. That "retreat" panel rocks -- it's just too bad Superman's display of dominance is cut short.
Not only does Orm control the ocean, but he also controls storm clouds (sorry, but you're no longer special, Storm). Now, I'm not the biggest Superman expert around, but I feel like this attack really wouldn't be enough to keep Kal down for the count. What do you think?
Save them, Cyborg! You're their only hope!
X-O Manowar vs. X-O Commandos
You know how excited that Nintendo 64 kid was, right? That's exactly how I felt reading this fight. Seriously, if you're not already reading this series, this is the issue to buy. Like, right now. Go get it. Oh, you need a reason? Okay, hopefully this terrific encounter will convince you.
Odds are many of you aren't reading this (shame on you!), so I'll be kind and give you a quick recap. Aric, a warrior from the past, is using an armor that The Vine, advanced aliens, worship. They're rather pissed that they can't use the armor and a mere human could. Once he gets in the suit he escapes their captivity and heads back to Earth. Now, they're coming to take him out. They send X-O Commandos his way, but despite superior numbers, they're chumps compared to him. Caught up? Good. Now let's get back to this crazy good battle.
Impressive attack, Commandos, but it'll take way more than that to keep X-O Manowar down. In fact, I have no idea what it would technically take to defeat Aric while he's rocking the armor. In spite of having an incredibly advanced armor, an energy sword is by far the coolest thing he has at his disposal. The follow will prove why.
So, do you feel motivated to start reading X-O MANOWAR yet? The answer is probably yes, but I'll throw in the end result of that energy blade attack just to be safe.
In case you're wondering, yes, this issue is a good jumping on point!
Honorable Mentions
- Shazam vs. Black Adam (If Scott Snyder hates horses, then Geoff Johns hates Christmas tress)
- TMNT vs. Foot Ninjas
- Spiral vs. Psylocke
- New Guardians & Zamarons vs. Ganthet & The Third Army (If picked, a link with the song "You Give Love a Bad Name" would have been provided)
- The Avengers vs. The Garden
- Supergirl vs. The Flash
- Thor vs. Mzee
- Bucky vs. Leo & Black Widow
- Joker vs. Nightwing
Gregg Katzman is a freelance writer for Comic Vine & IGN Entertainment. Be sure to follow him on Twitter and feel free to provide feedback in a thread made just for this ongoing segment!
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