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Batman Battle of the Month: Batman vs. Squirrel Girl

Bruce Wayne faces his most dangerous threat yet! Can the Dark Knight overcome or will he be obliterated? The winner is determined by you, so get in here and vote!

Batman has faced a lot of talented and deadly characters in this monthly gauntlet. From Taskmaster to X-23, DC's most iconic street level hero has his abilities put to the test each and every month. Seeing as this is the Batman Battle of the Month for April, we thought we'd do something really fun. Sure, we could have selected someone like Galactus or give Wayne five minutes of prep time and then have him go against the Avengers, but none of those options even remotely compare to the combatant we've selected. Can Batman overcome Squirrel Girl, a character that could possibly be his greatest challenge yet? Will he walk away the victor or will the onslaught of claws be too much for Bruce to handle?

CLICK HERE TO VOTE!!!

Match Rules

  • Combatants are in character (aka morals apply for both).
  • This is a random encounter (aka no prep/prior knowledge for either).
  • They're fighting in a generic downtown city setting. It's unpopulated, at night and all standard city lights remain on. Assume they start roughly 40 feet apart and visible. There's a fair amount of cover between them (parked vehicles, bus stops and such). The entire area is on limits. This means alleys, rooftops, building interiors, etc.
  • Both characters have their standard gear. For simplicity's sake, let's say there's something just like Central Park 3 blocks away. Assume it has a moderate amount of squirrels.
  • Incapacitation, knockout or death all count as elimination. Making a tactical retreat counts as a loss, too.
  • Just to clarify: Batman has his New 52 gear, however, his skill feats from the pre-52 era can be taken into account since he's supposed to be as skilled as he once was. Plus, that just makes things more fun to speculate, right?
  • Hey, you know what would be really cool? Treating everyone else in the debate with respect. If you think someone's saying something that just isn't true, go ahead and stick to the facts to point out why. There's no need at all to drop insults just because you disagree with someone. Seriously, this is just talking about a fictional fight, there's no need for immaturity and mudslinging. Throw in the fact this is the April edition and you can bet there's going to be a lot of lighthearted posts made for both sides. Long story short, be cool.
  • If you think the poll isn't going how it should, making an informative post about why a character is being underestimated and spreading the word is far more useful than complaining and name calling. Just saying.
  • One more thing: you don't need to write an essay to be selected as the Viner Argument of the Week. Sometimes concise posts can be way more effective than a flood of paragraphs. And yes, odds are we'll opt to highlight the funniest posts in Friday's update.
Warning: your brain may not be ready for a fight this epic.

Viners, you have the week to research, debate and vote! This means there's no reason to vote right away if you don't have all of the info you need to make an educated decision. Check the homepage Friday for an updated article with the following:

  • Thoughts from the staff.
  • A Viner Argument for both characters (can't include scans and must be in the poll thread).
  • If we're lucky, blurbs from industry talent.

Feel free to make future "Batman: Battle of the Month" suggestions in the comments below or via Twitter!

64 Comments
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Posted by Sovereign91001

Heh.

Posted by MyFavoriteViltrumite23

Sqirrel Girl Curbs

Posted by StMichalofWilson

This.....will be interesting.

Edited by Riddlergeist

i honestly think batman would win...

squirrel girl has beaten thanos but we dont know how...

for all we know it could've been pure luck.

Edited by Jphu8414

Oh boy...

Posted by Deadpool2325

She beat Dr. Doom and Thanos nuff' said!http://goodcomics.comicbookresources.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/squirrelgirl4.jpg

Posted by RustyRoy

Squirrel Girls sucks.

Edited by Outside_85

Sigh... Batman beats the in-house joke.

Posted by Black_Claw

Squirrel Girl stomps

Posted by RisingBean

Are you friggin' kidding me?

Edited by Cypher4

I think Squirrel Girl gets by on sheer luck. Sure, she took down Dr. Doom by herself while it takes the entire Fantastic Four to do that, but how many times has she done it? I would say she might beat Batman the first time, but after that he would learn to protect himself against...squirrels.

Posted by PapiNacho

Well Squirrel Girl beat Thanos but we also know that Thanos was once arrested by the police so police>Thanos and as we know Batman > police; putting them on even ground. Having said that while Squirrel Girl's reality warping powers helped her beat Dr. Doom, Batman's own reality warping powers enable him to kick the Spectre, living embodiment of the presence itself . Thus since Specter>Doom Batman> Squirrel Girl.

Posted by MadeinBangladesh

BATMAN HAS ZERO CHANCE!!!

Posted by thewalkingdeadpool18

Really? Putting the most popular comic book character against like an f list hero? Squirrel girl would obviously win but popularity beats all when it comes to fiction.

Posted by CaptainMarvel4Ever

Why does Batman get his own specific battle segment on this site?

Posted by Perfect 10

Doreen all the way! Mutant Girrrl POWER!! (with some avengers nanny power on the side)

Posted by Perfect 10
Posted by ARMIV2

Oh, boy.

Posted by illmatic4177

Oh come on lmao.

Edited by k4tzm4n

The fact this is the APRIL (Fools') edition seems to be eluding quite a few people. That's too bad.

@captainmarvel4ever He has a fight once a month. Many people -- including myself -- have fun speculating over how DC's talented street leveler would fare in a random encounter against a character he knows nothing about (and sometimes it'll use someone in the Bat-universe -- close villains or allies). If that's not your cup of tea, no biggie. But it tends to generate a lot of engaging discussions and some moderate to good traffic. I tried using a greater variety of characters in the CV Battle of the Week, but the time and effort I put into those often vastly outweighed the amount of traffic they'd generate.

Staff
Posted by Petey_is_Spidey

Squirrel Girl is a waking plot device. Sure, she still wins this fight, but not in a Curb.

Posted by Erik

Squirrel Girl wins without getting so much as a scratch or bruise on her body.

Edited by HumanRocket

Why does Batman get his own specific battle segment on this site?

Because he's ______ Man.

Posted by AmazingWebHead

I admit, I kinda wanna see them both loose. Their "I know better than anyone else" viewpoints have made them both kinda annoying.

But if there's no prep time, then Squirrel Girl owns.

Edited by micah

Took out Thanos. That's all the argument I need.

P.S the Watcher himself confirms it was the real Thanos

Edited by AlKusanagi

Tippy-Toe solos.

Posted by TheCheeseStabber

Batman looks at the reader of the comic

"You gotta be kidding me?" He says to the reader.

Batman then steps out of the comic and slaps the reader and burns the comic

Posted by The Stegman

Ends in sex.

Online
Edited by senglord

Batman is rarely the level of plot of Deathstroke, who stands no chance against the wall bending Squirrel Girl. She is the embodiment of irreverence and fun that most comic geeks have to shed off for office work and daily toil. Characters like Squirrel Girl win to keep things fun. She brings the funny to every title she is in. To be brief, she is Falstaff with feats.

Bruce gets to master all martial arts and learn alien technology in minutes, get with beautiful women that die so often he should view himself as a walking std, and have most of his dialog be with himself in his own head(gifting us with his inner goodies). Against most cosmic beings whose power is expressed through pretty splash pages, going up against a character whose popularity and therefore existence is sustained by their musings of the situation is a very mighty task. If Bruce muses a plausible sounding win scenario, you better believe it will happen almost exactly like that after his initial thrashing to build tension.

The battle goes to SG because Batman's brooding cannot sustain itself on the light and happiness that will overwhelm the angst and resolution in depression that gives his narration power. Heroes around SG become happier, and that will break batman worse than Bane could ever dream.

Posted by Maddpanda531
Edited by animehunter

I've noticed that Squirrel Girl is very underestimated in regards to her abilities

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Edited by deadcool_XD

#No doubt batman's going to win. Everyone is saying squirrel girl will win because she took down both doctor doom and thanos, well batman has defeated darkseid even on his own turf apocalypse multiple times. He has also taken down superman In conclusion batman reigns supreme.

I do not own this image.

Posted by Red_Robin212

Batman wins

Squirrel Girl is one character I'd love to see Batman break his No kill rule for.

Irritating sod

Posted by isgavin_5
Edited by NukeA6

Squirrel Girl is a walking pile of BS. At the most, she should be at Tigra's level. If she is so powerful, where was she during Infinity Gauntlet? Secret Wars? Onslaught? Kree-Skrull War? Secret Invasion? Age of Apocalypse? The Cancerverse? Marvel Zombies? Inferno?

She's just an old joke and for that, Batman automatically wins.

Posted by Teerack

Squirrel Girl really always wins.

Edited by Hawkguy

@red_robin212 said:

Batman wins

Squirrel Girl is one character I'd love to see Batman break his No kill rule for.

Irritating sod

Edited by bloggerboy

Squirrel Girl. Just because.

Edited by 8008S

Oh boy it's a toughie!

It's been said that with prep, Batman could beat God.

But SG beat Thanos.

Can Batman beat Thanos? Because if not, SG > Thanos > God > Batman.

Cause logic.

Edited by that_one_guy_at_the_comic_shop

depends on if adam west batman gear counts...cause you know....squirrel repellent

Edited by medulaoblaganda

@deadcool_xd: that is a big big lie. batman never defeated spectre or apocalypse. apocalypse is in marvel universe. batman defeated superman via kryptonite. SG doesn't need to cheat to defeat batman, after all she as defeated planetary level characters like Micheal kovac, ego the living planet, thanos doctor doom, modok, wolverine, terrax, giganto, the mandarin, bug-eyed voice, Pluto, dead-pool, fin fang foom, baron mordo, i mean, her fight record is almost unparalleled. batman doesn't have this kind of fight records, not even close. lool

Posted by meatwadf

@riddlergeist: It actually comes down to the fact that she's a Silver Age character existing in modern times. She can get away with a lot more than any modern character ever could. Imagine Silver Age Supes vs. Modern Age...

Posted by Osiris_Phantom

I'm just going to vote:

Squirrel Girl

There are already so many comments explaining why she could win(with scans), even if its sheer luck that I feel it pointless for me to state what's already been stated. Although batman would win under different circumstances, even a small change like location and distance could allow batman to win.

....Have you been to a park before, "moderate" squirrels usually means a whole CLAN. Those things are everywhere haha

Edited by McDerpyson

Squirrel Girl is basically TOAA in trolling form. It is a complete and utter stomp in her favor.

@senglord said:

Batman is rarely the level of plot of Deathstroke, who stands no chance against the wall bending Squirrel Girl. She is the embodiment of irreverence and fun that most comic geeks have to shed off for office work and daily toil. Characters like Squirrel Girl win to keep things fun. She brings the funny to every title she is in. To be brief, she is Falstaff with feats.

Bruce gets to master all martial arts and learn alien technology in minutes, get with beautiful women that die so often he should view himself as a walking std, and have most of his dialog be with himself in his own head(gifting us with his inner goodies). Against most cosmic beings whose power is expressed through pretty splash pages, going up against a character whose popularity and therefore existence is sustained by their musings of the situation is a very mighty task. If Bruce muses a plausible sounding win scenario, you better believe it will happen almost exactly like that after his initial thrashing to build tension.

The battle goes to SG because Batman's brooding cannot sustain itself on the light and happiness that will overwhelm the angst and resolution in depression that gives his narration power. Heroes around SG become happier, and that will break batman worse than Bane could ever dream.

Posted by youknowwhattodo

There's one correct answer here, and it's not Batman.

Edited by WarkupoZ

Batman can win, just not the Batman you are thinking of.

You think Squirrel-Girl is campy? You have no idea what campy is.


Posted by sturmritter

Hands down, Squirrel Girl would win at least their first contest. She has an army of squirrels, has fought and defeated both Dr. Doom and Thanos, she can rip Batman to shreds and is generally vastly underrated by a majority of her opponents. Afterwards, Batman might be more inclined to prepare accordingly, but Squirrel girl would make Magpie (from Beware the Batman) look tame.

Posted by Superteddy

I have never laughed so hard in my life! I'm sorry I am a huge fan of Batman but SG for the win here. And no there is no logic behind it, just SG for the win, loll

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